tl;dr FWB of 9 months ended it because she met a guy and wants to give him a chance. While I understand and would've done the same, it just hurts way more than expected
I just need a place to write this down. It's probably going to be long and unstructured, too. But I need to write it down somewhere.
I had a thing with a girl [23] for about 9 months. We live 600km apart and seen each other about every two months (we both travel a lot and have flexible schedules).
I was supposed to see her again but the night before I was about to travel she told me she met a guy and she wants to give him a chance - and it would be weird to hook up with me. While her timing was shitty, I totally get that and I would've done the same. But it hurt so much. She said she obviously doesn't know if this will work out and she would let me know how things turn out with the guy as she already booked flights to visit me in a couple of weeks.
But at this point it's pretty much over for me. When she told me on the phone, I realised that I'm just way too invested emotionally. I knew it would happen at some point that either one us wants to seriously date someone else. But I didn't expect it to be that painful.
We were incredible compatible in bed and I've never opened up to someone as much as I did with her (sexually and emotionally - we could talk about everything and it was incredible how compatible we were). And she was amazing outside of the bedroom, too. We texted quite often. Also about non-sexual things. Although the majority of our texts were very sexual.
I guess I never considered having a relationship with her because she lived so far way. I've dated other girls and even told her about it (she was asking) but never had sex with other girls during that time as those other girls simply couldn't keep up with her.
I sometimes felt I was in an open relationship. I never told her.
But I think I realised that this form of relationship is not for me. I had a lot of time to think about this and spend time with friends and talked about it. I've come to peace with it and I'm not mad at anyone involved or feel stupid for getting emotional. But it still hurts.
I just can't see how it's possible to sleep with someone so frequently without catching feelings. I never had those "omg I need to spend the rest of my life with her feelings" but I still had feelings for her of course. How could I not when two people open up so to each other so much and get intimate so often?
I need distance from her for now. And I also learned that I don't want to enter this kind of relationship anytime soon: Either I date someone properly and we give it a shot, or I leave it. No more in-between stuff. It seems like this is not for me.
Thanks for reading <3
Has anyone experienced something similar? I'm not trying to change and learn how to become good at FWB, it just doesn't suit me I think - and obviously I did it all wrong.
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