Thanks in advance. I've been with my boyfriend since I was 22 and he was 29 (I'll be 24 in the fall) - so, about 1.5 years total. We met at an old job, where neither of us work anymore. He's really great and we've been pretty happy overall. We've been living together for a few months. Friends and family on both sides are supportive.
However, the relationship comes with some issues that I wouldn't have to deal with if I were with someone closer to my age, and I'm not sure how to best approach them. Here are some that I'm particularly concerned about:
Timelines for kids. I would ideally have kids in my early 30s, and he would ideally have them in his mid 30s. Due to the 7-8 year difference, it's not possible to satisfy both of these perfectly. If we compromise, we might have kids around 30/37 or 31/38. I feel a little bad about pushing him into being an "older" father, though. He of course also doesn't want to pressure me into having kids before I'm ready. I know this will be far into the future, but I feel like due to the age difference I need to plan this kind of stuff now, which is a bit stressful. If I were with someone closer to my age I probably wouldn't even have it on my radar (but who knows for sure).
Friend groups being in different life stages. His friends are ALL engaged/recently married, and most of mine aren't even in serious relationships. His friends are buying houses, thinking about/having kids, etc., whereas mine are travelling and unsure where they want to be in a few years. As a result, I feel kind of "young" and out of place when I'm with them. I feel like I might be being judged for being young, even though this is probably not the case. Occasionally he feels old being around my friends, but for the most part I think he's okay, because he's not quite ready for marriage/etc. yet either. I will just say that I'm not a partier or anything; I'm more of a homebody, and my friends are similar. I wish I could feel more connected with his group of friends, but it feels like age is a barrier.
As I said, I'm happy with my boyfriend, I like our life together, and I am hoping to make it work long-term. I don't feel like I want to date around/date other people/be single, per se, but I just feel some kind of weird pressure right now. I could really use some advice from people who've been in similar situations! Thank you.
tl;dr: Boyfriend is older than me, age difference bringing up some issues (kids/marriage/life stage differences of peers), advice on how to cope?
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