Husband and I have been married for 6 years, dating since we were older teens. He is a very well off and successful man who owns several businesses. We had plans to move to California later on this year and start a family. I'm afraid our plans are not exactly going to go forward anymore. My husband has a large family. By family I mean siblings. There are 9 of them (1f, 3f, 5m, 8f, 12f, 14m, 14m, 16m, and the oldest is 18f). They're all still babies, so much younger than him. Why his parents decided to have so many I don't know. Now from the way he talks about his parents I can tell he doesn't like them. He's always sent money to his siblings for support and talks to them everyday, I think their relationship is very sweet.
Something, however has recently happened that has our lives turned upside down. The parents are both in jail, and have lost custody. The kids have no one else to go to but their aunt who can't afford to support them on her own, or fostercare, where more than likely they'll be split up. The oldest although technically being an adult is still in high school and can't support herself. My husband sat me down and told me that he's the only one who can care for them, him along with their aunt's help combined. He was near tears, basically telling me that he doesn't want to choose, but they need him, and he can't just turn his back. He told me he doesn't know how long he would be gone, and that it wouldn't be fair of him to just move a whole bunch of kids in with us, so this is what he'd have to do. He told me to think about how I want to move forward, and what the best choice for me would be. He said that whatever happens he won't just leave me without a way, and would still send me money to pay bills and such.
That was last night. He's due to leave on Monday (they are in another state). Its so soon and sudden, and I haven't processed it at all. I'm not mad at him, I understand him wanting to take care of his helpless family, but as selfish as it sounds I feel like he hasn't thought about us. I don't know whether it would be stupid to wait around for him, or if a divorce would be the best thing for us. A long distance marriage seems so painful and lonely, with no type of intimacy. I'm not sure what I should say to him, or what I should decide. How do I even process this ?
tl;dr: Husband is going to be leaving to take care of siblings in another state, leaving me with a tough choice on our marriage. Would waiting around be stupid, or is divorce something that would be best for us?
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