I don’t understand why I get upset at my boyfriend and I’m searching for insight on how I might figure out the root of these feelings or if I’m just crazy to be upset about this.
Our relationship is, in most respects, great. We have plans to move in together this fall, and currently we see each other about 3-4 times a week. We’re in love and have been dating for about a year and a half, and I feel great about our relationship except for this one issue.
My boyfriend has a tendency to invite his friends to do things with us often. Usually it looks something like asking if I’d like to go see a band or movie, and then after I agree, him saying who else he is inviting. I get a little tired of it. It has happened twice in the past week, and I just feel incredibly annoyed. It’s not that I don’t enjoy his friends, they’re wonderful and I usually enjoy spending time with them. But it seems like if my boyfriend plans something, all of them have to be involved. My boyfriend rarely plans dates and while we have one day a week that is a designated “date night”, his plan usually consists of cooking dinner and staying in.
I feel like I co-opt a good portion of our time together with his friends. I know he is very concerned about maintaining his close friendships, so he makes overt efforts to keep these friends connected. He does have a weekly bro night that I am obviously not a part of and wouldn’t suggest he give up. I feel silly bringing this issue up because I don’t want to quit being invited to things, or make it sound like he has to choose between his friends and I - because that’s not how I feel. But I just can’t figure out why I am upset every time this happens. His friends are unfortunately all single and a little younger. His friends also don’t respect our date night and will regularly plan things as a group to do and make my boyfriend choose between us.
TLDR; boyfriend includes friends in a good portion of our time together, I am annoyed by this. What should I do?
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