Sorry this is a little long. A little backstory on me and Harry’s relationship. We are very good friends and have been for 12 years. We used to talk all the time but over the past 6 months Harry has shown me a different side of himself that I have distanced myself from. He can be very selfish, controlling and throw temper tantrums when he doesn’t get his way. He always thinks he is right and thinks everyone else is stupid. We have 2 months left on the lease so I’ve been sucking it up and keeping to myself because I’m very passive and realized that sometimes living with friends is a bad idea. We didn’t start really talking again until recently, when him and his girlfriend were breaking up. They broke up a total of 6 times from March until last week, each time more explosive than the last. He took it hard every time so we would hang and I would try to cheer him up and he wouldn’t be as shitty and everything was okay. The last time they broke up I didn’t want to hear it.... I told him that I’m tired of listening to the same story and that he should just block her number.
My best friend Danielle came over to hang out with me tonight to watch a movie. She has a very loud personality that can sometimes annoy people but she never means any harm. Harry and Danielle have know each other for about 8 years. When Danielle gets to my apartment she got in a little petty argument with my roommate Harry. This usually happens every time she comes over. I usually ignore all of this banter though, because she sends me screenshots of Harry in her DMs implying that he wants to sleep with her.
The argument grows while I sit on the couch and play video games. Harry is about to leave when he tells Danielle to “Shut the fuck up or I’m going to kick you out of here”. She looks at me and ask if she has to leave which I say “No, you don’t have to leave”. Harry explodes at me saying that I’m taking her side and that because he pays rent here he can kick anyone out. I tell him that I also pay rent and he is about to leave for the night anyway. Harry threatens to call the police if she doesn’t leave right now and storms to his room.
I try to go back to calm Harry down and he pulls up his phone to show me messages of him texting someone about him being suicidal. He tells me he can’t deal with this right now and I’m stunned. We have been really good friends for 12 years and nothing like this has ever come up, we have been living together for about 2 years and have had our fair share of arguments but nothing like this has ever come up. I walk away from the door and tell Daniele we are leaving. I text Harry to tell him that I love him and I don’t want anything bad to happen. I apologize for my friends behavior and tell him we would be leaving for 30 min. He flips out and tells me he hates me and says that no one stands up for him ever and that I don’t care about him. He tells me that he is self harming and then sent some over mean things. I texted him I told him I care about him. I start sobbing and shaking because I am so scared for Harry. Danielle reads the text messages because I can’t calm down and goes to knock on his door again. I try to stop her but she closes the door behind her. Danielle has had a tough life and had many struggles with anxiety, depression and suicide thoughts. We both thought we could talk to him and see if he wanted to get him some help.
I hear a lot of screaming, yelling and some thumping. She comes out of the room and says she’s calling the police because Harry assaulted her. I freeze. He comes up to me and starts threatening me and getting in my face. I don’t know what to say or do. They both end up calling the police. Me and Danielle go sit outside to wait for the police to come and I try to comfort her. The police come and I tell them the whole story and so does Danielle. I tell the police about the self harming and suicide text messages I saw. We go to the apartment and Harry tells his side of the story. They start asking him about his mental state he is very open with them. Long story short Danielle said that as long as he gets a psychiatric evaluation she won’t press charges.
His parents came and talked to him and he calmed down. Before they took him to the hospital we hugged and cried he said he was sorry and I told him I loved him. I made sure to console Danielle and we hung out all night. I drove Danielle to her moms house and I went home.
I don’t know how to process last night. I am mad at myself for not keeping it together. I’m really mad at Harry for hitting Danielle and me not being able to protect her. Im sad and upset that she got hurt. I’m upset that I just didn’t leave. I’m sad because I didn’t know Harry was hurting but I don’t think that is a good enough excuse. I’m upset at some of the hurtful things he said to me. I’m anxious because I don’t know what to do next.
TL;DR: my roommate and my best friend got into an argument that led to him admitting his mental health issue and assaulting her. The police were called he was taken for a psychiatric evaluation
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