So, my (36F) wedding is a month away and I need to ask advice from someone that isn't my fiance (37M). I am angry and sad and feel guilty all at once. I have half a mind to cancel my wedding and just elope, but I can't do that to my husband's family. I am really scared I might do something really pretty that I will regret.
About 18 months ago my now fiance proposed to me and I set out planning the wedding. I know that a lot of my friends and family lead busy lives, so I sent out STDs more than a year before the wedding. And then after several months of tracking down RSPVs I realize that only 10 out of the 60 people I invited are able to come.
Okay, its disappointing, but a lot of my cousins and friends have kids and busy lives. It's hard to travel with kids, and I get that. So, I gave my empty slots to my fiance so he could invite more people from his (rather large) family.
My younger sister is pregnant with a due date a month after the wedding. She had insisted that it wouldn't be an issue. But about a week ago we found out she was having complications and that she may have to give birth earlier than expected. She went be able to come to my wedding. Obviously, it will be safer for her to stay home, so I am OK with that. My mother will be staying with her in case something happens.
I’m trying to tell myself that I am alright with this. I am trying to be mature about neither my maid of honor nor my mother not being able to make the wedding. It's not their fault, and her baby’s health is much more important than anything else.
And I thought I was going to be fine, but today I just got an invite for a friend of mine’s (Who said she couldn't make it to my wedding.) son’s birthday party on the day after my wedding. And now I just want to burn everything down.
I am an older bride. (36) In the grand scheme of things I'm not that old, but I am the last person in my friend group and my family's generation to get married. So, I feel old. I went to all my cousins and friends weddings and was a bridesmaid in several of them. Some of the weddings were expensive destination weddings, but I sucked it up and went to those too. Over the years my friends started moving away from my hometown and started having kids. I went to their baby showers and first birthday parties. But now when I finally have a wedding of my own, no one is able to make the time to go to it? I just want to throw them a party and give them free food!
I know that I shouldn't be angry, that relationships aren't transactional and I shouldn't be keeping score. That just because they can’t can’t come to my wedding doesn't mean they don’t don’t love me. But I keep on fantasizing about sending a bill for what I spent on every freaking life event party I attended. I specifically dream about stealing my friend’s kitchenaid that I gave to her as a wedding gift and setting it on fire. I almost want to show up to that birthday party and bring a slice of my wedding cake as a gift.
I am not going to do that, though I might end up posting something really passive aggressive on Facebook that won't make me look good. Or I might end up crying at my own wedding because I'll look out at the guests and see that 90% of them are my husband's and my only bridesmaid is his sister.
How am I going to get through this? I know I just need to get over myself and I don’t know how. I wish there a way I could tell everyone how hurt I feel without seeming petty and a bridezilla. But it is petty.
Tldr: My mother, sister, and it seems, no one else I invited is coming to my wedding. How do I get through the ceremony and reception without becoming bitter and vindictive?
[link] [comments]
from Relationships https://ift.tt/2rHZKcW
No comments:
Post a Comment