Last night we were lying in bed together and I started to drift off to sleep, I was pretty much half asleep when my boyfriend pulled the covers over me, I thought "that's sweet" because he gently rolled me on my side. I was content til I felt him JACKING OFF next to me holding his phone. I just lay there pretending I wasn't aware til I slowly rolled over and "woke up". He stopped and then later on he did it again, literally moved me onto my side so he could watch porn. I rolled back over when I woke up and confronted him and he laughed and was embarrassed and said he was looking at my nudes (despite saying all night he's too tired to fuck or kiss and not being able to finish when we do). He wouldn't open his phone or anything when I asked him to prove it. I just decided to leave it because it's not a crime to jack off I guess. I slept fine and all morning I didn't really care til he left his Safari open and I did something bad and went in his history and found he looked up interracial sex and fucking feet lmao. Now it's bothering me when it didn't last night (I know this is my fault for invading his privacy) because he's always too tired or stoned to properly make love to me, it's not passionate anymore. I do everything for him and I don't watch porn and I was lying next to him naked in our bed.
I guess it hurts because I've recently gained weight and I'm trying to battle an eating disorder and he knows how much I hate my body and feel inferior to literally every other woman there is. now i'm really ((triggered)) and i just want to lose 30lbs and stop being a 5/10
I know it's not his fault that I feel bad but I just needed somewhere to vent. sorry if this is dumb. hope someone at least got a laugh out of this lol
TL;DR; : My boyfriend thought I was asleep so he jacked it to interracial porn and Sasha Grey's feet right next to me in our bed and then lied to me about it.
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