When we started dating about three years ago, my fiancé (who we will call Mark) was an incredibly hard worker. He worked a high stress, physically and mentally demanding job and made really good money. Over time he kept working longer and longer hours, sometimes not getting home until 3 or 4 AM. Due to this, he would sleep in the next day and not go in until 11 or 12 sometimes and his boss seemed okay with that. We were both frustrated with the long hours and he was exhausted but it was okay at the time.
Last summer Mark decided he wanted to start his own business and took a different job to facilitate that. After a few months he got to where he really disliked the new job and would just not show up. After a few months of this and super low income, his old boss (from the high stress-long hours job) asked him to come back and promised fewer long days and better pay, so he agreed. While he was supposed to work fewer hours it ended up being the same old song and dance and his previous behavior of going in late turned into not showing up at all on some days (but still working 40 hours a week usually). His boss finally fired him due to his unreliability.
He was really stressed about this (obviously) so I comforted him and told him not to worry about it, that he would get another job while trying not to freak completely out myself. We had just taken out a business loan (not to mention his old loans, my payments for student loans and credit cards from undergrad, bills for the house, etc.) but I assured him we could pay it (we had pretty good savings). Luckily, he called in a favor with someone he used to work for and got a new job within two weeks of being fired.
Within two weeks of starting his new job he was back to just not going in and going in late. Last week I finally had a breakdown when I had to start dipping into savings to make ends meet. I told him how worried and stressed I was about finances and he apologized and said he didn't know (which I had been trying to keep it to myself as much as I could since he was so upset about being fired). He knows what payments we have and has access to our bank account just like I do. He's also been doing some really financially irresponsible things and spending money we don't have on recreational stuff.
My breaking point to try to get some advice on this was this morning. He went out with friends last night and didn't get home late (went to bed the same time as I did). I got up at 5:30 to work out and get ready for work. I went to get dressed around the time he should have been leaving for work and said "Good morning!" and told him what time it was. He ignored me. He then texted me to ask why I woke him up and that it put him in a bad mood. I'm at a loss. He's missed so much and been late so much at this new job I'm just sure he's going to be fired. I don't know what else to say to him. I've broached the subject of depression (something I've struggled with) due to him sleeping until 1-2 PM. Our savings are being depleted, I'm so stressed I can barely function and I am at a total loss. Financial stuff is an anxiety trigger for him so it's hard to discuss it (even when we aren't broke) without him becoming really stressed out.
TL;DR - Fiancé suddenly stops going to work. What do I do?
[link] [comments]
from Relationships https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/8l0veb/my_26f_fiancé_26m_of_three_years_isnt_going_to/
No comments:
Post a Comment