Husband and her have been friends for 5 years, they used to work together, and despite that she is good friends with other people in our friend group she and I have not spoken much. Not for lack of trying, I’m rather social and like talking to people. Any time I would see her at a big event or work thing I would walk up to her, say hi, ask her how she was doing, and most of the time she would act like she was uncomfortable with me so I usually wouldn’t say much after that. Sometimes I would just wave if she seemed extra antisocial that day. I didn’t take it too personally then since some people are really introverted and I accept that.
What’s been bothering me is that she doesn’t seem that introverted with other people, like my husband, or our mutual friends. When she found out that husband, another friend she also knows, and I all have brunch every other month together, she begged to being invited but then asked I not be there. She didn’t give husband a reason beside she just wanted it to be comfortable with people she knew well. So I got replaced at brunch. Husband tells me her life is sad and that I shouldn’t be upset that she doesn’t feel comfortable around me, because it’s her problem and not mine. It’s not just brunch though, it’s dinner and lunch too. Yesterday I was looking forward to going out to dinner at this fancy restaurant this weekend with husband and a couple of friends, today I was told I was disinvited because she doesn’t want me there. My husband said he was sorry and that he’ll take me to the same restaurant next week so I can still try it. Also, I don’t really want to go to the restaurant anymore because now it reminds me of feeling excluded, which I hate because tbh I didn’t have a lot of friends growing up, feeling rejected was basically my whole childhood. My husband knows this, which is why he has been overly lovey since telling me I wouldn’t be attending dinner. His special attention doesn’t make me feel better about it though, sadly.
Tl;dr: husband’s friend asks my husband not to bring me to events she attends, I don’t know why she doesn’t feel comfortable around me, I get disinvited to things I look forward to and feel sad, probably a bit bitter, I don’t want to feel bad about this anymore, not sure how to handle this without upsetting people
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