We used to beat the living hell out of each other. Our home was not a healthy environment, drunk dad and addict mom who were verbally/physically abusive meant we had a lot of anger to take out on each other. My brother and I would literally get into physical fights between when we were like 11 - 15. I once hit him with a piece of wood hard enough to break his nose. He broke a piece of wood against my leg, though it was falling apart. I also stabbed him with a broken fluorescent tube, well I tried and cut him badly. So it wasn't for a lack of trying.
The funny thing is we were and still are very, very close. It's just the home we grew up in was the perfect environment for two angry kids to try to beat each other to kingdom come due to not being able to take our anger out on our parents.
My parents are both sober now and in therapy. They have been for some years. My brother and I have a good relationship and frequently joke about our fights when we were younger. I wound up telling my boyfriend of 7 months about this when he mentioned that he'd fight with his brother when they were younger. He was shocked and incredibly angry.
He didn't think what my brother did was appropriate. I pointed out that I gave as good as I got. However he was completely off in his own world fuming about this and started asking if my brother ever forced himself on me and telling me I didn't need to hide anything. I thought I finally talked him off the crazy train.
My brother currently works as a bartender while sending out resumes. My boyfriend and a couple friends waited for him outside work a couple times though those times my brother got a ride with his bouncer friend. The dude is like 6 and a half feet and built like the terminator so nothing happened. My brother noticed my boyfriend glaring at him but didn't really think anything much of it.
The other day my boyfriend and his friends attacked my brother and a friend outside a bar. The fight was quickly separated but I got my phone blown up with phone calls from my brother asking WTF was up with my boyfriend?
I'm furious now. However my boyfriend said they'd been drinking and it was a one time thing. It won't happen again and he said the couple times they showed up at my brother's job was just them being really stupid and not thinking.
My mother, father and our older sister have all told me to dump my boyfriend. My brother told me not to expect him to be civil at all and that he doesn't want to see my moron of a boyfriend anywhere near our home. I'm torn about what I should do. My boyfriend himself comes from a problem home and has had a rough life. I think he genuinely made some really bad judgement calls and seems to realize how much he messed up. The problem is my family won't give him another chance.
What's the best way of dealing with this?
TL;DR boyfriend found out my brother and I used to fight a lot, tried to teach my brother a lesson and now my family wants me to dump him
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