Boyfriend [40/m] can’t stand me [26/f] not telling my strict dad about him yet

Hey guys,

I’ve posted here before but need some extra guidance. My dad is extremely strict and comes from a Muslim background. He doesn’t let me date or see my friends ever. I have followed his rules all these years (secretly dated guys of course ) but now I truly think I have found the one and i want to tell my dad about him but I’m absolutely terrified to do so. He has made it very clear that I must not date until I get my masters (I just started it now). My boyfriend is fed up of sneaking around and so am I. I want to be with him and live with him more than anything and it kills him to not be part of the family. I have found a way to tell my dad and it will be with a detailed letter stating how I’ve followed his rules and did everything to make him proud and now it’s my turn to live my life and be happy. I know if I tell him in person he will just scream and i will cry and not remember anything I wanted to say. How should I give him the letter? Should I leave it on his desk one day and go to school? Or should I let him read it Infront of me? Also, my boyfriend seems to think I don’t want to tell my dad and that I’m just playing games with him ( I’ve been with him for over a year) and he knows how scared I am to do it. But I’m actually doing it and he still doesn’t believe me. How do I calm him down and reassure him I’m doing this for real ? Ps. My mom knows my boyfriend and loves him. She is too scared to even confront my dad with anything . She lives her life through secrets as well.

Just to let you guys know, my dad doesn’t even let me go for a bike ride by myself , neither take the metro! I’m not telling him because of my boyfriend , I’m doing this for myself so I can have a life as a normal 26 year old woman who can balance school and a boyfriend.

TLDR: dad is very strict and boyfriend doesn’t believe I will ever tell him about him. How do I reassure him it’s really going to happen? Going to write a letter to my dad explaining everything.

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