When I met my wife (5 years ago) she had recently finished a master's degree in computer science and she had been working in a pretty advanced field. We married and had a baby, she devoted herself to the full-time mom life and enjoyed it.
Our daughter is now almost 4 years old and my wife was thinking about arranging things so that she could work in her field again and resume her career. She has been very conflicted about this, she said that she's letting people down no matter what she does, and she is going to feel guilty either way. She secured a position pretty easily. But at just the time when she was almost fully decided to take this position, she found out that she is pregnant. Even though she was taking the birth control pill (what are the odds of that???) at the time.
She told me that she turned down the job offer and has basically accepted that she's a mom and wife and that her career is something that isn't happening, at least not now. That night she cried to me and told me that she loves being a mom and being my wife but that this is like her dream and aspirations dying as well.
She was always so talented and intelligent, she went to college with a full ride academic scholarship, she is a brilliant person (much more talented and smart than I am). So she feels like she's letting people down who expected her to be a "success story" as her teachers and family were always so proud of her intelligence and academic aptitude. She seems happier now that she accepted her life as being primarily a mother and wife, at least for the foreseeable future. But I feel really guilty as her husband. I just don't know what to do and if there is anything I can do. Is there something I should be doing here?
I try to be a great husband and father, I make more than enough to give a very comfortable life to my wife and children, and I am there for them as much as I can be. But anything a husband can do in this situation?
tl:dr My wife is talented and intelligent, has an advanced degree in a computer science field but put her career on hold to get married, have a baby, and be a full time mother. She planned on returning to her career and had a position secured, but accidentally got pregnant and so turned down the position and resigned herself to being only a wife and mother. She is sad and grieving about this but is also conflicted. I want to know if there's something I am doing wrong, should be doing, etc.
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