I am having a harder than usual time getting over a break up. It was my fault. I’d been dating this guy off/on for 3 years and although we weren’t perfect I loved him. He wanted to take a break this winter and I didn’t but we did anyway and of course during that ‘break’ I meet an amazing guy [M29]. I figured, well, why not try going on a date with him? We went on one, just as friends getting to know each other and he spoke to me and treated me better than I’ve ever been treated by a man. He was respectful and a gentleman. So, now the time comes when my boyfriend wants to get back together. I’m ecstatic but also have a feeling of hesitance. I tell him maybe we are better as friends and he agrees but still asks if we can have sex. I say I don’t know and get kind of angry. I then tell the other guy, I’d like to try dating him and all the sudden he’s not about it and does a 180 in his behavior. I feel like I made the biggest mistake of my life telling my boyfriend I just wanted to be friends. I thought the grass would be greener but it is not at all. I go to sleep with and wake up with regret every single day. He won’t talk to me anymore. Blocked my phone number. I feel lost and so fucking sad. I don’t know what to do.
TL;DR: boyfriend wanted a break. took a break. met another guy. boyfriend wants to get back together. I tell him maybe we shouldn’t. I regret it more than I’ve ever regretted anything. How do I not hate myself for this?
Thanks for reading.
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