Long story short: been dating for a year, exclusively long distance relationship. Never met in person. The distance wore on me and I eventually fell for someone in real life who is a much better fit (namely no gigantic age gap or living 2000 miles away). I see absolutely no future with current BF.
So I have been seeing new guy a bit and current BF and I have basically barely spoken. I've tried breaking up with him several times, but each time, he becomes utterly beside himself - crying, talking about panic attacks/nightmares, unable to function, etc. He was previously utterly devoted to me (when we met, he fell for me and began professing his love within 3 days). That is a primary reason I stayed even when I knew the relationship was unfulfilling.
What should I do? I'm tempted to just lay out "I don't love you now and I have fallen for a different man," but I don't want to utterly destroy him - he has little going on besides whoever he is dating, I've discovered, and that might genuinely ruin his life. But I know that if I keep easing into it, I'll just get sucked back in. Does anyone have ideas for a tactful way to do this?
TL;DR: Trying to break off an unfulfilling long-distance relationship without ruining his life. Any tips?
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