So at the tail end of last year, my Dad called me and asked if we could meet up as he had something important we needed to discuss. We live a couple of hours apart, so naturally I was super worried. He’s a pretty upfront person and he’s never been like this about anything.
I agree to drive down in a few days. The day comes and we meet at my grandparents house. My grandparents brought me up from ages 13-21, as my mum moved 200 miles away with her new husband, my half sister and my (at the time) full blood brother when my parents originally split up. My brother is there as well, who’s now 21. We were brought up as brothers, always believing my dad and mum to be our parents.
My dad tells me that when before I was born, he suspected my mum was cheating on me. He found a letter from her old boss detailing their relationship, and how her old boss ‘misses her body’ and wanted her to run away with him. My dad explained that he loved me to pieces and I was always his son no matter what, but that every day of his life since I was born he’s questioned whether or not I was his. He explained that my mums cheating was always prevalent for the following 9 years that they were together, and that he was unsure about my brothers true parentage too, as a result of this. My dad asked us if we’d be willing to do a paternity test - he’d already ordered a kit at great expense, and we could do it there and then. I was fully supportive, this was something that had clearly effected my dad for as long as I’ve lived. I wanted him to get closure over this. We did the mouth swabs (it was pretty funny at the time), he sealed the kit and stuck it in the post.
A week later my dad called me with the results. My brother was a 100% match (which was a complete surprise to him - they have never been very close) and I was a 0% match. He told me that nothing changes, I’m his son no matter what and he’ll always love and support me. He just had to find out the truth. No worries pa, big respect. We’ve always been super close. We have the same interests and my personality is a total mirror of his. I knew that nothing would change.
I called my mum with to confront her about this. I told her that my dad was worried that I wasn’t his son, and that he’d suspected her of cheating on him whilst they were together. My mum told me that my dad was always super paranoid and controlling of her, used to beat her and never let her leave the house. She told me he was borderline insane and that I couldn’t trust anything he said, as it would all be lies in an attempt to make her look bad. I asked her if she was absolutely 100% certain that she’d never cheated on him. She told me she’d never even looked at another man, and that I was silly for even bringing this up with her. My response was simply, “then why has our paternity test come back negative?”.
She began to backtrack on everything she’d said. I asked her who my real father was and she told me she won’t tell me, and that it was a one time thing. I asked her how she expected me to believe anything she was saying after lying through her teeth - to which she replied with a barrage of insults towards my ‘insane’ dad. That was 6 months ago and it was the last time we’ve spoke on the phone.
I visited my aunt (mums sister). We’ve always had a great relationship. She never had kids herself, and I was always the one she’d spoil like her own. I’ve always popped round to do odd jobs for her like fitting her internet and setting up her laptops and phones, bless her. I told her about what had happened and she told me everyone had always questioned who my real dad actually was, and that she was heartbroken for me that it had gone down like this. I asked her about my mums accusations of possessiveness and beatings - she told me it was nonsense. My dad was working 2 jobs to support the family when I was born, paid for the house and all the bills, bought my mum a car and paid for her insurance. Supposedly, my dad treated her like a queen, and she never needed anything. Her only responsibility in the house was to keep the fridge stocked. My aunt always suspected my mum was fooling around on my dad, as she was always very specific about calling ahead before visiting. She’d get very upset with people who showed up on her doorstep.
I sent a long text (probably not the best way to do it) to my mum telling her everything id learned about her past - how she was a liar and a cheat, and that I don’t want a relationship with her out of respect for the family that brought me up properly. We were always close, but she tried to treat me like an idiot and lie to me about everything, with her defence mechanism being to slander my dad and make false accusations against him.
There’s a lot more to this story that points to my mum being super crazy but I feel like I’ve rambled on enough. As it stands now, my mums birthday is in 2 days and I’ve not spoke to her since January. She sent me cards for my birthday but I chucked them in the bin. Other than that she’s made no attempt to get in touch. I’m disgusted by her. It seems like she just wanted to ‘have her cake and eat it’ when she was with my dad. Meanwhile, my dad and I have a stronger relationship than ever. He wants some sort of ‘revenge’ for it but he’s not sure what to do. He’s tempted to try and take her to court for paternity fraud but he’s not sure how to approach it. I have no interest in who my real dad is. We are fairly certain it’s the man from the letter. We tracked down his family home, turns out he had already had 4 children when he’d met my mum, and was married at the time they were cheating together. He’s still married to the same woman today. My dad and I have been tempted to show up on their doorstep and drop the truth on them all, but maybe that’s being silly.
I just don’t know what to do, really.
TLDR: mum was cheating on my dad for years. Turns out I’m not his son. She tried to lie to me about everything (despite a paternity test). Accused Dad of beating her and locking her in the house which was confirmed to be a load of bollocks. Dad and I don’t know what to do for closure.
[link] [comments]
from Relationships https://ift.tt/2rv6wTj
No comments:
Post a Comment