She was the most perfect, angelic soul I have ever met and I have never been with somebody with whom I was more compatible.
Yet for some reason every time she mentioned a life together, children, marriage, even just moving in, I got intensely nervous and anxious and kicked the can down the road for “when I feel ready.” The only problem is that it’s been over a year since we first started having these discussions, and I simply had not felt any nearer to making that commitment than I did at the beginning.
Rather than waste her time and rather than having to live with this tremendous guilt of dragging along such a beautiful and honest and caring person, I broke up with her yesterday. I felt like she deserves to find somebody who doesn’t have doubts, who is ready to commit, and I didn’t know when or if I’d ever reach the point that we needed me to reach to begin a lifelong commitment.
One day later, I deeply miss her and regret my decision. But I’ve been feeling so consistently sure that I wasn’t ready to commit for so many months now, I felt trapped! Like I had no other choice! And now I’m alone and I feel like I gave up a relationship with an incredible human being. I just don’t know what to do with myself right now and it’s taking every ounce of me not to text her and tell her I love her and miss her.
TL;DR for the past year whenever she posed the question of moving in or getting married or being together forever, I kicked the can down the road because it didn’t feel right in my gut. she brought it up again yesterday and I decided to end it because I didn’t want to waste any more of her time. I feel like I screwed up and I miss her so much.
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from Relationships https://ift.tt/2wLcdCa
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