Let's try to post this again, hopefully formatted correctly this time.
I met a guy on a dating app last June and we started talking. He lived in the next state but was often in my state for work. Because I knew it wouldn't go far, I kept it to just friends and we developed a good friendship, talking on and off but never meeting. Finally in October we met up for the first time and hit it off right away. We did have sex and I expected it to be a FWB situation, but we ended up closer and closer and it started getting serious. Finally we discussed it and agreed it was going somewhere, and we became exclusive. He was always sweet and always insisting that he cared deeply for me and wanted it to go "much,much further."
A few weeks ago we made plans for me to drive up to see him over a long weekend, and I was supposed to leave on this past Friday. Now we both knew that because of work, it was possible the plans could fall through last minute (his job sometimes got him stuck out of his hometown for the weekend) so I was not surprised when he texted me Friday morning and said he couldn't meet up this weekend. Disappointed, but not surprised. I asked him to call me and he said hold on. No call.
I texted him a few more times through the day with growing annoyance. I had put a lot of planning into this weekend and his birthday was in a few weeks and I was planning to give him a gift and bake a cake. I was thinking of telling him I loved him. I was not mad it fell through but I WAS mad that he was not calling. Finally Friday night I asked if he was ok, injured, dead? He replied he wasn't dead and I said can you call me please? He said, again, "give me a few minutes."
Again, no call. I texted him again asking him to please call soon cause I had to be in bed because I had an early morning. No call. I texted him fine, goodnight.
No message in the morning. I tried to call again. I txted. I called a couple of times that day and texted throughout. Now I was starting to worry. Was he ok? Injured? Nothing on Saturday. Tried to call him Sunday, now afraid I was being ghosted because the phone was ringing the full amount of time. So the phone was on, charged. I cried into his voicemail asking him to call me, confused why he wasn't. What did I do wrong?
Today monday I sent him another text saying I wasn't sure what happened, or why I was being ignored. That I thought I deserved more than this. That I hoped he was safe and okay and there was a good reason other than abject cruelty. Cried all day,absolutely useless at work today. Finally I asked an out of state friend to call. And lo and behold, my missing boyfriend answered.
I was livid. I called again. No answer. Called again. No answer. I left angry voicemails calling him a coward and didn't I mean more to him than this? I texted him, swore, called names. I am not proud of my outburst but I was so hurt and ashamed and angry. I finally left a final voicemail, sobbing, of course, asking why he did this to me. To please explain himself, if he ever cared about me at all at least explain himself.
Of course, no reply. I don't know what happened. He was so sweet while we were together. Almost perfect. I never saw this coming, we talked on Thursday and things were fine. I feel rejected and stupid and unloveable and alone. I feel like I can never trust anybody again. I regret my outburst. I regret everything.
I just had to explain it, get it off my chest. I have cried so hard my head hurts. I don't think I have ever felt so heartbroken as I do right now. I know there there may be no actual advice to give but I had to talk about it or I'd go crazy. Are there signs I should have seen? I don't know what I did wrong. I don't know what to do. Should I do anything? There's a crazy part of me wanting to reattempt contact in a few weeks when things have cooled down but the logical part of my brain says no. What do I even do if he ever does contact me again? I want to believe he meant it when he said he cared about me but who does this to people they care about? How do you even get over something like this. I feel like I can never trust again. I've been cheated on and this feels way worse.
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TL;DR;: I got ghosted by my boyfriend of 6 months with no warning
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