Hi Reddit,
This is my first Reddit post as I have been getting a lot of help by reading posts though.
As you see the subject, I am going to tell my date that I should stop seeing him in a romantic way.
We’ve been seeing each other for one and a half year and we likes each other a lot. At the time we met each other, he just got out of his 4 years relationship and moved into a new apartment alone. Me, at that time I was lonely and unsatisfied with my dating life as here - where I am staying as an foreigner - dating culture is quite different than other countries and people loves their freedom. I let my 2 dates away as they said they were not looking for anything deeper level than just casual dating.
For one and a half year, we shared many things, had many great time together, we like each other more and more. He is special to me. When I am with him I feel emotionally and sexually so comfortable. He said I am his very special friend and he cares about me a lot. He introduced me to his friends and close family and I really get along well with his mom. He is a great man mentally physically healthy and very gentle and enthusiastic about his work and he would be there when I need him…But he doesn’t want to be in a relationship.
A couple of month after we started to sleep we had some conversation and he also said he isn’t looking for the relationship. It is his first time ever to live himself alone and he wants to enjoy his freedom. His last girlfriend was so dominant and he had to say sorry to her every time to do what he wants and stuffs, and he said he can’t live with someone anymore because many things annoy him. I felt he doesn’t fully open it up to me not giving me details of what exactly happened otherwise he just doesn’t want to say it anymore, but I have a feeling that he got really hurt while his last relationship broke up and he got damaged a lot from this whole relationship things.
We had this conversation 3~4 times more and we had one a few days ago too. He said he can’t live with some anymore and he loves freedom. When I asked he answered me that he doesn’t intend to see anyone else and he said he didn’t hook up with anyone but he just doesn’t want to promise me anything, he wants to keep his freedom to whatever he wants to do. I said it doesn’t necessarily to live together to become exclusive he said I got the point. I am far from dominant, I never try to manipulate my boyfriends what they are doing and he also said I am the most chill person he met.. so I think it is not pair of him not try anything with me.
What I want is just be a just normal girlfriend. I don’t want to get married in life. But of course I want to live with someone I love in the end. But I don’t necessarily need to together unless both want and be ready and at the moment I am totally okay as I am not the stage of even thinking of living together because I love where I live, I like what I am, I just like being myself as well. That is something more higher level that I don’t want to reach in the near future. But I just want to be in a proper girl/boyfriends relationship that we both agree to see each other only, go on a holiday together etc.
So many details are skipped. I like him a lot, we click perfect and I wish this goes to long term but we want different thing. Most of time I feel okay I even think let’s just focus and enjoy my own life independently with or without him and just have good time when we are together, and then someday when he changes his mind we could be together. But sometimes when my imaginary thought of him might hook up with someone hits me hard and I don’t think it is a happy thing to feel for myself. So I decided to move on…
Thanks for reading..
TL;DR : I am going to tell my date I need to stop seeing him in a romantic way as because he doesn't want to be exclusive nor in a relationship and he won't change his mind. Even though I am okay most of time it hits me when I feel lonely or insecure.
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from Relationships https://ift.tt/2rIJsBt
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