We've been together for 10 years, in an open relationship for 8 of those. From the very beginning we've had two rules: we can't spend more nights elsewhere than at home (never even came close to violating this), and we can veto a date, no questions asked. This second rule we have never actually had to implement. I've never felt the need to veto one of her partners, and vice versa. Until now.
My wife recently reconnected with an old friend. They've been hanging out a lot, both alone and with me. He's a nice enough guy and they're really good friends.
My wife brought up the possibility of sleeping with him. He knows about our relationship and expressed interest. I can't fully explain why, but this bothered me for the first time ever. I told her no, I didn't want her sleeping with him. She accepted this but a few days later asked me why. I told her to the best of my ability why it bothered me and she wasn't super thrilled about my answer. We got into a bit of a fight about it but eventually (I thought) came to the agreement that fighting over this wasn't worth it and we need to respect one another's wishes.
Since then, though, things have been weird. She hasn't been as affectionate and has been more irritable. Then a few nights ago we went out and I had planned to go home with someone else. I was talking with a girl and my wife just came up to me and told me we needed to go home. I did, no complaints, but as the night went on it kinda seemed to me like it was some sort of retaliation for me saying no to her friend.
I've asked her if she's upset and she always starts out with no but then launches in to an "I just think..." justification. This whole issue is really worrying me. We've never had any problems and it bothers me that this guy is causing such an upset. What do I do?
TL;DR: I vetoed my wife sleeping with another guy and she's been in a weird mood ever since. I don't know what to do.
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