Sorry for formatting--on mobile. I've been with Tom for a year. Prior to me he was single for 2 years after the demise of a 7-year relationship he had with Jane. Jane and Tom had a really dysfunctional relationship. They dated for like 6 months before she moved cross-country to move-in with him. He says a lot of things frustrated him -- she adopted 12 pets over the course of a year and some of them died because she forgot to feed them; she left him waiting for him outside for a few hours because she forgot to pick him up, etc. Six years in, she was diagnosed with ADHD and depression. According to Tom, she was extremely resentful of all his frustrations directed at her forgetfulness because it turned out she had ADHD the whole time. Ultimately he found out that she was sleeping with another guy secretly. They went to couples therapy but 6 months later he found out she was still sleeping with/seeing the other guy, and that's how everything ended.
Fast forward to now. She posted a GoFundMe on Facebook and publicly, stating she needs money to move cross-country, back home because she is nearly homeless and extremely depressed. She mentions twice that part of it because she had an abusive partner; she has PTSD and depression. It is not hard to figure out who she is talking about.
Obviously I have no idea what to make of this or who to talk to about it. I asked him directly why she would say such a thing and he gave an answer that was honest (I think). He was frustrated with this situation but doesn't want to do anything about it because he just wants it to "go away." This conversation happened yesterday and lasted a few hours. He was understanding about why I asked and was fearful that I would be afraid of him, because he can't really defend himself in this situation because I wasn't there for their relationship and have never met Jane.
Any tips? Should I try to have a genuine conversation with her about what she might be talking about? I feel the word "Abusive" and "Abuse" is a very specific, loaded term with legal implications and feel it's important for myself to know why a woman who was in a relationship with him for 7 years would say something like that.
TL;DR: current BF's ex-GF posted online that he was an abusive partner. Have no idea what to do.
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