I have been dating my bf for a year and a half. He's a great guy, very attractive, funny, smart, affectionate, etc. I love him so much and I love spending time with him.
My bf has a very busy work schedule, usually about 50 hours per week plus paperwork on the weekends that he has to turn in by Monday morning. My bf could do the paperwork before the weekend, but chooses not to because after a 10 hour day he is tired and wants to relax. This has become an issue for me recently as his paperwork is very time consuming and I usually have things planned for us on the weekend.This weekend is my med school graduation and obviously he plans on being there. Last weekend he came with me to my friend's wedding, the weekend before that he helped me look at apartments a few hours away from where we currently live, and next weekend my dad planned a beach trip.
He told me last night he has no interest in coming to the beach with me and my dad (plus my sister and her fiance). He told me he wants a weekend where he's not cramming paperwork in and can just veg out. I said that he should just do a little bit of paperwork every night during the work so it's more manageable for him on the weekend. He did not take this well.
The expression of his face changed, he went from looking wiped from work to pissed off. He said, "babe, you have never had a fucking job in your life, don't tell me how to plan my fucking week." I was taken back, he had NEVER cursed or even raised his voice at me before. Then he began a f-bomb laced tirade about "wasting time" at "dumb fucking weddings" or having to pretend to enjoy spending time with my "fucking annoying and uninteresting friends".
So I asked him, instead of going to the beach with my dad, sister & her fiance, and me...what would he do with his weekend aside from his paperwork? He bluntly said, "smoke weed and watch baseball" and that it would be much more enjoyable to him than the beach with my family and I. He then said he feels pressured by me to cram all his work in so he can attend things with me because he knows I'll be upset with him if he didn't come.
I do not really know if I pressure him or not, I just love spending time with him, so I want him around. And it's true I would be disappointed if he didn't join me for important things like weddings or vacations, though I know work stresses him out because he's so busy. At the same time, I'm a little offended he'd rather get high and watch TV than come to the beach with me and my family.
Am I asking too much of him?
TL;DR: Boyfriend has 50 hour work week plus paperwork on weekends. I usually have plans for us on the weekend and suggested he get more paperwork done during the week. He flipped at me and said I pressure him to cram his work in because he thinks I'll be upset with him if he didn't do things with me.
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