For most of our marriage my wife suffered from untreated PTSD which made our relationship and family subject to wild mood swings, outburst etc.
A little over a year ago I told her I couldn't subject the kids to this model of a family anymore and wanted her to get help or we would be separating.
She very reluctantly got help and completely turned herself around. The transformation from raging mad woman to self-aware, composed adult was amazing.
That was about a year ago. Recently she's started hiding her phone when I'm around and has questioned me about cheating several times (I'm not and have never even come remotely close). Today she was emailing me and told me she sensed something was wrong and I had 2 weeks to either talk out what had been bothering me or she would file for divorce.
I reluctantly told her what everything that bothered me about our relationship. Only because she demanded full, raw feelings. She spends the summers lounging at the pool and shopping while I work 50+ hr weeks. She's at least 100lbs overweight which affects many aspects of our relationship including her health. She isolates our family and kids by pushing away any friendships and being hostile toward having anyone over to our home. Despite our kids getting older and needing minimal supervision, she has no career, volunteer, or education plans. Her only plan is to go from her 12-hr per week job to 18hours per week or about $10-12k per year total.
None of these things were said with malice, just that I was concerned and these things affected my mood sometimes.
She immediately said we were through. That's it.
I asked if she had found someone else because of how quickly she decided to split and she said no.
Does it sound like she has found someone else? Why would someone so faithful for 20 years suddenly extract every little thing id like to change in our relationship then use it against me to say she wants to split?
TL;DR: wife was unstable but devoted for 20 years. Gets treated and now wants to split. It feels like there is an outside influence affecting her. Or have others seen similar patterns?
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