I love my mother more than myself, she's everything to me. But lately I started feeling like she's smothering me with her love. Don't get me wrong I understand perfectly that she's constantly worried about me (Is he okay? Is he happy? Is he safe? Is he protecting himself...) But I'm getting a little bit tired of some of her concerns.
Like when I was 17 and I wanted to learn how to drive she told me I'll drive when I'm 30 (she doesn't want me to get in an accident), I can't tell her about my relationships (I was in a serious one in which my ex wanted to talk to her but I couldn't. My ex ended up thinking that I'm avoiding their meeting because she doesn't mean that much to me) she's always telling me not to do drugs not to drink , don't go out late don't do this don't do that.
I'm currently studying in a different city (I had to put her in the spot to accomplish this because she was against it and she still tells me that it would've been better if I stayed) and she calls me at least 2-3 times during the day plus facetimes me at night (to see if i'm in party).
Last week, I was feeling a bit down (which is normal right??) while facetiming her and I talked about getting a haircut she thought I was depressed and had self harm thoughts. My father ended up calling me telling me to avoid telling her anything like that ever again because it made her sad.
I don't know what to do, she's too sensitive so I can't even talk to her about it (she'll understand it as if I hate her and don't want her interfering in my life) I feel like it making me weak, I've been this way my whole life and it made me full of insecurities.
I just want her to understand that I love her so much but that I'm a grown man and i'm capable of doing everything put to me perfectly. Because I feel like her love is affecting me deeply and sometimes I catch myself doing the same kind of neediness in my relationships.
How should I approach this? I'm totally lost and I really need some advice. Please don't tell me to walk away or something like that because my mother is my everything.
TL;DR : My mother is terrified of losing me and still sees me as a baby, how can I show her that I'm an adult without hurting her feelins since she's so sensitive.
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