My [23F] best friend [24F] demoted me from Maid of Honor to wedding guest to promote my close college friend [23F] instead on the insistence of the groom [24M]. Am I wrong to feel upset?

The relationships of everyone in this post with each other can be confusing, so I'll summarize those first:

• I [23F] have been best friends with the bride, Sarah [24F] since high school.
• I have been close friends with the new Maid of Honor, Carly [23F] throughout college.
• The groom, Andrew [24M] has been a close friend of mine since high school. According to the best man, he used to have a huge crush on me before I encouraged him to go on a date with Sarah. This was before he began to exhibit some concerning behavior (to be addressed later in the post).
• The best man, Tom [23M] is currently dating Carly and is Andrew's best friend. I introduced Carly and Tom to each other last summer.

I hope all of that makes sense! I know it sounds like the beginning of a high school drama (with the way this is all going, I'm starting to wonder if we're stuck in one).

Sarah asked me to be her Maid of Honor a day or two after she and Andrew became engaged. I was absolutely honored (heh) to accept and helped organize her wedding planning (mostly making sure that her various plans and dreams were filed correctly in the "wedding file drawer" and that she wasn't going too crazy with her budget/what she wanted to do). From the moment she asked, however, Andrew has been against me being the MOH. Why? He says it's because he doesn't want Tom to walk down the aisle with anyone other than Carly. It's "so they match" and "because it makes sense."

When Sarah and I both suggested that Tim can walk Carly down and I can walk alone, he vehemently refused to allow that as well, because I am single and it would "make the wedding party look lopsided." Andrew does have plenty other close friends who can serve as groomsmen, but he is absolutely stubborn when it comes to wanting couples specifically to walk down the aisle together. In his eyes, because I am single, I will make whatever groomsmen walking down with me feel awkward and if I were to walk alone, the wedding party would be lopsided. Therefore, I should just be a wedding guest and be happy for him and Sarah.

Sarah held out for a while, but it seems she's given into pressure. She messaged me about two hours ago on Facebook saying that she is so sorry but it hurts her to see Andrew so upset, so she is demoting me from the wedding party entirely and giving MOH to Carly. However, she will keep me as "backup MOH" in case something were to happen to Carly. An hour later, Carly messaged me very angrily saying that she DOES NOT want to be MOH. She does not know Sarah as well as I do and believes that MOH should go to either myself or any one of Sarah's family members (I have no idea what's happening with the family). She does not blame me for this happening to her, but she wants me to tell the other three to back off because they are not listening to her. And about half an hour ago, I received some more messages from Sarah in addition to messages from both Andrew and Tom begging me to reason with Carly and convince her to accept MOH.

I am absolutely tangled in so much drama, I am genuinely wondering if we're all back in high school. I definitely wish I can back out of this, but I also want to be there for Sarah and Carly, who have been with me at my lowest. I've made a two lists of reasons pertaining to this situation that I will also share here, in case it helps everyone put things into perspective.

Reasons why I SHOULDN'T/CAN'T "reason with" Carly:

• Sarah is my best friend, but that does not make my friendship with Carly any less in my eyes. If Carly wishes to refuse MOH, then why make her do it? She would likely be miserable.
• On principle, I am quite disgusted with Andrew's (and to some extent, Tom's) behavior. Talk about groomzilla! This is not the first time he's been controlling with Sarah, but this IS one of the worst times I've ever seen.
• Carly doesn't know Sarah will enough, despite dating Andrew's best friend. Double dates are few and far in between because Carly is in grad school and research lab all day for most days.
• They're all adults. They should sort out their drama themselves.
• I may want to stay the heck away from this mess, but I still want to be MOH, despite everything. I know, I am kind of pathetic.

Reasons why I SHOULD reason with Carly:

• Sarah is extremely upset. Her messages have increased in frequency and in panic. The word "please" is coming up a lot as well (more than usual).
• Sarah is my best friend. I should be there for her and help her in any way I can. But I don't want to jeopardize my friendship with Carly either (see reason 1 above).
• It is Sarah's and Andrew's big day, and it is both of their choices on who makes up the bridal party.
• Carly and Tom do indeed look much more suitable as a couple than myself and Tom.
• I can help Carly fill in any gaps she has with knowing Sarah.

I have not messaged any of them back because I want to get all my ducks in a row before I take any further steps. Obviously, the things I can't do include magically getting a boy or girlfriend in time for the wedding (I would find that to be a very odd request anyways).

I am also worried that because both Andrew and Tom are so insistent on making Carly MOH that I have somehow compromised our friendship in some way without knowing. Both have gone on-record with their girlfriends telling them both that I was the biggest threat to their relationships after I came out as bi with girl preference (they're apparently convinced that I am in love with both women and want to steal them), but both women have brushed it off as them being ridiculous and possessive. Not only is this wrong (I am actually casually flirting with a guy from my school at the moment), but this upsets me quite a bit, as after 8 years of friendship with both Tom and Andrew, I am nothing more than a threat to their relationships? This might also be a contributing factor as to why I am feeling so apprehensive and indecisive about this entire situation.

Sorry for it being so long. I'm also feeling very anxious and stressed about this situation in general. It really does sound like some high school drama, doesn't it? Any thoughts?

tl;dr My best friend demoted me from MOH to wedding guest after facing heavy pressure from her groom. The newly chosen MOH doesn't want to be the MOH, so now groom, best man, and bride are asking me to "reason with" this girl so that she agrees.

EDIT: Formatting

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