Tl;dr - my fiancé is bad with finances and I’ve learned hasn’t been completely forthcoming about how much debt he has. Also continues to be oblivious about finance but wants to start a family. How do I help him and myself?
And it’s starting to worry me. I’m talking big credit card balance (before we got together) hiding bills from me after telling me he was upfront with everything he owed as we made our budget, always wanting to deviate from said budget without giving it thought, etc.
To top it off he wants to try for a baby, and with our budget showing good savings and debt payoff (we’re both military so good pay), job security, etc I was giving it thought.
Today I came home from work and I saw mail that said a balance on his cc was way higher ($2000+) than he just told me it was yesterday as he was looking at his bank app. So he lied to my face. I also found out my ring he financed has a 29% interest rate and adds $66 monthly! When we were doing our debt payoff list, that should have been on the top of our list but he never mentioned the aggressive interest or being concerned. Since it was my ring I tried to give him space as to not ruin the moment I guess but now I regret it with interest like that!
He’s a great man otherwise, though rough around the edges, and I knew he needed serious financial guidance before deciding to marry him, but lying and being secretive about it is another ball park for me. I know it’s embarrassing stuff, but it needs to be out in the open because otherwise it’s breaking my trust.
My question is, has anyone else’s SO started off bad with money and lying about it and you were able to teach them and blossom financially as a couple? I’m not asking if I should leave him. If you’ve been through something like this, I would appreciate the advice as to how to approach this and help him stop this destructive behavior before it ruins us.
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from Relationships https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/8kyvwx/my_23f_fiancé_24m_is_hiding_past_debt_and_making/
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