My behavior is not something I'm proud of so keep in mind that I'm already ashamed of my lifestyle and condemnation or expressions of disgust, etc. will be a waste of your time. I have been having sex with a girl that I met through work for 3 years, we are essentially "friends with benefits", or that's what I thought. She admitted recently that she has always felt differently, but she disguised her true feelings for me as she thought I would not see her if she told me.
She said that she has been in love with me for the entire 3 years, that she's never gone near another man during that time and has been faithful to me even though I wasn't to her and even though I only thought of her as an fwb. I am extremely flattered by this obviously, but this also completely shamed me for my behavior (I deserve this shame, I don't mean that she's doing it out of spite or on purpose) as I caused this wonderful woman a lot of pain just so I could get off and feel good about myself. She said that she can't do this anymore, that she needs to be married and have children soon, and that I can choose her (and commit very seriously, eventually marriage) or not see her again.
I have come to depend on her, I rely on her affection and all the attention she gives to me (none of which I deserve). I realized that without her I am going to feel lonely and miserable. I've been having sex with other women, having flings that go nowhere, but none of these compare with her. She stays with me, cooks dinner, cuddles, and all these other little things that make me feel like I belong somewhere. I think I might have been in love with her without even knowing it.
I have thought about this for a while now, and I think I want to commit to her. She won't expect me to propose right away or anything, but in a few months I'm thinking about doing that, as she has stated clearly that that is what she needs, marriage and children (and relatively soon).
My reasoning for this decision is that I am first of all deeply impressed that she has been faithful to me for 3 years when I have acted horribly during that time (in terms of faithfulness) and when I didn't even expect that, she has loved me and suffered because of it, she supports me in so many ways (my life would feel empty without her and what she does for me).
I am pretty sure that I will never meet such an amazing woman again, who has such character, faithfulness, beauty to name a few qualities. And I just can't lose her. Does it sound like this is the good foundation of a commitment that will, in all likelihood, be for not only a monogamous relationship but also, in short order, marriage?
tl;dr My friend (with benefits) has given me an ultimatum: she needs serious commitment because she is almost 30 and needs to get married and have kids. She has been faithful to me for the entire 3 years of our relationship because she's been in love with me, despite my fooling around in flings with multiple girls. She does so much for me, my life will feel empty without her, and I've never gotten along better with any other woman, nor do I expect to meet another like her. Doesn't it sound reasonable to commit to her?
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from Relationships https://ift.tt/2rK0rmD
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