So we've been together 2ish years and just got through a bit of a rough patch. We never broke up or discussed being on a break.
However, a few weeks ago during that whole thing he was at an event where his ex was. And he told me (like a 2 weeks after it happened) that she sat on his lap and kissed him on the lips a few times.
It was in public.
He said she did it to a few people.
When I asked him if she knew we were still together, he mentioned she had asked, "wouldn't i_chug_butter be upset?"
I never mentioned cheating or considered this cheating, to be honest if it was someone else I'd likely not care, but I wasn't unhappy about it, save for the fact it was this girl and this girl clearly has no respect that he's in a relationship, and that I'm pretty sure she gets off on the notion that he's with someone else. And it's his ex.
So, we had recently got past our rough patch and he had invited me to a party. While we were discussing things a few days later I mentioned how mad I was at her for acting like this, and still trying to be friends with me. And that I was so tired of her trying to be friends with me, and honestly the next time it happens I'd like to call her on her shit. She's done this a few times, where she tries to make out with him or whatever else, and it really pisses me off that she does shit like that while still seeing me and pretending we can be friends.
I got uninvited to the party a day before the party, but it was ambiguous. So I sent a follow up message day-of to make sure we weren't hanging out. I thought he was mad at me, because when people suddenly uninvite you to stuff that's weird right? He says he's not mad at me.
So I had to pry out of him that the reason I was uninvited was that he didn't want me to "cause drama". Which I have never, ever, in the two years we've been together caused drama with anyone (and this isn't the first time she's behaved like this). I've always handled myself well in negative social situations.
He went to the party, and I realized that I probably could have handled myself better when we were on the phone, and sent a follow-up text 2 hours later saying I was sorry for being harsh, but that I think this is a communication issue and I would have preferred he say something to me along the lines of, "Hey, I know you were upset by what happened with us, she'll be at the party, you decide what you want to do." Instead of treating me like I'm an immature child.
I never yelled at him on the phone or raised my voice, but I don't know, I did tell him I was hurt that he was treating me like this and that I was really upset. And he was stressing me out.
I get that I said I can't stand her, and that I'm upset with the whole situation, but now I'm even more upset that my partner can't trust me to behave (again, I stress, I have never ever caused a scene or anything) in public.
The cherry on top is that message I sent, he just ignored all night.
So he basically went to a party his ex would be at, totally ensured I wouldn't be there (I still don't think he'd cheat on me), and completely ignored my message all night.
Am I in the wrong here?
What do I do?
I feel really invalidated and disrespected....
tl/dr: my partner uninvited me to a party that his ex would be at, because I was upset that she kissed him (on the lips, no tongue) while sitting on his lap.
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