Made this account because I needed somewhere to vent.
I've been together with my husband, Scott, for 14 years, 8 of which we've been married. We have two children, Holly, [10F] and Sam [6M]. We both work but dedicate a lot of time to the kids and each other.
Scott and I both come from very different family backgrounds. I suppose you could say I'm middle class/upper middle class. My father is a head teacher and my mother a lawyer. My brother [37M], sister [29M] and myself went to a private school. He became a lawyer like mum while my sister is a Doctor. I studied economics at ''Oxbridge'' (not saying which one) and now work as a financial analyst in London.
Scott, meanwhile, is from a very working class background. He and his three siblings were born on a rough and violent council estate. However, when I say working class, I do not mean ''poor''. Scott's mum and dad [68 F + M] worked incredibly hard. They grew a business and were able to move the family into a quiet and comfortable area, and instilled a strong work ethic in all of them. Now Scott has his own construction firm, two of his brothers [45M/43M] are self-employed plumbers and make a great living, and his sister [40F] is a police officer who worked her way up from the bottom.
As I said, Scott's family are strong believers in hard work. When they first met me they were a little dismissive. They thought I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth and would look down my nose at them, but I proved them wrong and now get along really well with his parents. His family have met mine and we all get along, and I was even invited to be maid of honour at his sister's wedding a few years ago.
However, his extended family aren't so kind. A lot of them still live in the violent area Scott grew up in and don't have much love for people like me. They have a lot of respect for Scott's family for being able to better themselves, but he's had to put up with a lot of ribbing for the fact that he married ''one of them''. They often say these things while I'm right there and act as if I don't exist. I've had my accent being mimicked in an unpleasant way, and it's pretty rare for someone outside of Scott's immediate family to come up and talk to me at family gatherings and events. I've actually been in tears about this before. I genuinely feel like they don't see me as a human being just because of where and how I grew up.
However, things have really come to a head this weekend, when his parents invited us all for dinner. Scott has had a disagreement with his brother Andy [45M] for the past few weeks, which turned into a full-on argument this weekend. As it turned into a shouting match, I pointed out something in agreement with Scott, and Andy's wife Michelle [42M], who I've always been civil with, shouted, ''Oh be quiet, you posh *****''. Andy told her that what she said was too harsh, but by then I was so shocked I ran to the car and sobbed. Scott and Andy almost ended up fighting about what she'd said, but in the end he decided he'd rather comfort me than fight with Andy.
When we got home I told Scott that I'd had enough. I said to him that he can do what he wanted, but I wasn't going to be coming to any more of his family gatherings. It's clear that his family don't consider me a human being with feelings. I've also said that I don't want the kids going to them either. He's given me some time to think but I'm pretty firm in my decision unless he decides to make clear to his family that he won't tolerate this anymore.
tl;dr: My husband's extended family have absolutely no respect for me because of my family background.
[link] [comments]
from Relationships https://ift.tt/2wZse81
No comments:
Post a Comment