I'm a 47 y/o single mom. My kids are 15,19, & 22. The youngest two still live at home. Our house has long been the "hang out" house where my kids' friends congregate. Most of these kids treat me like a second mom- confide in me, buy me mother's day gifts, rely on me for rides, food, advice, etc.
My 15y/o daughter's best friend in particular spends better than half her time with us. She lives within walking distance and has a key to our home. She's been going through some pretty heavy mental health issues including suicide attempts & self-harm. I've been involved in some of her breakdowns as she has called me to pick her up in the middle of the night, run to our house for refuge, etc.
I have sat down with her mom to try to see what I can do to help, and it quickly became apparent that this kids' family has NO idea how to help her. They have her in therapy, but aside from taking her to appointments, pretty much seem to regard the whole thing as something they don't want to deal with. They have two other kids with "bigger" issues like drug problems and arrests & she is the baby & the "good girl". They basically act like she is acting out for attention to annoy them.
Last week the girl came out as bisexual to her family and they are NOT handling it well. They've told her that they do not accept it, that she will not be welcome in their home with a female partner, and that they are deeply disappointed in her. Basically everything that you DO NOT want to say, they've said. My daughter was present for some of this.
I am really worried for this kid and do not know what to do. I've told her that we will always love her for exactly who she is, that we would love to meet her girlfriends and that she is always welcome in our home. I've encouraged her to give her parents time to process, and affirmed that her value isn't linked to her sexuality in any way. I know her parents are trying to pray this away. But given her already fragile mental health I really worry.
I'm scared that saying anything to her parents will result in them cutting my daughter and me out of her life; I also worry that they may decide my child is more than a platonic friend and target her with their bigotry.
My daughter was already scheduled to go away on this family's summer vacation in August and I have no idea how to handle that either. I do not want her exposed to that kind of attitude but I also don't want her friend to feel abandoned if we back out.
I would love any advice.
TL;DR! daughter's best friend's mental health is fragile, parents are reacting poorly to her coming out. Not sure how to help.
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