Hi guys,
Sorry but this is likely to be a long one.
I have been with my fiance [33 M] for several years now & our relationship is brilliant. We have a small child also. I am originally from abroad so I have no family where we live, other than my future in laws and of course friends I have acquired over my time living here (approximately 5 years)
My MIL has taken me and my son (from another relationship, father not in the scene) on board more than I could ever have asked for. She does everything for my son and treats him as her own. You couldn't ask for a better grandparent. I will make a side-note here and say she does not drink when he is in her care. At least this is what I am told (and when I pick him up she seems entirely straight) She works full time and we tend to be a successful bunch of people so I have never had a concern, until now.
My fiance is an only child and his mother is seriously dependent on him, she Mummy's him terribly. However he is the opposite of a mummy's boy; he is incredibly successful and has no qualms with telling her she is being ridiculous/overbearing/ridiculous. So it's never, ever been a problem. We see her once a fortnight, and we enjoy the time.
For the last two years I have felt I need to try to 'fit in' and get her approval so, when she has said some things that I disagree with, I have just kept quiet. Over the last few months it has become frustrating and I have been upset on many occasions due to her insulting something that is relative to me- eg, people who live in anything other than a house are not successful. [My parents live on houseboats and are incredibly happy and successful]
We want another child, but she has subtely told me that 'wouldn't it be ridiculous to have another child as we could then not afford to spoil them as we do your little one!' (hello, I don't want the kiddo spoilt anyway matey)
Everything she says its as though she is convincing me to think it is my idea - it's genuinely manipulation but I am unsure whether it's intentional.
THE MAIN EVENT
This weekend she paid for us to go away for the entire weekend as a joint birthday present for my Fiance and I. It was lovely. We spent the first 3 days in glorious sun enjoying excellent hotels, beautiful food and fantastic company. The final night everyone massively over-did it on the booze. I stuck to my two glasses of wine through the day because I was away from home and not comfortable drinking anymore without it being a bit risky with kiddo. No problem. MIL drank a HUGE amount come 8PM she started blatantly disrespecting me. I have tattos, alebit subtle ones on my upper arm and back, but she started saying how disgusting it was and how her son was a saint and would never do anything like that.
6 months of pent up 'being respectful and keeping it in' and I lost it. I told her that 'your son is very capable of thinking for himself and, funnily enough, asked for my tattoo artist last month to book in for a piece'
Ha ha ha ha ha
From here, it's a blur. All of a sudden I felt a huge amount of pain and was pushed into the side of the couch and onto the floor. She'd punched me square in the shoulder. From here I ran upstairs and attempted to get away. My Fiance and my MIL's partner had to physcially hold her back as she was screaming everything under the sun. I was called a skank, a slut, a hoe - words I had never heard her even say.
We left with our son and booked into a much better hotel and enjoyed a short amount of sleep before going home.
Forward to today - she messaged me the next morning and said 'I am so sorry from the bottom of my heart and I need to fix this'
I ignored her for 4 days just due to the fact I genuinely have no idea what to say. I feel shocked. I don't do drama. I do not do hurting people. I feel disrespected. She then emailed me this today:
I left it until now to contact you as Steve thought it best as you asked me to leave it a while in your WhatsApp message.
Where do I start? We had such a lovely, lovely holiday until I spoiled it on the last night.
After drinking wine and then drinking 22% Malibu I seem to have totally lost the plot and have NO memory of the latter part of the night what so ever!
The last thing I remembered was talking about tattoos and Michael saying he “might” get one sometime and me being very cross and you saying, “Laura I think Michael is old enough to make his own mind up” and Steve says it’s like the red mist came over me! I seriously don’t remember all the horrible things Steve told me I said and even where they came from!! I have lovely friends at work who have tattoos so can only presume I was overwhelmed at the thought of Michael having one when he has never said he would before. Also, it is totally none of my business, it was the drink talking.
You know I think the world of you and Noah and know how good you are for Michael so please tell me I haven’t spoilt our relationship and that we can somehow get back from this?
I am sorry from the bottom of my heart for being a total prat that evening and I am upset and embarrassed and rightly so, I deserve to be.
All my love
Sara
Also turns out she's forgotten she hit me.
I don't know what to do. I love this woman and she is my only family here. I want to forgive her, but I don't know how to do so without making me seem like she can get away with this.
Please, please any help would be appreciated. :(
TLDR: Go away with MIL, she has a disagreement due to my tattoos and thinks I have converted her son, hits me and then asks for forgiveness. Unsure what to do.
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