So I guess for context, there are three parties involved in this drama: Myself, my girlfriend, and our couch shitting housemate (her cat).
Our shituation involves the cat pooping on the couch at least once or twice a week. Needless to say, a giant steaming cat turd on your couch can cause some general animosity between everyone that comes into that space. No one seems especially happy about this situation.
My life has devolved into an arms race against a cat's butthole, and I'm losing the war. We've given the cat extra litter trays, we've given it daily access to outside, we've put anti-cat caltrops on the couch in an effort to protect it, all to no avail. This cat will poop on the spikes which is humbling to clean. We've started covering the couch with sticky tape, waterproof covers, and have even taken to putting other furniture (e.g. the coffee table) on it. None of these obstacles impede his relentless ass-ult.
What the heck do I do? If not practical advice for dealing with the literally shitty situation, I'd love some advice on how to not hate my cat, and how to cope with the extensive embarrassment that ensues when guests who come over and find our couch is covered with metaphorical or literal shit all over it.
tldr; cat keeps pooping on my couch and it's embarrassing AF.
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