I've had oral sex with a guy I met on tinder twice. First time was when my flatmates were away, second time when his flatmate was away. However, I have difficulties being intimate in such a casual way - I've really grown to despise casual sex.
I've also had a bad experience with another guy which I can't stop thinking about when I have sex and it just makes the whole experience rather difficult. The day after I stayed at his place I cried when I got home - not sure why exactly, but I just didn't feel very happy.
Obviously, after the first time I liked him enough to want to see him a second time. He's a very warm and fun person. However, after the second time, there were also things about him that really began to disgust me, like how his toe nails were far too long or how he farted at least twice in front of me. Also, I began to find his personality frustrating because he was so self-absorbed. For example, he would not stop talking about the fact that he goes to an Ivy League college. (But he's studying geography and he didn't know what Scandinavia was - how does this happen?)
So the third time we met we went out for lunch together. And then he wanted to see me in the evening. So when I got home, I wrote to him and said I didn't want to have sex any longer because I don't feel comfortable having casual sex and that sex is difficult for me, regardless of the person. But I also said I would still be happy to hang out.
Since then he's been really short with me via text. Everything he's written has been passive aggressive and abrupt. I've been trying to be as friendly as possible but he's just been really grumpy. I suggested going out for lunch together (to which he replied 'maybe', in another attempt to be passive aggressive).
When we had lunch, he said he was annoyed with me because I didn't talk to him about how I felt when we had lunch together, instead of writing it via text. And he felt that I had plenty of other opportunities to tell him that since we had already had sex twice. And he wanted me to know that if he felt that I was using him for sex then he would 'drop' me instantly (which didn't really seem relevant).
After the lunch he texted me to say he wanted to cuddle. I said I wasn't sure because I was a bit worried about my flatmate (who owns the apartment) would think about two guys together, since he's a typical Czech straight guy and he doesn't seem exceptionally open minded (which is all true). Then the tinder guy got annoyed with me again and since then it's just been passive aggressive texts again.
So basically I'm wondering whether I should write to him and just explain that I've had a bad experience with a guy before, and that he shouldn't take my decision too personally, and that I don't want us to be on bad terms. I just know that if it were the other way round, and I was interested in someone who didn't want to have sex with me then I wouldn't be too pleased either. So I can sympathise with him. On the other hand, I feel like I shouldn't bother because he's being such a grumpy pants.
Does he have good reason to be grumpy with me?
EDIT: Just to clarify - I don't feel like he's pressuring me into sex. When asking to cuddle, that would literally be just cuddling. I'm not adverse to this because it's quite nice to cuddle and to feel like I'm wanted. But I'm being put off by him quite a lot so I'm not exactly relishing the thought of cuddling with him either. I'm in two minds about him.
Tl;dr not sure if I should reconcile with a guy who is annoyed because I said I didn't want to have sex with him
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