I can’t be alone in this, and would really like to know how other people have handled it.
My mother has never been one to go to doctors. She’s gone to a physician maybe twice in the last decade, and each time was only after prolonged begging by my father and myself. She’s never explained why she doesn’t like to go to doctors; the closest I’ve ever gotten to an explanation was when she told me, “I don’t want to be told that I have cancer.”
Her genetic history is terrible (in her immediate family alone, there is significant history of diabetes, stroke at a young age, heart attack at a young age, and dementia). And we’ve thought for a few years now that she is showing early signs of dementia herself (increased confusion, memory problems, difficulty performing ordinary tasks like cooking). But she just refuses to go to the doctor for an annual check up, or anything at all. If we suggest it, she always responds with “I’m busy” (she volunteers ten hours a week total for two organizations, and those are her full time commitments), or “I”ll go when I finish X” (X invariably being some task that will never be completed).
My father used to ask me to try to convince her, because he felt that she would listen to me before him. But I decided about a year ago, fuck it. I’m tired of asking her, I’m tired of trying different tactics, I’m tired of spacing out my requests to every few months so that she doesn’t feel badgered. Clearly, for whatever reason, she simply doesn’t want to go. And my father apparently came to a similar conclusion, as he told me the other day that he’s stopped talking about doctors with her as well.
It feels weird to give up on this. But I also really don’t want to continue like we have been, and to be honest it felt very freeing for me once I decided I wasn’t going to involve myself with her medical life anymore.
TL;DR: My mother refuses to go to the doctor, and I've decided to stop asking her to go. Do you have any advice?
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