Hi!
So the jist of my ask is how much of a reason do you give someone when ending it with them?
The long version:
Met this dude on Tinder end of Jan, been seeing him since. We're both very inexperienced from the whole relationship/sex thing (he was my first). At the beginning, it was fine. I wasn't head over heels for him but I told myself I needed to give people a chance. Gave him a chance.
He is smart, passionate, hardworking and all that good stuff. For the most part, he's a good guy however, he's not someone I want to be in a relationship with. I don't feel cared for or appreciated. There's a whole bunch of things that make me feel this way. Like the times when he said he would make plans for us - but the plan was for a dinner at undecided location - how lovely. Or the time I said I told him I was having a bad day and he really didn't bother to do much to cheer me up or ask why I was feeling this way.
There's also much bigger things, like the fact that we live about 40 mins drive away from each other and he has only driven to see me about twice. Granted, I live at home and he doesn't so we have privacy at his place but I don't feel like we need to have sex every time we see each other - sometimes we should just be able to hang out.
Often times I really do feel like we're more just friends with benefits, except we're not great friends either so just benefits really - not a relationship I want to have. I told him this last time I saw him and he didn't really get it either, he was like yah yeah okay, I guess we can talk on the phone once a week - uhm ok?
Anyways, I think I am ready to end it. I'm not sure how to phrase why I am ending it. How much of a reason do I owe him? He is surface level very nice but I just expect more from a partner. We did go through some pretty heavy stuff at the beginning seeing as it was my first time etc. so I can't just say "nah its not working bye" type of a thing. But I also don't want to give him a rap sheet of all the times I have felt uncared for.
And before I get the whole I should have talked to him when these things were happening, I'd like to point out that I think this is what dating is for - to find out how a person behaves in these situations, I am not in this to "change a person". I think if you care for someone, you'd show it in whatever means makes sense to you. In this case, I don't feel it in anyway.
TL;DR: How much of a reason do I owe to someone when ending it?
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