Last month I heard from my mom, with dissatisfaction, that my cousin Laura was dating for the first time. Knowing our religious extended family and from my own experience I knew she wasn't getting any sex education from them or from her Christian school beyond "don't have sex before marriage" and figured it's my responsibility to give her at least her very basics.
We had a quick chat about sex and I gave her sex-ed videos to watch. These are the same material that they use in normal schools. They covered stuff like pregnancy, sexual health, education about STDs and protection, conterception, consent and other related stuff.
I also gave her some money (small amount, enough to get condoms). I didn't do it to encourage her to have sex but to make sure that she has some money in her pocket so that in case she decided to have sex, she has the means to get condoms quickly from anywhere. I did this because I knew her parents don't let her carry more money than absolutely necessary. 16 year olds could get stupid in the heat of the moment, as happened to a friend of mine (and didn't end well for him and his girlfriend).
I also told her that if she ever wants to have a judgement-free conversation about anything, I'm here for her. And I offered her a 24/7 no-questions-asked ride service in case she wanted to get out of a situation. This is exactly what my half-sister did for me when I was 16. I figured I should do the same for my cousin.
So that was the extent of my involvement here. Yesterday, I got an angry phone call from my uncle blaming me for her daughter having sex. Apparently she told her friend that she had sex with her boyfriend, who then told her mom, who told my aunt and they found the videos and condoms and after interrogating her they she had to tell them that she got them from me.
I don't know what to do now. Looks like my uncle/aunt expect apologies from me for taking their daughter out of the so-called righteous path (whatever that means), my own parents are on their side too, expect me being remorseful and promising that this wouldn't happen again.
I feel bad about my cousin and she must be under a lot of pressure. I don't think I'll get access to her to offer any support, maybe unless I apologize and promise them that this would never happen again, but there are no guarantees.
How do I help my cousin at this point?
tl;dr: I gave cousin sex-ed material and money to get condoms. She had sex. Her parents found out and now I'm no longer allowed to see her, and I'm being blamed for her having sex. She's under a lot of pressure and I want to help her but don't know how.
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