Long story short, I started a business with someone I have feelings for. We're still in the beginning phases, but I believe that we have the potential to be something great in the future, business-wise. I have been seeing him since this past October, so around 7 months. We have slightly talked about exclusivity but we haven't fully committed to that due to other long stories that are irrelevant. I am not seeing anyone else because of how busy I am, and I'm 99% sure he has no time to be seeing anyone else either.
He has been very secretive with his texts lately, and I wanted to give myself the benefit of the doubt, that I was just overthinking, but last night I couldn't take it anymore and I decided to snoop. I found private messages with a girl on his social media that dated back 2 months ago (probably even more than 2 months, I decided not to scroll further) and they were flirty. The message thread ended with her giving him her number (1 month ago) and I'm going to assume they have been carrying out the rest of their conversations via text message.
Of course when I found these messages my heart sank. I made up excuses in my mind that this girl lives across the country in another state, so it doesn't matter... Right?
The girl he has been texting is in an abusive relationship herself. She has a boyfriend that constantly cheats on her along with verbally abusing her. I figure, maybe he just wants the ego boost and she's vulnerable. I'm the only girl he sees in person, and I just want to be hopeful in saying that although he is texting another girl, it probably means nothing to him, but it does hurt me a little.
I want to talk to him about it, but it would mean that I would have to own up to violating his privacy. I'm not sure when or if I'd ever feel ready to do this, especially since our personal relationship has been great the last couple weeks (or so... from my point of view, before I found the messages, they were) and I really am starting to see our business grow.
From a logical, objective point of view, I could understand why he could be texting her as our business involves me being the front(wo)man, throwing me into the limelight for a lot of boys to flock to me. I never get involved with them, however, and at the end of the day, my heart wants only him. I try to think maybe he wants some attention himself so he seeks it from girls with whom he is able to keep his distance.
Guys and girls alike, what is your take on texting/flirting with people who aren't your significant other for an ego boost? There are certain boundaries people are okay with and I'm not sure if I would count him as "emotionally" cheating on me because from what I saw, he doesn't talk to her the same way as he talks to me. I can't confirm whether or not this is the case now, as this only pertains to what I saw via social media. Since she gave him her number a month ago, it's possible that the text messages could have evolved into something more emotional but I'm not sure.
If I were to confront him about it, how can I do this in a proactive way and not make him feel attacked?
TL;DR: Found my partner messaging another girl, we own a business I don't want to jeopardize, I chalk it up to him just wanting shallow attention and nothing more, however I do feel hurt. How can I handle this proactively?
[link] [comments]
from Relationships https://ift.tt/2G6Jg3d
No comments:
Post a Comment