No idea if I'm in the wrong here, so looking to figure out if I'm being unreasonable or not. We've been together a year.
Basically, my boyfriend and I both have time off at the end of May so we were planning to go on a trip somewhere together. I was excited, and thinking about potential places we can go. We decided it pretty last minute, so nothing is booked.
A little while after making the decision to go somewhere, he gets a better offer from his friends who are going on a group trip together. I can't go on the trip because I'm waiting to receive my new visa, so I can't leave the US until I get it (we were going to go to Hawaii or somewhere cool in the States). Additionally, while the group of people going seem nice, I don't really know them at all and wouldn't be comfortable vacationing for ten days with them. I was also most definitely not invited by them, but my boyfriend would let me tag along if I was able to leave the states. I wouldn't really be comfortable imposing myself on them anyway.
My boyfriend ums and ahs about what he wants to do. I made clear that it was his time off and it sucks because my vacation plans are ruined, but ultimately I don't want to go somewhere with him if he'd rather be somewhere else.
Yesterday he decides the group trip isn't for him because he wouldn't be able to travel with the group due to work constraints and he'd have to do 30 hours of solo traveling each side and he isn't keen on that. Great! Now we're back to the original plan.
Today, he texts me to tell me he's changed his mind again and he feels like he'd be missing out if he didn't go with friends. Fine, I understand that logic, sucks for me but it's his time and money.
He says we can still go somewhere close by for three days before he leaves. I told him three days is not worth the time and the money on my end, so I'm not sure about it. I make it clear that I'm totally fine with whatever decision he makes but not sure if I want to waste the money for only three days; I could save it and use it to travel with my sister when I go to visit her in a couple of months.
He's deeply offended by my reasoning and made out that I'm trying to make him pick, and I'm making him feel like the bad guy for "abandoning me." My reasoning is his:
- He got the better offer and decided to do that despite the fact that we already had plans, so while I'm not going to hold it over his head, I am a little bit slighted.
- I'm allowed to not be on board with the mini-vacay he suggested as it's not what we initially planned and might not be the best use of my time or money.
Am I right to be feeling this way? Or should I apologize?
tldr: My boyfriend and I were planning a vacation. We didn't book it yet and then he got a better offer that I can't accompany him on. He suggested we go away from three days somewhere close to home, but I wasn't on board. He's super pissed at me now. Am I in the wrong?
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