My wife and I have been together for 8 years, married for 6. We have had an amazing and happy marriage and have a one year old daughter. Approximately 2 months ago I discovered that our primary bank account was -$1800 and our credit card was maxed out at $5,000. My wife has always dealt with our finances and I never look at the bank accounts. I would just ask her how we were doing and she would say we have a few thousand in checking and several thousand in savings, I would say cool and be done with it. I totally freaked out and asked why she would lie to me about this and she would not give me an answer. I told her that we were "done" and took a shower. After I cooled off I apologized to her and told her that I was sorry for saying what I said and that I love her and do not want a divorce and for putting all of the budgeting responsibilities on her and told her I would help come up with a budget. she then got money from her grandmother and paid everything off. I thought everything was good until I discovered that she purchased match.com on her iPhone and tried to be sneaky buy buying an iTunes gift card to pay for 1 month subscription I then found her profile which said she was sepparated. I confronted her about it and she told me that she is lonely because I have been working nights for the past 9 months and that it is difficult with our daughter. I told her that I knew it was hard but I can't quit my high paying job because of night shifts since we have a mortgage and bills. She then promised to delete her profile and promised me that she wants to stay married and doesn't want to be with or have sex with anyone else. We talked it out and I thought it was going really well. A week later I asked to look at her phone because messages I was sending to her and receiving from her were in a weird order. she also wanted to compare them. before she handed me her phone she spent several minutes swiping and clicking and I assumed she was deleting messages. she then handed me her phone and almost immediately received a text from a guy stating that he liked her and wanted to meet her "in real life". She admitted that she had been talking to him for several days and said that it was "no big deal" because she was just "flirting" with him. I told her it was a big deal to me and asked her to stop. I couldn't sleep for several days after that and constantly have the feeling she is hiding something. She claims she blocked his number but refuses to show me her phone. We made up again and I was really excited that things might get better, until I came home early from work. I got home at 2 am instead of 7 am because I maxed out overtime(70 hours per week) and her car was not in the garage. I immediately went to our daughters room as she was crying. I then went to our room and my wife was not there. I immediately called her and she finally answered on the 3rd attempt. I asked her who she was fucking and why our daughter was home alone she said "no one" and told me she went out with friends (whom I have never met and she has been hanging out with lately). I got super pissed off because a one year old should not be left alone. She got defensive and said that I do not trust her and I told her she was absolutely correct. I told her that someone would have to be naïve or stupid to ignore her current behavior and trust her. My question is, am I over reacting and what should I do? she is the love of my life and I am in so much pain because I fear I am losing her.
*TL;DR;** : Trust issues with my wife, appears to be looking for other relationships, seeking advice
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