Hello Reddit. My wife and I got married in October of last year. During the engagement and since has been a nightmare financially.
The wedding was 21k give or take. I've paid around 15k and she has paid 1k from her tax return. I told her that after the wedding we will have to buckle down and pay off the remainder.
The issue is that through multiple conversations, nothing has really changed. Only I have attempted to reduce bills, only I have created a budget, worked extra hours, did side work to help pay for things. She continues to want to eat out every meal, buy things we don't need, and won't put forth the effort/sacrifice for it.
To make matters worse, last week she wanted to send the kids to bible camp (to the tune of $600). I told her that we didn't have the money and she went behind my back to get her brother to pay for it. I made her return the money as a matter of pride but holy fuck that betrayal.
Budget wise, we can pay it off in less than six months if we cut our budget and stop eating out, blowing our money on stupid shit. But I guess I just need to know how to successfully do that. We have joined our finances into one bank account. Should we split them up so I can focus on paying it off by myself?
;TLDR - Wife doesn't care about money and has said exactly so. How can we focus on our finances and how do I get over this feeling like if I don't give her everything she wants, she'll get someone else to do it?
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