Hello,
My husband is an awesome man. No issues. We are on my third and longest deployment-I have been gone for six months and will be home in winter.
Just one thing that has been irking me lately.
I am deployed to the middle east with my army unit. If you have been deployed, you may understand deployments can be insanely boring and crappy if you have no friends.
With this deployment, I found myself not finding a fun group of friends (small group and rank keeps you from being yourself) and not being able to do much besides mundane gym routines and reading.
I bought myself a gaming laptop and joined a group of gamers on this game I can enjoy for hours. It is like a mental escape for me and it is making the weeks go by so much faster now that my time off of shift is occupied.
Here comes the problem. My husband gets pissed if I don't thoroughly respond to his texts. I admit, I got lost in my game a few times and took a couple hours to respond to one of his texts and he was mad because he was having a crappy day at work. I wish he would've facetimed me (I use wifi for my phone) to break me out of my game and that would've been a null issue.
He was mad that I did not hear his text and said what if there was an emergency. I apologized and felt bad. I don't want to disrespect him.
Since that occurred a few weeks ago, it seemed we had compromised, I do not play my game until our conversation via text/facetime is over and I tell him I am playing. Then he knows I may not be texting him as much.
Yesterday, after gchatting him while our work schedule overlaps, I said let's facetime when I get back to my room. I waited almost 35 minutes or so for him to wrap up a meeting and we had a good facetime session. Both of us were satisfied.
I go to playing my game and a couple hours later (while I do a good job responding to his intermittent texts) he facetimes me. No big deal. I hide my character in a bush. It is an online multiplayer game so I can get killed easily if I am out in the open and lose lots of time if I have to restart. He wanted to show me the cat's new haircut which was really cute and we talk for a few minutes. All of a sudden my team mates start yelling over my computer we are getting attacked by Chinese. I glance at my computer and exclaim this and my husband makes a disgusted look and says okay bye.
I tried to brush it off and I stopped playing because it was already past my bedtime. I texted him good night and today at shift we start our usual gchat and he is saying stuff like oh your video games are more important than your husband and teasing me. He said I play for 10000 of hours…Yeah the game can be boring for hours and when something FINALLY happens it is the best! So I started defending myself because HE KNEW I WAS GAMING and he cuts me off with having to deal with work. Silence.
I am confused. I know communication is important to him and I suck at texting. He is at work while I am off for the day and want to enjoy playing video games while I am on this shitty deployment. I don't want to make him think video games are more important than him, duh, but I don't think an unplanned facetime to show me our cat's new haircut warranted that reaction. Who knows, it might be another build up and not that one instance what triggered his frustration.
How can we compromise?
tl;dr: I feel husband is being unreasonable with how much I need to acknowledge his texts/facetiming when I am off shift while deployed and playing video games.
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