We started this relationship in distance. We are from different countries and we live in different countries.
We have been together for some moths and we had many communication problems, so finally we broke. I the last months we came back together and we still have the same problems, even worse.
I say even worse because we put some much effort in making it work and he just stopped the 'light things in a relationship that affect to comunication. I told him, comunication is not just words to me, there are other different ways that help.
He can be very loving but when we have problems he told me he hates me and he despises me. I think this is beyon anything.I never hate him although we have problems. In these times, he just stops comunications for days or even weeks telling that he needs time and in this periods I don´t know anything of his life. This makes me feel so insecure in the relationship, I told him, but he keeps doing it.
The only way is to wait until him approaching, if I show him my love, he comes with anger, telling me that I don´t listen to him.Listen to him is many times to agreed with what he said and if I don´t he just cuts me again. I need to agree and he doesn´t care about my reasons, he told me.
It is really difficult.I feel the only one making efforts for this relationship, to make him comfortable.Lately this gave me anxiety. The very few times I tried to tell him, everything ended in a mess and he blames me of everything or anything.Lately i live with a ball in my stomach. Anytime I get a message from him I am scared to read it because I just think he is going to insult me or accusing me of something.
All these times he ´needs his times' I just feel so far from him.That I feel I am single.I don´t feel his support.
My friends told me he is not interested in this and he doesn´t really love me.Otherwise he would ask me to go and live with him now that I don´t have a job.
We don´t have a plan of future (I am 34 years old) I tried to talk about this with him and he told me 'things will shape around us'.But I think if you don´t make it work, it will never work.
In the arguments lately he started to insult me and to call me horrible things, to tell me 'fuck you' and to show me the finger when I was talking. I must say that I never did that before. I also mistake but I never insulted him or had that lack of respect.
I don´t think I deserve that but I still love him, some part of me it is still close to him.
I need a point of view in third person
TL;DR: do you think he likes me? Do you think that behaviour is abusive? Do you think it is normal to not know anything about your boyfriend in a week? how could we improve this?
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