My father died eleven years ago. My parents were not in a relationship at the time, and hadn't been together since I was a baby. My mother made it clear how much she didnt like him.
My father's friends did most of the planning, i think? He was cremated. Last year, I found out my mother had left his remains in the utility shed in her backyard. As soon as i knew, she started pushing me to do what she wanted with his ashes. I had no interest or desire in walking up a fucking mountain with her, and I told her repeatedly I didn't want her to do anything.
I have been slowly saving up for a plot and stone for my father. I was finally ok with going to pick them up, so i went by my mother's to get them.
The box was empty.
I panicked, asked my mother to tell me if she knew anything. I couldn't remember if i had checked the remains before. I called the original crematorium to get what info they had and started trying to hunt down the chain of possession.
My mother finally decides to call me back at the end of the night. She dumped his ashes in secret without telling me because 'the energy was bad'. Then there was never a right time to tell me. She dumped them eight months ago.
I feel so guilty. I shouldve known better then to leave them at her house once i knew they existed. It was horrible when it happened and it feels almost as bad now. I hate her.
I really have no idea how to handle this, all i have done since is cry. It was really hard to lose my dad so young, and it just feels like it happened again. I miss him so much and i can't even visit where hia remains are.
Tl;dr: My mother left my father's ashes in a shed for ten years, then dumped them without telling me.
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