Tuesday, 15 May 2018

My (31,f) mom (65,f) is retiring and co-workers are throwing her a party that she said she wants me to come to.

She likes showing off what a "great" person she is to people who don't know the real her. This includes being the "best" mom. A martyr for her kids, deserving of much praise and appreciation by everyone.

I really don't want to go. We have a pretty bad relationship.

I'm pretty significantly disabled and live off my parent's guilt charity (the gov't disability assistance system almost always fails me, leaving me with no independence from my parents). I appreciate it, I really do. That being said:

My childhood was full of physical and psychological abuse.

My adulthood is full of psychological abuse. And no, it's not illegal or anything in my state.

My mom is only nice when she wants something.

Frankly, I try to avoid her as much as possible to keep conflict to a minimum. Going to this party to play the part she intends for me just kind of makes me feel sicker and more tired than usual. I don't think I can muster up the play acting anyway or power through my anxiety and apathy (yes, I know that's conflicting but I disassociate and numb myself but still have anxiety). Funny how a crap life will do that to you...

I don't know. Do I owe it to her to go? Is it unreasonable to lie and tell her I have a stomach ache or something?

TL;DR I don't feel like going to my abusive mom's retirement party that she wants me to come to.

submitted by /u/msminnamouse
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