My boyfriend (let's say Jack) has recently been having family issues. His parents are in the process of divorcing, though it's not surprising because they haven't really been in a relationship the last 10 years. But some nasty stuff has come up. His father has been supporting a lady and her two daughters for more than a decade, lying about thousands of dollars when filing for taxes each year, and had a loan taken out for a 60k car under his 9 year old son's credit. Oh, he also has taken out several loans under his wife's name without her permission and ruined her credit score.
Jack's brother returned to his abusive ex and is raising her ex husband's kids. It's very heart breaking for Jack. I'm really trying to be there for Jack but he can be really closed off about his feelings. He's terrible at communicating and will let the anger build until he explodes over something so miniscule. I love him, but it can really make me scared at times. Especially when he's been drinking. I don't even know who he is when he's drunk. He has this demonic look in his eyes, even in his voice. He just left tonight in a drunken slur. I can't stand being around him when he's in that state.
I love him so, so much when he's sober. He knows this. But he has no control over his alcohol. He has a few friends that tend to influence him for a few hours.. and then i have to take care of a belligerent drunk that's reflecting his personal issues onto our relationship for the rest of the fucking morning. I'm done taking care of him when he's like that though. He really scares me in that state, i still feel shaken up after being around him. If he's been drinking I tell him to find somewhere else to sleep. It's not a habit like it use to be.. but it does still happen too often.
I'm trying to be understanding because who he is when he's drunk isnt who he actually is... (right...?) but i also love myself and don't want to stay in a toxic relationship. I've talked to him when he's sober about the things he's done when drunk. He doesn't remember anything. He's cried over what i've told him he said to me. He's agreed he can't handle alcohol. And yet he keeps slipping into the cycle. I really don't know where to stand as his girlfriend. I try so hard to communicate about his feelings/issues, but he's a closed book when it comes to that. He can't afford therapy.
Tldr; My boyfriend's family has been drastically affecting my boyfriend which is leading him to drink. I dont know who my boyfriend is when he drinks and it seriously scares me.
Question: How can I help my boyfriend with his alcohol abuse? If he can't help himself, how do I keep myself from falling into a hopeless relationship?
[link] [comments]
from Relationships https://ift.tt/2IaQIA3
No comments:
Post a Comment