Okay, so everything was fine between us, the occasional fight, we talked to each other fine, and had good conversation. We're approaching our 6 year anniversary. We just had the best valentine's day we could have ever asked for, her words. We just moved to a new larger apartment, and fully decorated it with some money I came into. When we moved in there was a “rapper” that lived downstairs, and he was popular around the complex, and let people stay at his house. There was this guy named Josh that stayed with him. Josh just drove here from Texas one day to start a new life in Sacramento. He was homeless because of that, and the fact that he got a DUI. About a month after Valentine’s day my girlfriend of 5 ½ years started acting really funny. Didn’t want PDA around the neighbor and his friends, was ALWAYS okay with having them up to smoke blunts, even when I had homework, or did not want company. Now, we lived in a different city before away from her old friends, so she was cooped up for two years. So, I just chalked her behavior to wanting new friends, even if they were guys. She is VERY attractive, Her and I get told all of the time, so she has a lot of guys that try to get at her, never does she reciprocate and usually establishes respect, and ALWAYS follows my lead in social situations. With this one, she wasn’t. she eventually befriended the rapper’s wife, and started hanging out with her, and the neighbors almost exclusively. This went on for a few weeks, until one day she didn’t answer my calls (she was on her period, and HATES GIVING HEAD, don’t think she was cheating), and didn’t call me back. I got home, and she was hanging out with neighbor’s wife, and Josh, and neighbor dude. She hung out with them all night, and didn’t even come in once to say hi to me. She was at Denny’s with neighbor’s wife, and I went to bed at about 3 AM. She came home, and laid next to me, and expressed how she was sorry, but just wanted friends.
This behavior intensified over a few days until she was completely disinterested in sex with me, affection from me, gifts from me, and time with me, and told me she was no longer ready to propse. I confronted her about this, and she, again told me that she just was excited to have friends, and that I was getting in her way (mind you, I just asked if she could come hang out with me for at least 20 minutes to talk about our days). She got invited to a music video shoot, and the neighbor didn’t invite me by name, she told me I wasn’t invited, and that she was going to go. This is ODD behavior from a person who has ALWAYS had my back. Josh gets kicked out of their house, and she is NOTICEBABLY upset about this, and suddenly I am invited to the video shoot. A few days later she’s listening to love songs and looking them up. Still acting cold and distant, Josh has been a topic of conversation for a few days at this point. I used her phone because mine was dead ( we have a very open thing in our relationship), and on her google I saw “songs about wanting someone while in a relationship”. I confront her about this, and ask if she has a crush on Josh, she gets upset, and tells me I am being crazy. I KNEW she was lying, but she never has before, so I trusted her. A week later I spend 103$ on a nice dinner for us, and when we get home she threatens to break up with me for being controlling if I don’t let her walk to the liquor store without me (through the parking lot where Josh now sleeps in a car). She goes, and talks to Josh while doing it, according to the neighbor. A week later, we run into him. She invited him up, and made excuses to keep him over at 3 am, and was flirting with him like I wasn’t even there. They exchanged a halfway hug when they saw each other, I never knew they were on that level of friendship. She tried to give him her number, but he didn’t have a phone, I found out later from him that she also tried to give him her number on the parking lot night. I confront her about this she threatens to end it if I don’t allow her to have guys over while I am at work (I get off at 11 pm, she gets off at 5 pm) “I need friends, and I just don’t get along with girls, he’s just a friend”. I cave, admit I am being insecure, and that I can allow that (I make great money, and am good looking with goals, I am also in law school…I am not threatened by much). The next week, he gets arrested on his DUI warrant, she calls me at work pretty upset about this and asks me if I can pick him up from jail because “he has nobody else”. I catch on to what is going on, and said no. She figures because he’s homeless he won’t be back until his case is done. Around this time, I started getting her attention again, her effort doubled, I started getting head again, sex whenever I wanted, and tons of affection…….almost like an explosion. We run into him a week after arrest, invited him up with an excuse again. Talking to him, but flirting a lot less. Offers to have him come over all of the time. I steal conversation, start talking to him about how he is homeless, and needs to get his shit together. She comes UNGLUED, I go for a walk with him, and discuss alcoholism, and get home to her wanting to break up. Tell her she is being crazy, and explain a lie as to why I interjected. During that conversation she says “did he bring anything else up?”.
Okay, during all of this she was still listening to love songs, specifically about wanting somebody you can’t have. I question her a few times on this, and she almost ends it every time. She told me a few weeks before “If you ever asked me if I cheated on you, and I did I would just leave you. I don’t want people knowing that about me”. So I am starting to find all of this weird. Started bringing up cheating here and there, and got these comments “what if somebody cheated once, and never again, and the person could be happy and together forever”, “I don’t know why you think I liked a dude, I don’t even necessarily have to have feelings for the guy I’m cheating on you with…cheated on you with” (this followed the one time comment from before), “I want to measure your dick, just to see how big it is”, I took her virginity, and I got this one right before head “How fast can you cum, every other guy cums in 2 or 3 minutes (long pause) from what I read, and see on TV.”. I confront her ONE last time (LAST WEDNESDAY, THIS ALL STARTED 2 MONTHS AGO), and she gets VERY upset says “I am trying to want you, why do you keep bringing this up I am trying to move on” ( at this point things are going GREAT, so she wondered why I asking still). I feign belief, her mood changed back to giddy, gives me head in the shower.
I still felt off, so I talked to neighbor’s wife, as they had a falling out. She tells me that my girlfriend had brought Josh up almost every day, about how hot he was, and how she wanted him, but loved me, and didn’t want to throw away 6 years. I am the clear breadwinner and provide everything. I own everything in the house, she makes less than 1k month, I make 75k a year. If she left, she would have NOTHING. This was also a deciding factor for her according to neighbor’s wife.
Now, should I confront her, and ask how far things went? Or, should I just move on, and take note of the whole thing? Things are GREAT right now, she’s lover dovey, and super into me. Spontaneous sex, the whole 9 yards. Although, I started acting cold and distant, as I just KNEW she was lying, so she could be trying to close the distance. But, she lied to me. Josh came over the other day, and made it known he had a phone, she didn’t ask for his number, and went inside after a minute….didn’t invite him in. He was there to apologize for the night that I walked away with him…here’s the thing…he didn’t wrong me that night, he wronged her, she even said “he walked down there with you, what an asshole!”. Should I confront her, or just keep watching, and having fun?
TL;DR my girlfriend has a crush that she pursued while we’re together, and lied to me about her intentions, and somebody else told me that she liked him, and spoke about him a lot. Things are like year one right now (AWESOME), should I confront her? Or just keep watching?
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