I'm using a throwaway because my family still doesn't know.
My soon to be ex-wife (35f) and I (32M) dated for 12 years, married for 8. We've had problems like any other couple, but we worked our way through all of it. Although we weren't the best at communication, we made it work. She was presumably happy too, until I found out about her affair with a neighbor.
I had my suspicions, and they were confirmed when I confronted her directly. She broke down, told me everything. She begged and begged and cried.
I really, really tried to move on guys. I really tried to make it work because of our kids(6M and 3F). It all came to a head when my little angel asked me why I get sad everytime mom looks at me. I couldn't handle the bitterness and it was rubbing on to my kids. Wife had been doing everything I asked for since I found out, but I just couldn't Move on.
Despite ex wife's disapproval, I moved out. I asked my boss and moved into my company's guesthouse temporarily. We haven't divorced yet, haven't even started preparations, but we will eventually. I still need to see my kids, they're my everything. I can't handle not seeing them. I tried to talk to her about it, but she wouldn't budge. She really used them to get me to talk about reconciliation.
I gradually had to beg her to let me see the kids on weekends. I collect them from school on friday, drop them off on monday. It has been this way for the past month. They're my only grip on sanity and reason to live, honestly speaking.
She hasn't been kind to me at all. She thinks that I'm responsible for "nuking our beautiful family". She constantly tells the kids that I'm going away. My little baby girl asks me why. I get so heartbroken. I don't know why she is doing this to me. Whenever I text her(I don't call her, I can't handle it) something related to the kids, she just wants to engage in an argument. She's constantly telling me that I'm bailing on my family. She presses all the right buttons to hurt me. She brings up my past. She does everything in her power to pressure me into getting back together. She even goes so far as to say that the affair was essentially my own doing, because I always wanted to spend time with the kids and work. I just... Want this whole ordeal to be over. I don't want to talk about the affair or be reminded of my inability.
She has been a stay at home mom since we had our baby boy. She doesn't plan on working either, she has told me that much. I have been sending her money so far.
Any advice would be highly appreciated, thanks. I'm sorry for the scattered text.
tl;dr : ex-wife cheated, we separated. We have two kids together, wife is not making co-parenting easy. Please help.
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