[Update] Mom [66f] and bf [25m] of 3 years expect me [26f] to visit them every weekend, all weekend.

My previous post: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/8fjwn0/mom_66f_and_bf_25m_of_3_years_expect_me_26f_to

I'm thankful to everyone who commented, you helped me stand my ground and do what I wanted. This is not a life changing update, just some small stuff.

So I wrote that post a week and a half ago, I read all of your comments and decided to stay at home.

I felt much more relaxed in the weekend because I didn't have to hurry everywhere. That was pretty awesome. Could be better because I had a job interview I was excited about and I was preparing for it part of the weekend (I'm trying to find a better job). I played video games and cleaned and relaxed :) My boyfriend didn't come to visit me in the weekend, but he visited me a couple days before the weekend, because we were having our anniversary.

My mom was sad for one day but didn't try to convince me to come, just said she's having a bad day. Then after that she had a great day, played the piano after a few years of not touching it, did a lot of errands and cleaning and ecen made food that I dislike and she loves. She half jokingly tried to convince me to come eat some tasty food she made, but of course I refused.

Btw about the suggestions of my mom visiting me, she doesn't drive and public transport is kinda horrible here. She could visit me of course but it's not easy for her in her age and with health problems she has.

My boyfriend didn't come over to my place on the weekend. He had a not-so-close-friend's birthday. He was kinda offended at first and said he doesn't understand me. He didn't pressure me to come. After a while he said I should do whatever I feel is right for me (not in a passive aggressivene like it sounds in text lol).

We had a talk about his plan for the future, which he thought about for a couple of days. His plan is to finish his university studies in 1-1.5 year and move in with me. If he doesn't finish or if he fails a course, even one, he told me he'll quit and that he has other options, much easier and faster to acheive than university, for alright paying jobs. I'm not going to write them here. It sounds possible to me. If that doesn't work out either, he said he'll just work at a simple job that doesn't have high requirements. I'm ok with that. I hope he will really make decisions according to this plan.

This weekend I'm going to Small Town. I miss my mom and my boyfriend. Next weekend I'll see what I feel like doing.

Thanks again to everyone!

TL;DR:

Stayed my first weekend away from bf and mom. Mom was fine, enjoyed her free weekend from me. Bf was offended at first but fine later. Told me his future plan for education/work.

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I [29 m] just want my wife to have a good 30th birthday and I feel like I'm failing her as a husband

My amazing wife works her ass off for our 3 year old and I. In addition to that she watches her friends autistic 3 y.o. son 6 days a week. Since she was a stay at home mom before this, they originally agreed on $3 per hour (incredibly low I know but they have been friends since they were 10 and she wanted to help her single mom friend).

This is important because when this all started, it was only gonna be 3 days a week, so my wife would get to help her friend and bring a lil extra money in since we struggle on my single income.

Her friends job lost a few servers and she has now been upped to 6 days a week. My wife doesn't like to make waves and she likes to contribute to the household but the amount of time she has to spend working to help a child with special needs is killing her mentally and physically and she's not even being compensated fairly for the work she's putting in. This is a separate conversation we need to have with the friend at some point, but its put my wife in a position where she feels like she cant care about herself.

Her 30th birthday is in 2 days and I've tried asking her what she wants to do or eat or ANYTHING and she's been avoiding it. She doesn't want to do anything on her actual birthday cuz its a Thursday and she'll have to get up at 4 am on Friday for her friends kid to be dropped off.

Her mom offered to sit for us on Saturday night so we could go out, but she doesn't want to do that cuz sunday is mothers day and she wants to wake up with our daughter on that day, because those moments are important to our kiddo. I understand that but I just wish she could think about what's important to her for one day.

I've tried to talk to her about not forgetting her needs and that it's okay to think about herself one day of the year. She is just spread so thin and exhausted that she feels like she cant care about her own well being.

I just feel like 30 is a big birthday and even tho she says she doesn't care and doesn't need or want anything or cant make it fit in her busy schedule, that I should be doing more to help try and work something out.

Sorry if this is overly wordy, I just want to help her out and dont know what to do for her or what to get her to make sure she has something that makes her 30th memorable.

tl:dr - My wife is going crazy with how chaotic life is and I want to help her have a good birthday

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Me [26 F] with my boyfriend [29 M] 1.5 years, Is it time to break up and move out?

Hi everyone,

I'm having a personal crisis tonight and just want to vent before I make a final decision on my relationship.

We have been dating just over 1.5 years, with a 1 month break up. He broke up with me on new years eve via text after a fight. I moved in with him in early March after we reconciled.

Everything was fine initially. I don't have a car, but I get to and from work by bus, and get groceries on the way home, no issues. My boyfriend thought that because he would occasionally drive short distances on the weekend that I should pay for the groceries, cook him bulk lunches for the week, and pay for petrol money as well. I was more than happy to pay a small amount towards petrol but he felt entitled to cooking and groceries as well. I also buy all the dog food, supplies etc. I put up with this for a while until his attitude got too much for me. I stopped enjoying cooking and started to hate doing it.

Around this time, I also lent him $200 for a luxury item, then when a bill of over $600 came in, he didn't have enough, so I paid it with then intention of receiving his half later. I had no money for food for myself and went without, while he still had money left over for himself. He knew I had nothing and this was a particularly bad week for me. He took a long time to pay me back (still hasn't completely) and some weeks wouldn't because he didn't feel like it and that I had savings (didn't believe that I didn't). Every time I refuse to cook he throws a hissy fit and gets so angry that I either hide in my room or just do it to shut him up. One time he got so angry that he slammed the breaks on in the car and I nearly went into the dashboard. He apologised later, but he has a temper.

Anyway, tonight was the last straw I think. I had just bought a new couch for $320 (he broke mine the other night, won't pay) he was meant to go halves but didn't tell me until we got there. After, we picked up my brother's spare washing machine that he offered us. My boyfriend was ranting about driving and wanted petrol money from me (he owes me $100s), and after I bought him a meal to be nice. He went off at me because it was a regular and not a large meal. He said "You think I'm worth a regular".

I just don't understand what happened to him. Since I've moved in with him he's transformed into this person I don't even recognise. I don't feel much, if any respect from him. We are meant to be going away this weekend for his birthday with another couple. I have also taken photos of my room (I have my own) etc. to find someone to take over my lease if needed and I'm considering posting an advertisement this week.

Is it time?

**TL;DR** boyfriend owes money, puts himself first etc. Time to go?

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Told boyfriend's mom [50s F] that I'm [30s F] an atheist, she cried.

My boyfriend and I [30s M/F] took his mother and her husband [50s M/F] out for lunch Sunday as an early Mother's Day gift. Boyfriend and I have been together for 3-ish years and I have known his mom just as long. Mother and her husband are Christian, boyfriend and I are atheist. Until now, my relationship with his mom has been sort of "don't ask, don't tell" when it comes to my religion. She talks very openly of her beliefs and her various activities with her church. I bow my head and join hands respectfully during prayer in her home, and when they choose to pray in mine (typical mealtime prayer). She has occasionally invited me to church events that I respectfully decline.

Mom had one too many glasses of wine and she started talking about her son's fine genetics (it was a weird conversation) and we sort of laughed that the bloodline ends with us. It has never been a secret to her that we do not plan on having children. I try to keep the baby conversation light and to a minimum, historically.

This upset her and she bowed her head and reached across the table to hold our hands and pray silently. We held hands for many uncomfortable minutes while she quietly cried. (The poor waiter. If you are out there waiter, I am sorry! We feel god in this Chili's tonight!)

She took this already emotional moment to discuss some health problems she has been having, which made her more distraught. I think she is feeling her mortality a little bit. She cried some more.

I excused myself to the restroom. When I returned, my boyfriend excused himself to the restroom. While he was gone, Mom asked if she could ask me a personal question. I sort of awkwardly laughed and told her yes, but only if she stopped crying. I don't think she appreciated my joke. She asked very plainly, "Do you believe in Christ?" I'm sure my eyes got wide - I was raised by Christian parents, one of whom is now an atheist, and I identified as a Christian for some of my young adult life. I have not called myself Christian in more than a decade. I said that I did at one time, trying to spare her feelings and not make an already uncomfortable situation worse. But of course that isn't really what she was asking, so she asked again and I simply shook my head no. She said she had so hoped that I did, and I said, "I know." We sat in silence while she welled up again.

At this point my boyfriend returned and soon we saw ourselves out. In the car I learned that while I was in the restroom she grilled him on children and marriage. (He would like to get married, I am on the fence.)

I don't know what advice I'm looking for here. The whole thing was such a mess. My boyfriend is angry with his mom now for sort of making a scene, and for making me uncomfortable. I feel bad that I made her upset, but I could not in good conscience lie to her face when asked a direct question. Now I am the godless whore who won't make an honest man out of her son nor provide her with grandchildren.

There is so much that I could explain to her - my religious upbringing, my reasons for choosing atheism, my complete acceptance of her religious choices! I feel like so much was left unsaid, but I can't exactly sit in a restaurant all day and tell my life story to a woman who probably doesn't care to hear it. I'm worried now that she's dwelling on this information and making assumptions about me because I didn't elaborate. I wish I had said something about this being a conversation we should have and not just a yes or no answer. Or about how I am still the same person I have always been despite this "new" information. It was never a secret that I am an atheist, we just never brought it up, for better or worse - her son and I have lived together in sin for years!

She texted yesterday morning to blame her emotions on menopause and to say, "sorry you got caught up in it!" I responded that I know menopause can be trying, and that I hope she had a good Mother's Day lunch, regardless.

I guess my question is this - should I broach further conversation with her about my (lack of) religious beliefs? Should I wait until she brings it up again? I really want to maintain a positive relationship with her. Looking for advice on how/when/what to say, if I should say anything at all!

TL;DR - Told boyfriend's mom that I'm an atheist, she cried. What do?

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Have you reached that age when you start to think you'll never get married?

I'm 25, about to turn 26 in December. A lot of you might say I'm still young but I feel old. I've been in 2 serious relationships where we were close to getting married and both have failed. A huge majority of girls my age are either already in relationships, married, have kids (not that there's anything wrong with that. It's just personally not for me. I don't want to deal with baby daddies or kids that aren't mine), they aren't into me or I'm not into them. I'm just at a point where I think i need to just accept that I won't ever have a loving wife and kids, which sucks because its what I want most in life. Are any of you guys or girls at that point in life?

TLDR my love life sucks lol

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My [32M] fiancée [30F] called earlier and told me that she hasn’t been happy for some time. The wedding is in 6 weeks but I think this may be it...

So my fiancée called me earlier, and basically said that she hasn’t been happy for some time. We’re going to talk later when we’re both home (I have left work for the day, this is too much to deal with) but it’s not sounding great. I’ll give a bit of background but would like to hear if anyone went through something similar before their wedding day, and what the outcome was?

We’ve been together since 2015 and been engaged a year. We haven’t been intimate in quite a while but we’ve both put that down to her meds - she has a number of mental health issues and the meds she’s on do have a side effect of reducing libido. I’ve also put a lot of her behaviour down to her depression (and other things) of late, but when I suggested on the phone earlier that the way she is feeling is linked to either her depression or her meds (numbing her feelings, which they do) she was adamant that was not the case.

I love her, and she says she loves me. But I basically got out of her that she is not attracted to me any more. I thinks it’s a case of she love me, but is not in love with me.

Don’t know what else to say really. I’m sure there’s tonnes of things I could write about that maybe I have been linking to her depression etc but that are actually just that she’s unhappy with me. I’m also terrified that this is actually all just symptoms of her MH issues and/or the meds and that she’ll do something that she later regrets. Any anecdotes of similar experiences are welcome. I’m feeling pretty gutted and empty right now. And I’m supposed to be getting married next month :|

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TL;DR; : 6 weeks out from my wedding and I think my fiancée might be breaking up with me. Advice from similar situations welcome.

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Me (25m) and my gf (22f) are on a break and I don't know ow what to do

We have been together for coming up to 2 years. She was a friend of a friend, who introduced us when she was doing study abroad (Trans Atlantic long distance) we hit it off, then spent the next 6 months talking causally, before I went to visit her when I was next in the States.

At the end of the two weeks we decided to make it official and exclusive. The subsequent 2 years were the best of my life, I took a number of trips out there as I was fortunate with a work schedule that gave me a bunch of holiday.

In October I took a new job, that would ensure I could actually save, still travel (but less frequently) and build for our future. She has been with the same company since we met, in a high pace industry and isn't as fortunate with time off, having only visited me twice since the beginning (I'm on trip 7/8)

Just after a Christmas trip, thing's began to get more icey out of the blue, she wouldnt ring/text as much, wouldn't ask how I was, wouldn't give me the attention I had enjoyed for the last 2 years.

We acknowledged we had issues, I love messages, texts, reassurances, she loves physical contact. We talked about how to reduce these where we could, I bought her any and every sex toy she wanted, and got a bit more attention here and there.

Things went well for a few months until we were seemingly back to square one, she would ghost for a day or so and then just say "sorry works been busy", our arguments became petty again, but would clear up quickly, and when we facetimed she would pretend to be falling asleep but then still be online 2 hours later.

It all came to a head at the weekend when I woke up to a text of "I love you, wanna facetime later?" the kind of text and love I had been begging for the last few months and thought that she had seen the light again and things would be on the up.

Boy was I fucking wrong...

The Facetime she had mentioned was one in which she told me it had all become too much and she needed time and space to work out where and what she wants in life. I suggested other options but she was certain and had obviously put a lot of thought into it.

I am now left empty, wondering what to do, if she'll come back, or if this it and am at a loss, I took yesterday off work to get my head straight and exercise, but to no avail. I feel like an empty shell, with questions that won't be answered until time has passed/ she knows what she wants. And I both dread with fear but hold so much hope for that day and I just don't know where or what to do with myself besides run to the bathroom at work and cry every half an hour.

I've deleted all my social media accounts as I can't bare the thought of seeing her out partying but now I'm left best friend, girlfriend, future wife less for an indeterminate amount of time and have nowhere to turn.

(Writing this has helped me out 100x over though)

*bolded TL;DR - Girlfriend of two years started blowing hot then cold the past few months. She wanted to take a break, and now I'm at a loss

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