Do you want to know what a healthy relationship looks like? You know so often we spend time talking about the relationships, which are really not going well. That there is conflict in them. The constant fighting, there's feelings of no trust and that's pretty clear that's not a healthy relationship. We should talk about “what a healthy relationship does look like”. I want you to consider this first, imagined your relationship with somebody very close to you might be up your mother, your father, brother, sister, a friend or person that you're dating your spouse whoever it might be. That person you regard as more important than you in the relationship. Imagine what it would feel like if they were regarding you as more important to them than they themselves that's called sacrificial. Sacrificial means that I will give up sometimes my desires in my wants for the other person, nothing draws the heart of the other person emotionally better than me caring more about that of the person. Now you might be saying what about me that's a fair question, do you know that if you really care about that person sacrificially, you will so draw them to want to feel and do the same thing for you. That they will become sacrificial because you are sacrificial. Now you may say well what if I do that and they just take more and more from me, then I'm going to suggest to you that that person is struggling with something in their lives. Where it's causing problems between the two of you and they're having trouble trusting, what your motives are and cut getting closer with you. Those things playing out has more to do with them than it does you. The other things that I want to want you to consider a healthy relationship are there not to be controlling. The other person is not to make demands of you to the point. You don't even know who you are that you're more a robot to what their expectations are then you are with your own freedom and liberty. The best relationships the healthiest are those where you have Liberty with one and there that you get to be you they get to be themselves. when someone starts encroaching upon your liberty or you start to feel smothered by the fact that they're over involved in your life or their words are condescending or controlling and what they expect from you and you start to challenge or fear the things that you might say because of what they may do that's not healthy. I want to stay with what healthy, that they'll listen to you they'll hear you, they'll want to hear as much or more about who you are, what's important to you. How your day was then even themselves that they will draw you out. If it's all one way we're doing all the talking naturally you're going to feel like you're the one giving and they're the ones receiving. A healthy relationship is reciprocal. You’re feeling is if you're getting almost as much in return from them as you're giving in the relationship that's reciprocal or mutual. That you don't need a slide rule or you don't need a calculator but you know that when you're giving in the relationship that you're getting about the fair amount in return. You shouldn't they'll be put down in a relationship, nor should you put the other person down. You should not get personal with them say things to them that would make them question their importance to you. Make them question their intelligence. You know you can even say phrases where you don't say to the person you're stupid but you can make them feel stupid. By the way, you interact with them like, I can't believe you didn't know that now you didn't say they were stupid but they felt stupid you with you and I feel the same way when that happens. So we're not to overpower them were to give them liberty or freedom to be who they are we are to be real in the relationship not concealed. We are, to be honest, forthright transparent not deceptive not beguiling. Ever hear that term beguiling, you know what that means that means that there's so much deceit in the relationship either in the other person or me that you can you have trouble determining which part is true which part is a lie. you see that's what beguiling is it's a piece of truth mixed with a lie that worst kind of line because the truth will engage the person but the lie will bind them and make them feel under control. So the healthy relationships have a feeling or desire to lift up the other person more than lifting up yourself and a realness about them and not controlling and giving Liberty to that person. The mutual exchange where you know as much about them as you want them to know about you. Being real not only an intellect but also of heart and emotion. being truthful real when you're hurting not just when you're excited truthful about when you're alone when you feel alone when you're afraid when you feel depressed when you're angry all of that is part of the realness of a healthy relationship.
