7 Mistakes You Are Doing Unconsciously to Push Him Away

Either it is a new relationship or a friendship, the beginning feels like the entrance to heaven.

As time goes on, like within a week or so, that exact heaven feels like hell. And you fail to decide the right course of action – what to do and what not to do.

At one side, you think of getting rid of him, feeling like you had enough and it’s time to end the whole thing. On the other hand, as soon as he calls, all your getting-rid-of-it-thinking flushes down the drain, and you talk like nothing ever happened.

This is because you do not want to appear weak. But deep down, it does affect you, and you are helpless to do anything. And, it’s not a onetime thing. Instead,  you discover a repeated pattern – a non-ending cycle whenever you fall in love.

But, from now on, you won’t get caught in emotional chaos anymore. There are seven reasons why you always screw-up at relationships even after doing each right thing. These are the same reasons responsible for pushing your crush away from you.

Here’s the list of mistakes you often make unconsciously to push him away – 

1. You start working on his opinions

How many people are there in your life who keep giving you suggestions? Of course, they are doing it for your welfare, but you know well what’s good and what’s not. So, you pick what’s right for you and discard the others. And that keeps your relationships just fine.

But, when it comes to die-hard crush, there is neither right nor wrong. Your heart keeps following your crush’s suggestions because you want to impress them and that is exactly where you are wrong.

Personal example –

One of my best friends keeps suggesting to me what to wear. And I do follow him. But as I have noticed, whenever I wear what he wants, he neither pays attention to me nor compliments my looks. It doesn’t affect me much because he is just a friend. But, for the sake of my research, I do like to conduct experiments.

So, one day I wore clothes that looked best on my body and something I enjoyed wearing. As soon as I met him, he was like wow, you look hot today. Ooh la la, there I got my answer.

From that day, I made a note of doing what I want and what suits best on my body instead of walking on others opinions, even if he is someone I love.

“The more you follow others, the more you lose your own identity. So stop getting in the trap of impressing others and be your true self.”

The simple reason behind this is others don’t know you, the way you know yourself, since years. 

2. You give too much, and you are happy with too little in return

Personal example –

One day, my friend was complaining about someone she had a crush on. She and her crush are childhood friends. During the last two years, they got close with each other as they were both alone in their lives. Her problems started from there on. She always complains about how they were going out frequently before all it started. And now, all she hears from him is – I am too busy.

Still, she is proud of him because he calls once in a week to check out how she is doing.

How should I tell her that he is calling you once in a week to make sure that you don’t go anywhere, no matter how much he avoids you. Or worst, take you for granted.

Here’s how it works. Let’s say I earn $100 within 1 hour, and it quickly covers my expenses for a week. What’s the need to earn more? Same goes in a relationship. When he catches you being satisfied with so little, he thinks like what’s the need to offer more?

Generally, it happens in the case when he is sure that you are free all the time and don’t go out much which makes him think that you are available for him. We are going to discuss it soon. 

3. You don’t have your own life

Personal example –

It has been a year since I am at home or let’s say jobless. I used to cancel some plans made by friends and my crush, to take care of my responsibilities at my job. I was going to the gym regularly as well and wasn’t ready to cancel it for anyone. And they were making those plans as per my schedule and their too. What an excellent way to keep relationships in rhythm.

Trust me, in those days, I was receiving great respect from my friends as well as my crush.

Now, since I am at home, I can feel that respect doesn’t exist anymore. Not because I left the job, but because I stopped living my life. I ended going to the gym, library, or other public places. As soon as, I realized this, I decided to get back on track. I started working out, picked up my writing habit, and other activities.

All these are a combination of what’s necessary for my life. But this wasn’t enough to get my respect back. There is more. 

4. You cancel your plans to be with him

Personal example –

I was always said “Yes” to plans, timings, and selected days made by my friends. I was quick to cancel all my plans just to spend some time with friends and my crush. This behavior dragged me to the taken-for-granted zone. After a few months of non-respect, things started making sense to me.

From that moment onwards, I learned to say “No” to my friends and be committed to my plans. For e.g. I never cancel my gym just to be with anyone. Also, I put fix hours for my writing, determined enough not to look anywhere else.

To make sure I am not making a mistake. I recently performed the same thing on my best friend. Not forcefully, but the right moment just arrived. He wanted to meet me on Saturday, and I told him I am busy till Sunday because my mom needs me. I explained the genuine reason. On Sunday night, I received a message from him telling me how much he is missing me.

Something came out of the blue for me. If someone wants to go out with me, we together decide to meet on a decided day based on mutual convenience.

Note: Don’t use this technique to manipulate someone as it will just backfire. Do it when there is a genuine reason. 

5. Forget about your boundaries

Personal example –

This is something every dating adviser suggests, but I never bothered to read what does it actually mean. I just assumed it might be similar to setting boundaries like I won’t have sex until he says “I love you”, etc. But as I was already struggling with relationships, I thought lets read about it and have a clear idea of what is it.

Turns out that having boundaries is not about deciding not to have sex, it’s about telling others clearly what you won’t accept.

I know when it comes to our crush we are just ready to drop our boundaries because all our focus is behind getting him like us. But the results will be the opposite. When you don’t have boundaries, nobody is going to care about what you want or what not. He will keep shooting at you with whatever he likes. And you keep facing anxiety or stress because you are not ready to lose him at the cost of your standards.

That will make things worse.

So, don’t bother about something he did that you didn’t like. Gather the courage to tell him clearly but politely. And if he continues to do the same, stop dating him.

“If he can’t respect your boundaries, stop respecting him.” 

6. You just can’t let it go

Personal example –

Once upon a time, I had a crush on a handsome guy. I did everything to make him attracted to me. Eventually, he became my friend. We decided to meet outside, but it never happened. Each time he was making excuses to cancel the plans. And he was not apologetic about it at all.

Instead of taking it as a cue that he just doesn’t want to go out with me, I still tried. Later, I came to know that he is already engaged.

See, the problem was there in him, not in me. What if I had let him go? I must have avoided all the unnecessary anxiety. And instead of focusing on him, I must have focused on enjoying my own life.

Recently, something similar happened again, and I let it go. I put my focus on my life while getting many “Sorry” calls from him. 

7. You are judging his each move

“What does that mean? Just a “Hi”? Are you serious? Why did he cancel that plan? Maybe he is not into me? He calls me every week, why didn’t he call this week? Why does it happen to me all the time? Maybe there is some problem with me?”

Seriously, just shut that loud thinking and ask yourself, what would be your response, if anyone of your family members doesn’t call you for a long time? Will, you wreck-havoc the same way?

Not at all.

What would you do is make a call to find out whether everything is fine or not? And you will get your answer. No judging, no analyzing and your relationship is fine.

Same goes with your crush or boyfriend. If something is not happening doesn’t mean something is wrong. It can also mean that there must be some change in his schedule.

Why not just call, ask and be done with it?

Take away

Just remember not to over think about him and center your life around him. If thoughts are coming, let them come, but don’t forget to live your life.

Surround yourself with things that you like to do and don’t cancel your plans unless there is an emergency. And most important, don’t bother by something you didn’t like, just say it clearly.

The post 7 Mistakes You Are Doing Unconsciously to Push Him Away appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2T7qYKw

How to Be Intimate Without Having Sex?

True intimacy with another occurs when we’re attentive, at ease, and in the moment.

You get to be who you are, and your partner gets to be who they are. Whether you’re in the bedroom, at a family gathering, or chatting on the phone — together, you create a communion. I believe we make that communion possible when we embrace and practice the five elements of intimacy – honor, trust, allowance, vulnerability, and gratitude. 

1. Honor

See honor as your bedrock. In essence, it means treating your partner with regard, respect, and kindness. Does that sound a little too obvious?

Here’s the thing –  to truly honor your partner, you have to really know them.

We tend to draw conclusions about how to enrich our partner’s life based on our perception of who they are — which may be skewed — or what they’ve needed from us in the past. Could your view on how to honor your partner be outdated?  

What if you really start to be present with your partner? What if you choose to be attentive and seek understanding by listening, asking questions … and listening some more?

A quick and important note –

Honor yourself too — treat yourself with regard, respect and kindness. This is not an either/or situation. You can be aware of what you require at the same time as what your partner requires. 

2. Trust

Usually, when we talk about trust in terms of a relationship, we mean that we trust the other person won’t hurt or upset us. That version of trust is very conditional. Here’s a different perspective –

Trust that your partner knows what’s right for them.

This means accepting them as they are, not as you want them to be. Trust dovetails nicely with honor, because it’s in the process of honoring your partner that you see who they are more fully.

What if the next time your partner makes a choice you don’t immediately understand, you don’t judge them. Instead, you accept they know exactly what they’re doing.

Sound tricky? It requires allowance — let’s look at that next. 

3. Allowance

In allowance, everything that occurs, and everything a person says or chooses is interesting. Even when you don’t agree with someone’s choice, you’re not hurt or offended. This is because you’re stepping away from the idea of a right or wrong way to think, be, do or act. In other words, you’re stepping away from judgment.

Choosing to reduce judgment, or eliminate it entirely, is so freeing. 

A life and a relationship without judgment is spacious, fulfilling and joyous. This is a huge area so if it feels interesting to you, read more here.

Please note, being in allowance doesn’t make you a doormat. That is impossible while you’re practicing element one which is ‘honoring you’.

What if the next time your partner makes a choice you don’t understand, you trust them (as in element two) and then ask, “Why?” Not in an accusatory way, but to further understand them and build those levels of intimacy? 

4. Vulnerability

We avoid being vulnerable because we’re afraid that if we take our barriers down, we’ll be lacking in some way and possibly abandoned. In truth, the soft, authentic space of vulnerability is the perfect territory in which to build intimacy.

In vulnerability, you’re not pretending to be who you think your partner wants you to be. Instead, you’re allowing them to see and accept you for who you truly are.

What if you allow your partner to see all of you-you without make-up, you on a tough day, you when you feel down?

And then… don’t expect them to fix you or how you feel. This allows you to receive whatever they can gift to you, free of expectations. 

5. Gratitude

My take on gratitude is that it’s actually greater than love. Love is based on judgment, and in that way it’s conditional. This is something similar to the traditional view of trust.

Take a look at this:

I love you because you make me laugh, buy thoughtful gifts, and you share the housework and childcare.

And compare it to this:

I’m grateful for your awesome sense of humor, your ability to choose just the right gift, and that you contribute to the running of the house and our family.

By adding gratitude, those statements become something so much greater. The emphasis and the energy totally shifts — it’s more open, and less constricted and conditional.

What if you wrote a list of what you’re grateful for about your partner and shared that list with them? What if you made a list of what you’re grateful for about you, too?

See these five elements offer a new way to be with each other, allowing you to create your relationship in a way that’s unique and a gift to both of you. You chose each other,  and now, is the time to enjoy each other?

Is it time to create something sensational?

The post How to Be Intimate Without Having Sex? appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2tHsiof

10 Signs of How to Marry the Right Person

These days marriage is not less than a gamble.

You may know a person since ages but still might end up with a wrong person. And sometimes, you may end up with the right person despite knowing them for a while. It’s a lifetime commitment and you don’t want to make any mistake.

Marrying the right person can bring in happiness and a sense of satisfaction in your life. They can support you to be a better person. They will be with you in good and in bad. However, being with a wrong person will bring out the worst in you.

Let’s find out how to marry the right person

1. Life is full of happiness

When you’ll be with the right person, you’ll be at peace.

There surely will be some arguments and different opinions or perspective, but that won’t disturb your mental content. You may not realize it but your body and your soul surely does.

Not everyone provides us such a feeling of content or happiness. So, if you’re wondering who is the right person for you? Observe your body language and listen to your heart. It knows all.

2. Spending an amazing time together and apart

Foremost, you would love to spend time with the right person. Obviously, you won’t like to hand out with someone you don’t like. However, this special person would be more than friends to you.

You both would enjoy doing things together. It could be just watching a movie together or taking a walk in the park. It doesn’t matter. Their presence and spending time with them would matter.

Furthermore, even if you both are not together, it won’t bother you much. For instance, your partner decides to spend some time with their friend. You would be absolutely fine with it. The reason being your heart knows that you both are committed to each other.

You like to see them happy as their happiness brings a smile on your face.

3. Emotional support that you long wanted

How to marry the right person? Marry someone who not only brings a smile on your face but also supports you emotionally. It’s not that we all long for it, but this is what we all want in our life, someone who can support us mentally and emotionally.

The right person will give you that support.

They will stand next to you in good and in bad. You will reach out to them whenever you need any support. The trust and the belief that they’re there would mean a lot to you.

4. Paying attention to you

Let’s admit it that we love when people pay attention.

When someone is taking care of us or is ensuring that we are in comfort, means a lot to us.

The right person will take care of your comfort and will give attention to the minute details.

For instance, how you want your coffee to be, what pisses you off or what brings a smile on your face. Marry the person who is such attentive towards your comfort.

5. Understand you better than you do yourself

Wouldn’t it be better to be with someone who understands you so well that you don’t say anything? It would be amazing, isn’t it?

Well, your Mr/Ms. Right would know you much better than anyone else. They would be great at reading your body language, would know how you would react to a certain situation, and will be able to read your eyes and listen to your silence.

These things matter the most in a relationship. Being with a person makes life worth living.

6. You trust them with your life

It’s not easy to trust someone.

We trust only a few people in our whole life, parents and life partners are amongst them. So, if you trust someone with your life, it means they are the right person for you.

Trusting someone is a natural instinct. It comes naturally. Look for this sign and if you think you have that trust on your would-be partner, then you’re lucky to have them.

7. The go-to person

We don’t share our personal happiness or sorrow or problems with everyone.

We rush to someone close to us. If there is one person you go to first during the happiest or the saddest time, then you’ve found the right person. You do not realize it but you’ve to observe it and see whom do you reach out during such events.

8. Accept the way they are

We always have a certain amount of expectations from each person around us.

Maybe we want them to dress up a certain way. Or want them to behave a certain way. However, it’s not quite possible to accept the person the way they are. When you’ve found the right person, you would accept in wholesome.

You might not see anything wrong in them. You would find them perfect, just perfect.

9. Common goal or aspiration

Wondering how to marry the right person? See if you both share a goal or aspiration.

The right partner will help you achieve your dreams and will support you in every possible way. They are there to support you and push you. They bring out the best in you. This doubles up if you both have similar personal and professional goals.

10. Amazing sex

Sex can’t be ignored in a relationship. 

Physical intimacy is as important as emotional or mental intimacy. When you’re mentally and emotionally happy with a person you tend to enjoy your sex. Also, both of you don’t hesitate to experiment in the bed. Amazing sex will bring you both close to each other, no matter what.

The post 10 Signs of How to Marry the Right Person appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2SDjrOE

7 things to Know During an Intercultural Marriage

Marriage is never the union of two individuals.

It is, in fact, the union of two families. It is easier to accept the new family when they’re from within the community. However, the dynamics change in intercultural marriage.

Here, both the families have to understand the new culture, adapt to it and welcome them with open arms.

There is a lot of pressure in case of intercultural marriages.

All these pressures come down to couples who have agreed for this union. Listed below are some ways that will help you manage those pressures and will guide you on how to make the marriage work. 

1. Embrace the differences

When you marry someone from a different culture, you enter an unknown world.

Suddenly you would be introduced to a lot of norms that you were unaware of. This, at once, might come to you as culture shock, but understand that it’s your world now. The best way to cherish this change is to understand the differences and accept them the way they are.

You will take time to understand the new culture and that’s okay.

Don’t expect everything to fall into the place overnight. Speak to your partner to understand the differences and try to understand them. Mistakes will happen initially, but that’s fine.

The best way to accept the difference is to open up completely to it. 

2. Educate yourself

You don’t want to have a failed marriage because of a different culture, do you?

The way to escape this is to educate and explore the partner’s values and cultures as closely as possible. Speak about your partner’s childhood days, their experience of growing up, their family and about their prior relationships.

Asking such questions help you understand each other better. You would know from where they’re coming from. The moment you educate yourself about each other’s culture and embrace it, the better your marriage will turn out. 

3. Paying equal attention to both the cultures

Every culture has own customs and rules. In the intercultural marriage there is always a threat of losing out on some of the customs.

Couples are generally pulled up by both the families as they expect them to religiously follow their customs.

This could be hard for couples as saying no won’t help and following multiple things might confuse them and their children. This is where their conscience comes to play.

As a parent, you certainly don’t want your child to follow just one culture. To avoid confusion and to keep everyone happy, list down what’s important from both the cultures and follow those.

Choosing the middle path won’t be easy, but you must do it. 

4. Learn the language to communicate in a better way

One may not realize it initially, but the language barrier can be a problem if you’re married outside of your culture.

During dates or while you were seeing each other, things were fine but when you have to stay with someone who doesn’t speak your language, communicating may get difficult.

The solution to this could be that you learn each other’s language. Learning each other’s language has two main benefits. One, you can communicate well with each other. Second, you have a normal conversation with your in-laws and the extended family.

The chances to get accepted fast by your in-laws will increase if you will speak their language.

Don’t let communication barrier come in between both of you. 

5. Have patience

Don’t expect things to be better and normal immediately. You both may be putting efforts to don’t let the culture barrier come in between your married life, but things won’t fall in place from the beginning. You will stumble and may fall, but you have to keep on trying. Patience is the key after all.

It’s always a challenge to adjust in a new culture all of a sudden.

There will be time when you’re not sure what to do or may curse yourself for making the mistake, but don’t give up. Learning something new takes time. Keep on trying and maintain a pace. Eventually, you will master everything and things will be fine. 

6. Discuss how to make it work

Before you marry your partner from a different culture, sit and discuss how you guys are planning to make things work.

A perfect coordination and communication between the both of you is important. You both will be venturing into a new cultural zone and will be learning a lot of new things.

It is not going to be an easy journey at all.

You both will be put through a lot of test and scrutiny during the initial years of your marriage. You both should stand next to each other and guide one another whenever needed.

So, speak about it and draw a plan on how you guys will make your intercultural marriage a success. 

7. Learn to be tolerant

Not all culture is perfect.

There will be times when you wouldn’t agree to a certain custom or ritual. Putting forth your views and trying to put your point why it is not right may escalate the situation negatively.

Learn to be tolerant.

During an intercultural marriage, you must learn to respect each other’s culture and rituals. It comes with acceptance. And when you’re accepting your partner’s culture, then there is no need to question their logic.

It is not right to put logic at the front all the time. Sometimes, let emotions lead to make this marriage work.

The post 7 things to Know During an Intercultural Marriage appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2T6Fr9n

How to Find the Perfect Spouse or Partner

Finding the perfect spouse or partner is not like finding the perfect person to spend a lonely summer with.

It means finding a person who you can love and grow old with a person you see yourself loving forty, fifty, and more years down the road.

Finding and choosing a person you want to marry and spend your life with is an extremely difficult decision, and is one which requires some serious responsibility, and a lot of honesty and forethought.

But all the hard work will certainly pay off once you find that special someone and start living a life of happiness!

Finding the perfect partner isn’t about luck, but about setting a goal and striving to achieve it.

The following tips can surely help you find the right spouse or partner  

1. Love yourself

One of the simplest ways of finding a spouse and to ensure that you’ve committed yourself to the right person for the right reasons is to love yourself before finding a person to spend the rest of your life with.

Loving yourself doesn’t mean that you have to be a 100% happy with who you are, but if you are unhappy with yourself, it might be possible that you get into a relationship with someone just because that person makes you feel good about yourself.

Of course, the person you choose to spend your life with should complete you, making you feel whole as an individual, but it’s also important that you love yourself so that you can fully appreciate when the person you want to marry makes you feel even better!

In short, it is essential that you’re happy with who you are, how you look, and what you do.

This will not only boost your confidence, making it easier for you to attract people, but it will also help you find an equally amazing person who will certainly make your life better and happier, and not someone who is only there to fill the gaps in your unhappy life, when you are on the journey of finding a spouse. 

2. Be happy being alone

Being single when all your close friends are happily married, or dating is one of the worst feelings in the world.

You might long for love more than anything, and it’s perfectly natural to feel sad and lonely if you’re unable to find it. But, an important part of loving who you are is loving spending time with yourself.

It’s essential that you find different ways and things which keep you excited and interested without a significant other.

This will also help you feel even better about yourself when that special someone comes along!

Many people easily mistake companionship for love. If you feel sad and miserable by yourself, then you might be too easily swayed by anyone who enters your life and gives you something to do. 

3. Get some experience

If you are able to find your first love when you’re sixteen, then you’re a rare and an extremely lucky breed. However, many people don’t marry their first, second, or even their fifth girlfriend or boyfriend.

Dating multiple people helps you understand the different ways in which a relationship can work, and also helps you understand the endless dynamics and forms which a relationship can have.

This does not mean that you should leave the person you love just to see what’s out there.

But, if you feel that you’re just “pretty happy” with your companion and have never dated anyone else, then it’s better to try dating other people than to settle.

Dating multiple people also helps you learn how to compromise, and makes you even more sure that your future partner is ‘the one’ and what you feel for them is truly special.

Getting some sexual experience isn’t bad either.

If you’ve been with a few partners before meeting your special someone, it will help you be even surer that the chemistry between you is something truly special.

Also, if you decide to commit to the first person you’ve been with without ever being truly happy, you might spend the rest of your life wondering what could have happened if you hadn’t done so. 

4. Determine the qualities you’re looking for in a spouse

Although you might never know exactly who your soulmate is until you lock eyes with them and feel your entire world stopping, you can certainly consider the qualities you’re most looking for in your pursuit of finding a spouse.

Some of these qualities might be so important that you won’t even consider a person as a potential spouse if they don’t possess them.

The post How to Find the Perfect Spouse or Partner appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2IIPUDm

7 Inventive Ways to Cope up with an Unemployed Husband

Unemployment rates are high on the rundown as one of life’s stress-inducing and mentally exhausting events.

However, while the ramifications for those jobless are all well-documented, there’s another loss whose enduring is less frequently considered: the spouse.

While trying to help their significant other through what is a rough time, these women bear considerable mayhem themselves. Fortunately, there are many resources and guidance for those dealing with unemployment.

The couple can settle on the positive choice

Joblessness can leave an individual—and a couple—feeling overpowered, weak, unnerved. Indeed, the partner searching for work can pursue all the suggested ventures for getting that next job; however, it can be quite sometime before the husband secures the job.

Fortunately, in the meantime, the couple can settle on the positive choices that can, at last, reinforce their relationship.

Here are ways to cope with an unemployed husband 

1. Finding the right balance

Joblessness places strain on a marital relationship for obvious reasons.

Besides the financial strain joblessness puts on a family unit, a life partner who keeps on working faces their own issues in managing a distressed, depressed family breadwinner.

A spouse whose “optional” work is now a couple’s only source of income may all of a sudden shoulder the weight of paying bills. Moreover, they must also play the role of counselor and cheerleader to a traumatized, unsettled husband.

Any woman stuck in this situation walks a fine line between a caring helper and a mentor.

If you have a caretaker personality, you may need to watch a propensity to give your life partner consent to remain stuck in self-indulgence and inaction.

Meanwhile, if you push too much, you may risk coming off as cold and ruthless. 

2. Anticipate what’s coming

At the earliest opportunity after unemployment, you and your better half ought to take a seat together and strategize the pursuit of employment and talk about ways you can take off or possibly limit conflicts that accompany unemployment stress.

The days ahead aren’t going to be simple.

Set up your heads together to think of a “plan of attack” — because that is actually what you’ll have to deal with the sheer pressure that can undermine your relationship in these rough and harsh conditions. 

3. Don’t go too hard on each other

How to cope with an unemployed husband? To start with, practice an attitude that regards unemployment as a temporary— and manageable — circumstance.

The rehashed dismissal that runs with a pursuit of employment is hard.

However, the chances are that another activity will result in the long run if you both stay engaged and conscious in your journey. Keep a sound point of view.

Be open to what God may attempt to show you both through this experience. 

4. Uplift each other continuously

To cope with an unemployed husband, demand no less than one night in seven days when you can plan time alone or with your very own companions.

Help your significant other comprehend that the time you spend on yourself will enable you to be a better life partner when you’re as one — because it will. Indeed, even in the best of times, it’s great to develop your own side interests and interests. 

5. Life is a combination of good and bad days

How to cope with an unemployed husband?  The most important thing to do is acknowledge that you’ll have great days and terrible days.

On the great days, examine what makes them great and conceptualize approaches to keep up positive energy, hitting the sack at a sensible hour, rising together, morning exercise, supplication time, and so forth.

Keep up a daily practice however much as could reasonably be expected. Be commonly responsible, setting a day-by-day plan for both of you; prospective employee meetups, individual arrangements, tasks around the house, etc. 

6. Life goes on

Unemployment can make individuals need to pull back — yet abstain from ending up socially disengaged.

Keep on going to church and keep up social responsibilities amid the week. Offer what you’re proceeding with companions. You need to bolster now like never before — and in spite of what you may figure, companions will be respected by your craving to trust in them.

Plan activities that will help let off steam.

Get outside in the fresh air, ride a bike, enjoy a picnic; plan a time where you agree to put aside job worries and focus only on having fun.

Chill out and let positive energy radiate from the two parties. 

7. For the wife

Your spouse is confronting an extreme time; however, you are, as well.

Pray to God for the energy, sympathy, tolerance, and knowledge to get you through this testing season. Furthermore, recall; like every one of the seasons, this also will pass!

The post 7 Inventive Ways to Cope up with an Unemployed Husband appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2TokTbU

Feb 28, How to fix your relationship when your partner has CTE

Has your partner or spouse played contact sports? Complete guide to surviving Chronic Traumatic Encephalopathy (CTE).

from Your Mind and Relationship Guide Blog https://ift.tt/2Vl0NfY

5 Steps to Decluttering Your Home with a Partner

In most scenarios, offering unsolicited advice doesn’t go far. On the other hand, if you’re specifically looking for change or you’ve seen the change firsthand, you’re more likely to accept help.

Hence, if you and your partner are on different pages with decluttering, it’s important that you don’t try to force the other person to see things the way you do. 

1. Lead by example

Rather than trying to convince your partner why they should get involved with decluttering the home, showing them the benefits by being an example could be more effective.

For instance, you could declutter your clothes and sell all the items you no longer want. Your more organised closet and bigger wallet may be the motivation your partner needs. It’s important that while you’re the only one decluttering, you try to focus on your own things rather than trying to declutter your partner’s things or things that you should be making a joint decision on.

This will help avoid any potential disagreements and further resistance to decluttering. 

2. Find common ground

When asking your partner to help you with something, not only is it helpful to explain your own reasoning, it could be helpful to find common benefits.

For instance, you might find that when the home is messy and full of clutter, you feel stressed and overwhelmed. Being relaxed might allow you to be a better partner. Discuss what areas, rooms or items that both of you could benefit from decluttering.

For example, a clean kitchen might make cooking easier for your partner, or a clean garage might make it easier for both of you to find things when needed. 

3. Declutter together

Once you and your partner have decided why and what you want to declutter, you can figure out how to work together.

If your partner isn’t used to getting rid of things, it could be helpful for you to make decisions together for shared spaces or items such as the bathroom or DVDs. Marie Kondo’s ‘spark joy’ process is a good rule of thumb to follow.

In saying this, it could also be helpful for your partner to declutter particular things on their own once they’ve gotten a feel for how to tell if things ‘spark joy’.

This could be things like their own clothes, books or files. 

4. Compromise

Inevitably, you and your partner will reach points of disagreement during the decluttering process. Maybe your partner thinks they’ll use the guitar they haven’t touched eventually or you think you need all 5 pairs of black shoes.

It’s important to for both parties to be compassionate and empathetic.

Decluttering does require you to be logical and realistic.

However, something that doesn’t mean a lot to you might mean a lot to your partner, and vice versa. If you can’t seem to reach an agreement on whether an item should stay or go, you could set the item aside for the time being and come back to it later on. 

5. Reflect and evaluate

Whether you do it incrementally or after the entire decluttering process is finished, it’s important to reflect and evaluate with your partner.

Ask yourselves how it went, how you feel and how things could be done better in the future.

One of the most important things to discuss is how to keep things decluttered in the long run. This could involve putting a daily or weekly decluttering system in place so that things don’t get too out of hand.

It could also involve discussing purchasing habits and how to restrict buying items that end up being decluttered.

The post 5 Steps to Decluttering Your Home with a Partner appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2GNs9IF

6 Pivotal Points to Fight for Your Marriage

Marriage can never be a one-way path; it is never predictable. Marriage is an institution which never fails to amuse you with the many surprises that it withholds.

Marriage has never been the same kind of experience for every couple. Every couple has a different capacity to deal with challenging circumstances. Some people are persistent enough to navigate through the difficult phase smoothly while some struggle a lot in achieving the same.

Many couples come to a point where they need to fight for their marriage.

There are many examples where couples have to work really hard to rescue their failing marriage. It is no easy thing to come back to square one from such a complex phase of the relationship.

Couples that are willing to fight for their marriage are suggested to adopt these 6 habits: 

1. Be open to each other for all kinds of admissions

The first step towards eliminating all your disagreements and conflicts is to speak about them.

You can’t resolve anything by pouting for days and even months. Nothing can come to a peaceful conclusion with this kind of attitude.

Even if you had a number of ugly fights in the past, consider the fact that history is just to learn lessons from. Move ahead from your past and start a series of dialogue with each other again.

You basically need to voice your concerns and take each other in confidence.

Speak your mind with a rather constructive approach and let things flow. Just do not turn the faucet off in any case! 

2. Identify where the problem is

If you are at a stage where you ought to fight for your marriage, you must have been making grave mistakes, that too with repetition. You need to be considerate of the wrongs committed by you and the wrongs done to you by your life partner.

Now, you don’t need to lose your anger while making your partner understand his faults. You just need to be calm from the tip to toe, no finger-pointing at all; just voicing your grief in the most passive way possible.

Meanwhile, you need to be strong-willed to admit your grave sins to your partner. Make him feel better with just an admission.

Let him know that he is not alone bearing the guilt. 

3. Know the art of reconciliation

It is a skill to resolve severe conflicts.

In order to fight for your marriage, you need to master this very skill. After restarting dialogue, and admitting your mistakes, you need to look forward to having a reliable solution that will ultimately break the ice.

This is the time of negotiations. You need to let the ideas pop up. Sit together and decide what could be a permanent solution to each of your problems.

Pledge not to repeat the same traumatic episode of your married life. Bring a positive change, make necessary amendments, and stay resolute. 

4. Apologize sincerely and wholeheartedly

You need to cleanse your heart of all the toxic feelings you have been suffering.

In this case, you and your partner might be in the same boat. You need to feel each other’s anguish in the first place. If you can feel each other’s pain, then fighting for this marriage is totally worth it.

At one point of time or other, you would have hurt your partner, either in retaliation or as a result of incitement.

Giving someone emotional wounds is not justified no matter what. Extend the sincerest and truest apology to your partner.

A plain sorry is not going to be enough, make every inch of you convey the apology. 

5. Vow to spend quality time with each other

Once toxic things come to an end, you need to reminisce the good old days. You should be aspiring to give each other the best of your time.

Make each other the top priority in your lives and spend some quality hours every day.

Go for a long drive, have a romantic dinner, or sit by the seashore with your feet wet. Consider every option that looks feasible for both of you.

If you want to rescue your sinking marriage, better know it’s important to have quality time with romance in the air. 

6. Never let the same conflicts surface again

You should remain alert of the demons all the time.

It is no child’s play to rescue marriage from falling apart. You should note down things that almost destroyed your marriage and took away your peace of mind. These things are a big no-no!

Certain habits should be brought to an end, certain demands and expectations should not come in between both the partners, and an ego clash should be out of the question after a difficult process of reconciliation.

The post 6 Pivotal Points to Fight for Your Marriage appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2EAtkZm

6 Things That Guarantee a Good Marriage

Marriage is an interesting bond that multiplies all the happiness, delights, and charms of life. It is not different than the roller coaster which makes one go through various experiences; all unique from one another.

Marriage is an institution which continues to evolve with the passage of time.

This social partnership has to be invested in for its growth. This bond can be inexplicably beautiful if it is given due attention and regard.

There are a number of things that tend to make it bitter, and there are a couple of things that make it better. A marriage must keep a balance between these two ends to last long.

Let us shed some light upon things that make a marriage thrive 

1. Acknowledge and praise

Great couples always acknowledge each other’s efforts for a hale and happy relationship.

They do not shy away from going all praise for even the smallest efforts they make for a stable and forever-lasting relationship.

If your partner buys you a bunch of flowers, does not forget to call you during lunch break, or if he cooks you your favorite meal on the weekend; all these little but cute efforts are worth an applause.

You should acknowledge and admire these things coming your way if you are a good spouse. 

2. Give each other personal space

It is very important to allow each other some room for a healthy and conflict-free marriage.

None of the two partners should be overly possessive about each other; none of them should be clinging to one another all the time. Privacy should be respected at any and every cost.

People who want themselves involved in everything their partner does usually have some trust issues. Such people in a certain kind of situation dare to clip their partner’s wings to keep them restrained.

This unhealthy mindset can wreak havoc upon the relationship. 

3. Remain patient during tough arguments

Arguments are always welcomed.

Healthy and constructive arguments should never be discouraged. It does not do any damage to the relationship in progress. In fact, sweet arguments can add a lot of flavor to the marriage.

However, arguments should not turn into ugly and abusive fights.

Some couples get each other from the scuff of their necks when there is something to argue about. Healthy couples never do the same. They remain patient even when angst could be the only way out. 

4. Be a team against the odds

Couples are not meant to fight each other. They are meant to fight the world with each other in consent; they are supposed to be the strongest team against any opposition.

Couples always need to be on the same page and be considerate of their mutual goals.

If they act like they are worlds apart, they are no more a team.

If both the partners team up against the challenges life throws at them, they can survive any situation.

The stronger, the better! 

5. Celebrate each other’s success

Some couples become jealous of each other’s success in professional life. For instance, if one of the two partners is having a massively successful career while the other is barely having anything important to do in the office, it can evoke a sense of insecurity in the weaker partner.

Both the partners should, in fact, enjoy each other’s success instead of being insecure or jealous. Anyone at their career’s peak would need their partner’s support to keep thriving. 

6. Stand in each other’s shoes!

Best couples are those who understand each other really well, and not those who madly love each other. A quintessential couple understands the verbal and non-verbal language they speak to each other.

You can fall head over heels for anyone if you have intensity in your marriage, but for stability in the same marriage, you got to have a good understanding with each other.

Couples should be ready to make compromises wherever needed as a result of mutual understanding.

The post 6 Things That Guarantee a Good Marriage appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2Tk3ctV

5 Crucial Dating Facts for Marital Life

To date, a person doesn’t mean spending time with a person of the opposite sex.

Time can be spent well, but to enjoy your time with someone is the main purpose of dating. You can date your girlfriend or boyfriend, your wife or your husband.

So, dating actually means to spend some valuable time with the person you want to be with, that is, the loved one in your life. But how can you date a person?

Is dating necessary?

The answer is yes.

Not only before marriage but also after marriage, dating can have a positive effect on the life of the two individuals. Before marriage, dating provides people with a chance to get to know each other. They have a chance to discuss their lives that they dream of living.

After marriage, when people go on dates, they have a chance to spend as much time as needed with their spouse.

Positive aspects of dating

Let’s see what the positive aspects of dating are and how they affect the marital life of people leading the relationship to health and prosperity. 

1. Better communication

Communication plays an important role in the life of people.

It helps people convey their own points to others, and also allows the interaction between people and let them understand each other with ease.

So, in a relationship, communication is a plus point that dating can provide. When going out on a date, couples have a chance to share their aspects in a new enchanted environment. They discuss matters and try communicating softly, calmly and with love, and try avoiding arguments. 

2. Eliminating stress out of life

A date provides people with a chance to eliminate stress out of life.

Well, if you are thinking about how this is possible, the answer is, through communication. A date provides a more comfortable and romantic environment, hence compelling couple to be more comfortable with one another and discuss more of the issues and problems.

So, they are able to exchange ideas, emotions, sincere advice, and solutions to the problems with ease. Thereby, this decreases the stress in their lives. 

3. A feeling of newness in relationship

Everyone loves to remember the day when they met someone special that made their life beautiful and extraordinarily fantastic.

Dating for marriage provides the chance to make such memories clear to you and your spouse. You can match the event by decorating the hall or simply a table or your room with the things that are relatable to that special day.

Surprise your spouse with the decoration which takes them to the same day when you both met for the first time. This brings novelty and newness in the relationship and makes the bond between you two stronger than ever before. 

4. Commitment and trust

Dating for marriage will allow you both to exchange more of the ideas and solutions to problems that either of you are going through thereby, strengthening your trust on each other, allowing you to believe upon and lay your back on your spouse in the time of difficulty.

Both of you will understand each other and try to help each other in need. The bond will become stronger and everlasting. 

5. Romance is kindled

Dating for marriage will allow the establishment of a more romantic relationship between you and your spouse.

It is a general fact that when people communicate with each other and know each other, a kind of co-liking is created between them.

So, go on a date with your spouse and spend time with them, share all good memories, watch movies together, eat together and talk about the love; surely there will be some kind of mutual emotional connection created that will bring both of you closer to each other and let you love each other more intensely. The romance will seem to be everlasting.

The post 5 Crucial Dating Facts for Marital Life appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2Xv903k

Easy Steps to Making to 5+ Years of Marriage

Marriage is the most intimate bond formed between two people. It is the relation which is to be maintained throughout their lives. There are a lot of instances in life where relations break apart resulting in the failure of marriages.

However, it is not so hard to maintain your relationship. What is required of the partners is just a little effort and time to keep their marriage smooth and free of all the conflicts and pave way for a healthy 5+ years of marriage.

Below are some of the measures that can save your marriage, or can make yours an ideal one.

Ways of maintaining a marriage and making it to 5+ years of marriage 

1. Express your emotions to the partner

For a healthy 5+ years of marriage, it is too important for both the partners to express to each other what they feel; and share their feelings of care, love, kindness, and respect with each other.

Sharing emotions helps build familiarity between the spouses. Also, it makes both comfortable with one another. 

2. Learn to say sorry and thank you

Apologizing and thanking your partner on minor things will never make you inferior.

These two are the building blocks of a strong relationship. Many people keep themselves busy in calculating who was wrong, who was the main culprit of all the mess and the like. Such ideas make marriage even worse.

Hence, any of the partners must not feel shy or hesitate in apologizing or saying thanks on occasions. 

3. Appreciate each other’s appearance

Both the spouses long to see each other fresh and alluring throughout their lives.

They wish to look the same as they were in the early days of their marriage. So taking care of the appearance and the attire you wear for the sake of your partner will always impress them.

In addition to this, appearance always demands appreciation. We expect our partners to compliment us when we dress up nicely.

These comments are just mere, yet they cost a lot. 

4. Focus on the positive aspects of each other

Relationships are not easygoing. Life experiences many ups and downs that expose various moods and attitudes of both the partners.

Remember that where there is positivity, there is always negativity too. So in order to live a happy and cheerful life, it is necessary to overlook the flaws of each other and highlight the goodness.

After all, marriage is all about accepting each other including the flaws as well as the good qualities. 

5. Expect little and invest more

Some couples live in a thought bubble, expecting too much from each other.

As a result of this, they get hurt when their expectations are spoiled. Marital relationships are all about investing your feelings, respect, care, and immense love without expecting the same in return because expectations lead to disappointments.

Also, a practical approach towards life and your relation keep you away from all the miseries. 

6. Listen to each other with the concentration

Listening to what your partner has in store to say is an exercise that can impact your relationship greatly.

If both of them are going to express themselves, the output is never going to be fruitful. Instead, one of them has to let the other person speak while the other listens to him with full attention.

This would enhance respect for each other’s opinions. 

7. Be honest with each other

Honesty and truthfulness are the major secrets of an ideal marriage. People who prefer to lie on petty things, simply destroy the trust and belief of their partner.

It is better to emphasize truthfulness because this would eventually strengthen the marital bond.

In conclusion, following the above steps can make your marriage work for years.

The post Easy Steps to Making to 5+ Years of Marriage appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2SAOomA

How Much Does It Cost to Get Married? Best Budget-Wedding Ideas

Marriage is a one-time affair, the most important day in your life. People plan for years for this day. They start saving every penny they could to make sure they have an amazing marriage. However, the constantly increasing price often makes them worry ‘how much does it cost to get married?’

Everyone wants the best. Every individual has their own dream wedding. They want the best of everything on that day and would not shy away from spending. However, it is essential that you don’t overspend on your wedding day and regret later on. As per the study by the Knot, Americans spend an average of $33,391 on their weddings. However, this depends on where you live and at what time of the year you’re getting married.

Nonetheless, listed below are some tips on how you can have the best wedding within a budget.

Save as much as you can

The early you start the better. Weddings are getting costlier as we speak. The prices are increasing and if you’re not planning things in advance you would end up with a huge dent in your pocket. If you’ve not saved enough money, you will have to take a loan then worry about repaying it.

Since you would be contributing a lot for your wedding, it’s essential that you start keeping some fund for it. Many Americans don’t plan things in advance and then end up taking loan and repaying them later.

Reach out to your bank and look for possible options wherein you can save a certain percentage of your salary for your dream wedding.

Decide your budget

Deciding a budget is as important as saving the money. You should know your limit or how much you’re planning to spend on your wedding. Certainly, you won’t be contributing entirely on your wedding your partner would pitch-in as well. So, what’s your budget?

Having a budget gives you a rough idea of how much you need to save and what percentage of your salary go into that.

Whilst planning the budget, consider everything, right from booking the church to venue to catering to band, everything. Surely, you have to save a little extra than the budget keeping in mind the rising price.

Take full control of everything

It is understood that taking control of everything by yourself isn’t going to be a good idea, but then this way you would save some money on hiring an event planner. It is your wedding and you know what you want. The best way to have it the way you want it is by doing things yourself.

Seek the help of your friends to share your responsibilities. Also, instead of hiring a high-end musician, you can ask your cousin or a friend to be a DJ at your wedding. They would be happy to be a part of it. Also, you can go to your family restaurant than hiring a catering service; only if you think it’s possible.

Scrutinize your list

When people ask how much does it cost to get married, they eliminate the chance to scrutinize their guest list. It is an important day of your life and you want to invite as many people as possible but it’s ideal. There are people whom you have lost touch with over the years, or maybe someone is not that close to you.

It is necessary that you invite only those who really matter to you. Don’t worry about what they would think. It’s your wedding, it’s your day.

You get a chance to invite only those whom you care about or love. Inviting everybody is just going to increase your budget.

Picking a location strategically

Location does play an important part in a wedding. When you’re selecting a wedding venue, do proper research. See how much does each venue cost, the surrounding, the accessibility and the weather in that area. If you think getting married abroad is budget friendly, don’t hesitate.

Couples don’t realize they spend quite a lot of money on venue. By making a strategic choice you can save a lot of money.

Choose your wedding day wisely

Did you know if you are getting married on the weekend that cost may be high as opposed to getting married on a weekday? Yes, it is observed that most wedding fall on Saturday and the increasing demand increases the price of the venue.

Go for a weekday and you can negotiate the price. That’s what most wedding planners do to save some extra money.

Decoration

Sometimes, the less is more. You have dreamed about an extraordinary wedding, a day that will be remembered by you and all those who have attended it. Certainly, you want to make it grand and won’t shy away from having the best decoration in the world. Well, think for a while and see how you can have an elegant decoration.  

Let your creative mind flow and opt for minimalistic decoration.

For instance, less yet impressive flower decoration, usage of fake flowers instead of real ones, and making your own bouquets instead of getting it from outside. These things can make a lot of difference.

Weddings are essentials and they do cost a lot if things are not planned in advance. Along with asking how much does it cost to get married also ask how you can have a budget wedding.

The above-mentioned points give a clear idea of you can have a great wedding with a limited budget without negotiating with your dreams.

The post How Much Does It Cost to Get Married? Best Budget-Wedding Ideas appeared first on Marriage.com Blog.

from Marriage.com Blog https://ift.tt/2Vn51DP