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How to File an Uncontested Divorce

If it looks like your marriage is going to come to an end, you may be unsure about your legal options and the processes that will be followed.

When you get divorced, you generally have multiple options for how to proceed, and one of the first things to address is whether your divorce will be contested or uncontested. If you are not ready to end your marriage, couples may also choose legal separation.

When many people think of a contested divorce, they believe that it refers to whether a person wishes to contest their spouse’s divorce petition. However, while it is possible to fight against a potential divorce and attempt to save a marriage, it is often best to proceed as if the divorce will take place.

If spouses decide to reconcile, a divorce petition can be withdrawn, but by preparing for how to handle the issues involved in dissolving the marriage, they can make sure their rights are protected if they do ultimately decide to get divorced.

So, what is an uncontested divorce?

From a legal perspective, an uncontested divorce refers to a case in which spouses are able to reach an agreement on all outstanding legal issues and resolve matters outside of the courtroom.

Rather than taking the case before a judge and asking him or her to reach a decision, spouses can reach a divorce settlement on their own, and once all decisions involved in ending their marriage have been made, they can finalize the divorce process and legally end their marriage.

What is the process followed during an uncontested divorce?

In an uncontested divorce, spouses will need to be able to work together to resolve the issues involved in ending their marriage. Because of this, it is often best if they discuss the end of their marriage before one spouse files a petition for divorce.

This can help them identify any financial issues that they may need to address, and they may also begin working together to determine how to resolve matters related to child custody and parenting time.

After one spouse files a divorce petition, the other spouse will file a response. They will then complete the discovery process, in which each spouse will make full financial disclosure to the other regarding the income they earn, the property they own, and the debts they owe.

This will ensure they have all the information they need to negotiate a fair divorce settlement.

The parties will need to address all of the legal issues involved in ending their marriage, and they may resolve these matters through negotiations between themselves or using methods such as mediation or collaborative law.

The issues to be addressed may include:

1. Property division

All marital property a couple owns together will need to be divided fairly and equitably between the two of them.

Marital assets may include funds in joint bank accounts, the marital home, vehicles, furniture, jewelry, collectibles, and retirement accounts or pensions. A couple will also need to divide any joint debts, such as credit card balances.

2. Spousal support

One spouse may need financial support from the other following divorce.

This is often referred to as alimony or spousal maintenance, and the amount of support will be based on the income earned by both parties, while the time payments will last will be based on the length of the marriage.

3. Child custody

Divorcing parents will need to determine how they will share the responsibilities involved in raising their children, and they will need to create a schedule for the time children will spend with each parent.

4. Child support

Usually, the custodial parent (the parent-children spend the majority of the time with) will receive financial support from the other parent.

Once all of these issues have been resolved, they will be included in a divorce settlement. The spouses will then attend a final court hearing in which this settlement will be approved, and the divorce will be finalized.

Difference between a contested and uncontested divorce

While an uncontested divorce may not be completely conflict-free, it is usually a much less adversarial process than a contested divorce.

If spouses can agree to work out their differences between themselves, they can avoid much of the difficulty that comes with resolving matters in the courtroom.

In a contested divorce, multiple court hearings will typically need to be held to address various matters during the divorce process, leading up to a divorce trial in which a judge will make the final decisions on any outstanding issues.

Each spouse will need to pay for an attorney to prepare and file petitions and provide representation in these hearings. They may also need to pay for financial appraisers, child custody evaluators, or other experts.

Many of these complications and costs can be avoided in an uncontested divorce, and the process can often be completed much more quickly and easily if the spouses are able to negotiate a settlement they can both agree on.

Do I need a lawyer for an uncontested divorce?

Even if spouses are able to reach an agreement on the various issues involved in ending their marriage, it is highly recommended to consult with an attorney before finalizing the divorce process.

The uncontested divorce lawyer can help you with the uncontested divorce forms as well as the uncontested divorce cost. 

They can make sure that all legal issues have been addressed, and they can identify any concerns that may lead to complications after the divorce has been completed.

Notably, an attorney can only represent one party in a divorce.

If one spouse has worked with a lawyer to prepare a settlement, the other spouse should consult with their own attorney to ensure that the settlement will protect their rights and meet their needs.

How long does an uncontested divorce take?

The length of uncontested divorce will depend on the complexity of the issues that need to be resolved.

If spouses do not have any children together, do not own a home, and have minimal debt, they may be able to address issues quickly and easily and finalize their divorce within a few weeks.

However, if spouses need to resolve matters related to custody of children, ownership of complex assets, or spousal support, reaching a settlement may take several months or longer.

Do you have to go to court for an uncontested divorce?

If spouses are able to negotiate a settlement between themselves, they may be able to avoid attending court until the final hearing in which they will file their settlement and complete the process of ending their marriage.

However, even in an uncontested divorce, it may be necessary to attend court hearings to determine how some issues, such as child custody or child support, will be handled during the divorce process.

Can an uncontested divorce become contested?

Even if spouses agree to work together to negotiate a divorce settlement, they may find that there are some issues that they simply cannot reach an agreement on.

In these cases, their divorce may become contested, and a divorce trial may need to be held to resolve the outstanding issues.

However, in many cases, a judge will encourage spouses to find a way to reach a settlement without the need for a trial.

For more information, watch this video:

Should I get an uncontested divorce?

The traditional divorce process involves heated battles in the courtroom as spouses argue over how issues involving their children, their property, and their finances should be handled.

However, divorce does not need to be adversarial, and in many cases, spouses are able to negotiate a settlement and complete the divorce process with minimal conflict.

If you are looking to end your marriage, you should speak to a family law attorney about your options and learn how you can work to reach a divorce settlement that will protect your rights and meet your needs.

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How to Manage Finances After Marriage

Okay, I’ll be frank. Growing up, I always said marriage wasn’t for me. My mother figured I was just young and would outgrow singing that tune. When I turned 30, she got nervous that I wouldn’t give her grandkids.

Then, of course, the unexpected happened, I met … her.  The woman who drives me mad, yet I love dearly. A few wedding bells later, and I have the ball and chain on my ankle! Okay, that last part was a joke.

But seriously, I was terrified. I understood the hurdles of a strong, healthy marriage — the possibility of divorce being one of them.

I didn’t want to end up as just another part of a growing statistic, where 40% – 50% of marriages in the U.S. end in divorce, according to the American Psychology Association.

Now, long after the hot and heavy honeymoon, we argued. A lot. Most of which were about, you guessed it, money, which is the second leading cause of divorce.

To start with, we didn’t have much, so I knew we were in for an uphill battle.

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Communicating about marriage finances

When I was single, I had made it my mission to learn frugality. My job didn’t yield much, and I had to make ends meet. I penny pinched whenever and wherever I could.

I carried that same mindset into the relationship. She was a spender. She lived in the moment. I was always thinking of the future. I’m sure I’ve been referred to as cheapskate in an argument or two.

One of the biggest problems I noticed was the lack of communication about how to manage finances after marriage.

We only had shouting matches when facing financial hiccups. From foolish purchases to hidden purchases, anxiety and stress were the feelings evoked whenever the topic of money came up.

It was during the most heated bouts that, sadly, I considered calling it quits. Then one day, we had a serious talk about it all: our debt, our spending, and, most importantly, our goals.

When we set clear financial goals for ourselves and made commitments to ourselves and each other, it not only strengthened our marriage finances but our marriage as well.

Fixing your marriage finances

My son was born with gastroschisis, a condition where the child’s intestines are developed outside of his abdomen.

Because of this, he needed 24-hour care that most daycares aren’t willing to provide.

It’s for this reason in my household, I am the breadwinner, and my wife is a stay at home mom(yes, my mom got that grandchild she was so sure I might not give her).

It’s traditional, yet it works for us.

“Couples need to understand their money difference, like who’s the spender and who’s the saver, so they can be on the same page with their finances,” said Rachel Cruze, finance expert and #1 New York Times best-selling author.

Despite our arrangement, we weren’t on the same page, let alone the same book when it came to managing finances after marriage.

We engaged in what many relationships that fail are lacking in: communication.

We took the time to iron out our spending habits, what we can save, and how this played into our long term and short term goals of being debt-free.

And not only setting aside college money for my little monster(believe me he is!) but also our nest egg for retirement.

This was no easy feat, but it was worth it.

Letting go of the discomfort

A study conducted by Ramsey solutions in 2017 acknowledged that money is the number one issue married couples argue about.

Hence, it’s not surprising that money is such an uncomfortable topic of discussion.

In a 2017 Money Matters report, 68% of the 3,000 Americans surveyed said they would rather talk about their weight than money.

For my wife and me, it was no different at first. We avoided the subject like the plague. This, intern, stirred resentment on both sides.

She saw me as controlling and petty, and I saw her as a frivolous money pit who thought nothing of tomorrow and what it may bring. In short, the ant was married to the grasshopper.

But what made it easy to break the ice and start “the talk” was finding common ground: our son.

In our talk, we addressed that we owed it to him to get our marriage finances right. We both were well aware of growing up in poor households where debt and stress were the norm and didn’t want the same for our son.

But having one discussion isn’t enough. We had conversations about money on a regular basis.

Every marriage is different. So are their finances

Like the individuals that comprise them, each marriage is unique, as is the way they handle their finances in marriage.

That said, the most common ways I’ve heard from married friends and family on how they manage their greenbacks is either:

1. Keeping separate accounts and splitting the bills. 
2. Keeping separate accounts but pooling some of their income on a joint account
3. Just having joint accounts.

I’ve heard friends say there are pros and cons to each way, but I personally think that that reflects on the couple’s values.

My wife and I chose to have joint accounts mainly because we felt both of us having access to all our funds, in the event one of us is unable to grant access, is more important in the long run.

This method may not be the best way for every relationship, and I’m sure some people would object with its drawbacks.

But this method gave us a sense of accountability to each other while strengthening our marriage.

How should married couples split finances depends upon the type of connection the couple shares.

Today’s finances equal tomorrow’s dreams

The American dream isn’t a far fetched ideology. I don’t think so, anyway.

I’m a firm believer that my wife and I will see it actualized. Taking the necessary steps to financial freedom is the key to our slice of the American dream.

Not to say we got it perfect, but today my wife and I share the same financial goals, and we persevere through the bumps when they come.

To the couples out there struggling with their marriage finances, I hope this serves as a catalyst to have “the money talk.” Cooperation starts with communication.

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7 Financial Mistakes Newlyweds Should Avoid

Getting married is a beautiful phase of our lives, but it’s also hectic. At this time, thinking about newlywed finances is the last thing we could do.

It might seem irrelevant right now, but financial mistakes are common with the newlyweds. Money can often become the root cause of arguments.

Managing finances for newly married couples can seem to be a daunting task. It is therefore important to start planning your finances right from the inception.

To help you keep your calm and streamline your finances proceeding the wedding, let’s talk about the seven financial mistakes that you, as newlyweds, should avoid to have a happy and successful marriage.

1. No Budget

Not having a budget is the first financial mistake that newlyweds often make.

Of course, after marriage, you are so likely to be in the awe of a newlywed feel. You wish to hang around together, party all weekends, buy new dresses and are in the mood to enjoy to the fullest.

But remember that expending more than what you have, results in debt. And, settling this debt becomes one of the significant reasons for arguments amongst the couples.

So do not go over budget.

What you can do here is, prepare a newlyweds budget, set aside a specific portion of money for your parties, shopping, etc. and try not to go beyond the set limit.

2. Not understanding the financial habits of your partner

Now, this is a priority.

After you start living together, in very less time, you get to know the financial habits of each other, such as the pattern of expenditure, savings, financial goals, etc.

For instance, your partner may love to eat out, but you don’t? What if you tend to spend lavishly on vacations, but your partner isn’t comfortable with it?

So, the essential financial advice for newlyweds is to not ignore the financial habits of your partner.

Remember, mutual understanding is the foundation of a happy married life. So, observe and talk about these financial habits as your relationship grows.

3. Not being honest about your financial history

Budget and financial habit is something that you can track and work it out together.

But, not knowing the financial history of one another will lead to a big financial dip in the future. And, this is a very common financial mistake that every newlywed couple makes.

If you have any financial history that your partner should know, you should make it known to them as soon as possible.

Examples include a loan (payment due post-marriage) for the business you started, a loan for your brother or sisters education, or any kind of financial issue which you think is essential for your partner to know.

Do not be dishonest with your partner. By telling each other about your financial issues, you can also figure out how to counter these problems together.

4. Ignoring financial goals

Now, this is something that can be a financial mistake of a lifetime.

If you, as a couple, do not decide on your financial goals at the right time, it can cost you a big deal in the near future.

Individually, you both know each other well, in terms of what you want in life. It may happen that you may be thinking of buying a house sometime soon, but your spouse is looking to buy a car.

So here would be a clash of future goals, which can be sorted by not ignoring each other’s financial goals and discussing in advance about it.

5. No investments

Now, after you have worked your financial goals on pen paper, avoid the financial mistake of just letting it be there.

Work it out and decide as to which investments you wish to pool in together to reach your financial goals.

Just talking about investments and not contributing to it in actuality, may create future insecurity between the couples.

6. Spending without discussing

We might ignore miscellaneous expenditures, but decisions such as replacing your old furniture, getting the house painted, buying a home theatre, replacing your existing ACs, etc. without mutual discussion often lead to huge disagreements.

It may happen that your partner may be planning something else at that time and may not be happy with such a decision of yours.

So, the best here is to avoid spending without talking about it.

As a couple, you can discuss your take on your future financial decisions.

Watch this video to gain insights into combining finances after marriage:

7. Excessive use of credit cards

Using credit cards frequently to please your partner can make you live by paychecks every month. This reinforces the importance of financial planning for newlyweds.

It is always pleasing to give expensive gifts, surprises to your partner as newlyweds, but remember, you can postpone these desires.

You cannot exhaust all your cash and credit pleasing your partner.

If a sudden emergency comes up and you have already used the credit card limit (which you had kept for emergencies), or if there is a low cash balance in your account, what would you do?

So, avoid this financial mistake of going on a money-spending spree. Use simple things to surprise each other rather than going highly expensive.

We all have our share of financial mistakes, for sure, as a married couple.

But, if we value each others’ advice and respect each others’ take on things, it will surely blossom as a happy marriage with surely less financial mistakes.

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6 Things to Consider When Moving in Together Before Marriage

Moving in together with your partner is a big step that can make a lot of sense.

Waking up next to your loved one every day can seem like a dream come true, but there are also practical reasons for moving in with significant other.

Moving in together gives you a chance to “test out” the relationship before tying the knot, and it can also make financial sense.

But moving in together isn’t all sunshine and rainbows, and there are many things to discuss before moving in together.

By learning more about your partner, you’re inevitably going to discover their bad habits (we all have them) — and living under the same roof is the ultimate compatibility test.

The timing of when you move in together can be a significant factor when it comes to whether or not your relationship will continue to thrive.

And for couples who want to get married, it often comes down to whether you should move in together before or after marriage.

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Things to consider before moving in together

If you have been wondering what to know before moving in together or are simply looking for some moving in together advice.

Here are 6 tips for couples moving in together about the things they must consider before taking such a big step.

1: Do you want to test the waters before getting married?

One of the biggest advantages of moving in together before tying the knot is you’ll get to “test out” the relationship. 

Living together gives you a chance to get to know each other on a much deeper level. You’ll spend more time with each other and find out what your loved one is like “behind the scenes.”

Cohabiting will shed light on your partner’s habits, their hygiene routine, and how they manage their money.

This aspect of living together is what can make or break a relationship. Couples may argue if they have contrasting lifestyles, they could realize they aren’t compatible.

On the other hand, couples might thrive when living together and remain very much in love, even after getting to know their partner’s habits and flaws.

If you and your partner live happily together before marriage, this might reassure you that your relationship can go the distance.

And if it doesn’t work out, it’s much easier to separate and move out of your joint home before marriage.

2: Cohabiting will affect the wedding planning process

If marriage is just around the corner for you and your partner, it may be worth waiting until after the big day to move in together.

Living together can put a strain on the wedding planning process, as it can feel like there’s no escaping wedding talk. Discussing wedding ideas should be something you enjoy doing together, but it shouldn’t take over your lives.

For brides-to-be living with their partner, it can also be difficult to hide your wedding dress from your significant other.

Your partner is likely to see your bridal magazines or vision boards, overhear details about your dress, or even stumble across your wedding gown.

So if you’re hoping to keep certain wedding planning details a secret, living with your partner can make this a little tricky.

And the last thing you want is for your living situation to take away from the magic of your special day.

3: Living together can make financial sense

Living with your partner can be much more affordable than living separately as you’ll split the rent or mortgage, the bills, and household costs.

So if you’re hoping to save money, living together sooner rather than later can be a good idea.

By making sure both you and your partner are in a good position financially, you’ll alleviate any stress that might otherwise put a strain on the relationship.

Money isn’t everything, but your financial health can play a big role in the happiness of your relationship. So if you and your significant other are financially better off living together, you might want to consider moving in together before getting married, rather than waiting.

4: Are you moving in together for the right reasons?

While it’s good to consider the financial benefit of living together, you should consider your main reasons for wanting to live with your partner.

Couples often move in together before marriage to resolve existing relationship issues, or so one can financially support the other.

Moving in together for these reasons can lead to further tension in the relationship, and is more likely to result in separation.

However, moving in for the right reasons can lead to a happier and more successful marriage.

You and your partner should be on the same page about wanting to live under the same roof and your reasons for doing so.

For example, one of the best reasons for moving in together is if you both want to take your relationship to the next level and start a life together.

5: Deciding vs. sliding into a commitment

When it comes to moving in together, couples can find they’ve “slid” into cohabiting rather than consciously decided to live together.

Couples might spend more and more nights a week in each other’s company until eventually, they feel as though they’re already living under the same roof.

This can put pressure on couples to officially move in together before they’re ready.

And once couples live together, the same thing can happen with marriage.

Moving in together can create momentum towards marriage, and cohabiting couples might feel pressure to get engaged from each other, their friends, and family.

This can push couples into staying together, even if they feel the relationship isn’t right.

And whether couples are happy or not, they may feel they’re “sliding” into engagement and planning a marriage sooner than they’d like, or perhaps with someone they wouldn’t otherwise have committed to.

6: Getting married can feel less significant after living together

Traditionally, when a couple got married, that was the start of their life together. The wedding ceremony celebrated the start of a new beginning, a new life together.

But for couples already living together, getting married can feel less significant because not much will change after the ceremony.

Some people will decide not to marry after living with their partner for this reason. So if marriage is important to you, you should discuss your desire to get married to your partner before moving in.

Does moving in first affect the success of a marriage?

It can be tempting to turn to statistics for guidance on whether or not to move in before tying the knot, but every relationship is different. Ultimately, only you and your partner can make the decision.

The majority of surveys have shown living together before marriage increases the likelihood of divorce, but the figures vary from study to study.

Some studies conclude that divorce is only slightly more likely after cohabitation, while others have shown it be up to 50% more likely.

However, there have also been recent surveys that have reached the exact opposite conclusion. The varying statistics show it really comes down to the circumstances of the individual couple.

So whether you want to start living with your loved one before or after walking down the aisle, there’s no right or wrong answer.

There are pros and cons to both options, and what works for one couple might not work for another.

Before deciding when to take this next step, consider your reasons for doing so and talk through your hopes and desires for the future with your partner.

This is how you’ll solidify the foundations of a successful relationship and marriage.

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Expand Your Options By Dating a Younger Man

Thinking about dating a younger man?  Perhaps you already are.  He is attractive, into you, and may have a lot going for him.  But he may be 10 or more years younger than you.  And while the whole older guy-younger woman thing is accepted in our culture, the reverse is less true.  There is still…

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How Long Does the Honeymoon Phase Last?

At the start of a relationship or marriage, it can feel like you’re walking on sunshine.

Everything about your relationship, your partner, and the potential for your future together is new and exciting — you feel whisked away by romance and passion.

This magical, first stage of a relationship or marriage is the honeymoon phase. But, when does the honeymoon phase end?

The honeymoon period can feel like the most amazing part of a relationship, but it will, unfortunately, come to an end.

And while the end of this romantic phase can seem like a bad thing, it can actually give your relationship a chance to change for the better.

Overcoming the end of the honeymoon romance can cause your relationship to become even stronger.

Whether you’re enjoying the start of a new relationship, or you’ve just packed away your wedding dress, here’s what you need to know about what is the honeymoon phase and how long does the honeymoon phase lasts.

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How long does the honeymoon phase last?

There’s no one answer to how long honeymoon romance lasts because every couple is different.

Most couples enjoy the thrill of the honeymoon phase for anywhere from six months to two years.

So you could have up to two years of fresh and exciting romance where you and partner continue to discover more about each other and share first experiences.

The honeymoon phase ends or rather fizzles out when your relationship no longer feels as new or exciting.

You might feel like you’ve learned everything there is to know about your partner; you might not feel as excited to spend time with them.

You may even be a little bored with spending so much time with them. This isn’t to say you don’t love your partner anymore.

The end of the honeymoon phase is just something every couple has to overcome — nothing can feel new and thrilling forever.

How to make the honeymoon phase last longer?

Different factors can affect how long the honeymoon romance lasts for you and your partner.

And this means there are certain things you can both do to make the novelty of your relationship last a little longer.

You can’t make it last forever, but following some of these steps could keep the flame burning for an extra few months.

1. Remember you still need your space

During your honeymoon phase, you might feel like you want to spend every waking moment with your partner. But the reality is, the more time you spend together, the sooner the thrill of the new romance is likely to wear off.

That doesn’t mean you should keep your partner at arm’s length — it just means a little space can be a good thing.

See friends as well as each other, and schedule in some alone time too. Remember the old saying that absence makes the heart grow fonder — spending time away from your partner can intensify the romance and keep the flame of passion burning for longer.

By seeing friends and family, and gaining an outside perspective on your romance, as well as taking time to be alone and reflect on your new relationship, you’ll come to appreciate your partner even more.

2. Try something new with your partner.

Enjoying new experiences with your partner can keep the relationship exciting and give you a chance to learn more about each other. It doesn’t matter what you do, as long as it’s something you can enjoy together.

You could go for dinner at a new restaurant and get dressed up, or plan a romantic experience or trip away. Or you try an adventurous date, like a self-defense class or a visit to a rock-climbing wall.

3. Set the scene at home

Whether you and your partner live together already, or you have dates around each other’s houses, spending some time creating a romantic atmosphere can keep the romance alive.

If you’re both busy with work or enjoying each other’s company, it can be easy to forget about setting the scene at home.

Keep your home clean and tidy, so when you spend time together, you can relax together without worrying about anything. 

And consider doing things in and around your home to make your partner happy — cook them their favorite meal, decorate with their favorite colors, or surprise your partner with a fresh bunch of flowers.

When the honeymoon phase ends.

Eventually, the honeymoon phase will come to an end, but don’t fret, the end of this phase isn’t a bad thing. What happens next can be just as exciting — the make-or-break stage.

You might realize you and your partner aren’t compatible in the real world, or you could overcome the end of the honeymoon phase and be stronger than ever.

After the honeymoon stage, you’ll start to realize your partner’s habits and flaws. It can feel like the rose-tinted glasses have come off. But if you still feel as strongly for your partner despite their flaws, you may have found lasting love.

With the initial novelty of the relationship gone, it can start to feel more real. You’ll begin to feel more comfortable with each other, you might become more open, and you might even have a few arguments, but that’s all part of being in a real and solid relationship.

And what no one tells you about the honeymoon phase is it can come and go.

You probably won’t experience the same intense romance as you did during your initial honeymoon period, but you might go through stages where you and your partner fall in love with each other all over again.

And each time, you might just fall a little harder. So instead of worrying about the end of the honeymoon phase, look forward to what’s to come.

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Pre-wedding Photoshoot Tips and Tricks for Couples

Just like a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step, a happy marriage starts with an awesome pre-wedding photoshoot.

Indeed, a well-organized pre-wedding photoshoot commences the narrative of a loving couple and captures the moments of adoring that echoes through the ages to keeps two loving souls together in the time of trouble.

A pre-wedding photoshoot is the mainstream of recent years, and not for nothing – more and more couples realize the benefits of a pre-wedding photoshoot in addition to the beauty itself.

It is a good way to establish a bond with the photographer, prepare him for the wedding day, as well as create settings, and pick locations for the wedding photo session.

Successful pre-wedding photoshoot ideas for couples are a big pot of energy, inspiration, and loving power…the pot that you can open anytime to relive the intimate memories that glued you together once and for all.

That said, you cannot rely only on the photographer since it’s always the synergy of both that creates the masterpiece.

Whether you use traditional photoshoot poses, fashion photos, glamorous pictures, or anything else, the man behind the camera does most of the job, but the last word is always yours to speak, which is why you should learn the ropes in advance.

Without further ado, let’s go straight to the tips to make you all set to capture the beauty and love bubbling up between you two.

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Take your time to choose the style and location

Sticking to a particular style in pre-wedding photos is quite a successful approach. Here are the ideas that you may choose depending on the location, season, budget, and preferences:

1. Nature

Nature and animal lovers love lake/beach/seaside shots, pictures with pets/horses, and even underwater photos.

Indigenous pre-wedding photoshoots are genuinely romantic for nothing looks cuter alongside a loving couple than a noble stallion, a majestic tree, or a colorful butterfly.

2. Night

When shadows of the night come in play, everything looks different. Night shoots are very special and absolutely necessary for those loving the mystery of the darkness.

Furthermore, there’s no chance any of your friends have similar photos. Night photography is harder for cameramen, but it is completely worth the effort.

3. Culture

Displaying cultural roots in a pre-wedding photoshoot is a popular idea, but it still works since there are so many different peoples on our planet that you can always be unique in your own way.

Just pick the right location, preferably off the beaten track, and imprint the natural vibes in the photos.

4. Fashion

Glamorous pictures are great to convey sexuality and fire in your relationship.

High-heeled shoes, sophisticated hairstyle, red lipstick, long lashes, and tempting look on the bride and solid tuxedo and shiny black shoes on the groom create an eye-catching, glamorous ensemble and become ‘that thing’ between you two for the rest of your life.

5. Rain

If the desire to unite with nature and breathe subtle emotions into your pre-wedding photoshoot wins the willingness to stay warm and in comfort, a few dozen of rainy photos taken at the end of the session may be priceless.

Rain saturates photos with riot, rebellion, passion, and who knows how many other emotions that we have no chance to experience in our daily life.

Important: It might happen that you two have different views on your pre-wedding photoshoot.

The best way to go then is to create a long story with one style gradually transforming into the other and thereby telling a narrative of two opposite worldviews combined into an unbreakable, everlasting impulse of beauty, passion, and love.

Don’t miss these crucial aspects

The photoshoot style and location usually come along – one can hardly be chosen standalone. But not only that – there are more facets to hone:

Storytelling

The first thing that comes to mind when you ponder over how to make a good pre-wedding photoshoot great is personalities. And it’s hard to disagree.

Think of what makes you two special, what unites you; ponder the most precious moments to depict.

The pre-wedding story may start at the place where you met/had your first holiday/where the proposal was made, etc.

Make sure to depict your traits – take your favorite clothes with you, make your favorite hairstyle, etc. Avoid being completely different to preserve the connection with your inner selves.

Season and style

You cannot take summer photos in winter and otherwise, or at least you will have to shoot in a studio.

Similarly, you are bound to have a hard time taking photos in tourist places or popular locations in a peak season.

Finally, your style should fit the weather (generally, weather conditions aren’t a big deal since you can just postpone the pre-wedding photoshoot, but it’s always better to follow the forecast and avoid extra expenses).

Price

Balancing wedding and pre-wedding budgets might be a challenging part since nobody wants to sacrifice the quality or the number of photos to be taken.

This does not mean you should not seek for ways to save money on a wedding photographer.

However, you have no other way but to find a proportion that would fit both you and the photographer.

Do your own research to choose the photographer

Since you have already picked the style and set the budget, it’s now easier to select the photographer. Here are a few tips on the matter:

1. Beginners with strong portfolios might be a bargain

Though higher quality usually means paying a higher price, the correlation not always holds true since there are hundreds of talented amateurs without weighty price tags on their services.

If your budget doesn’t allow you to hire an all-star professional photographer, look for undervalued gems on Pinterest, Facebook, Instagram, Youtube, Twitter, and Snapchat – just skim through the portfolios of authors that ask no more than you can afford, and maybe luck smiles on you.

2. Only relevant examples matter

One and the same cameraman may be good at depicting one style and suck at another. Thus, do not bother wandering through the whole collection – focus only on what is relevant.

Evaluate the quality of a few similar photoshoots to get an idea of what to expect from your future photos.

Consider the most recent items in the portfolio since approaches change, and old examples might not represent what you are about to get.

3. Arrange a personal meeting

Never hire a photographer until you meet in person, even if his portfolio has taken your breath away.

Sometimes it happens that interpersonal communication, posture, and other elusive things that can only be revealed during personal contact make a difference.

Therefore, don’t put the cart before the horse – take your time to understand the personality you are going to work with.

Take a break before the shoot

There are a million things to arrange and even more nuances to smoothen before the photo shoot, but you must be in good shape and with a good mood on that very day unless you want to look overworked at the photos destined to rekindle something that might be lost in the years to come.

Take at least a few-days-break before the shoot. Photoshop does wonders, but it has no power to turn a fake smile into a real one, as well as it is incapable of saturating your photos with awe, enjoyment, and love that all should be in abundance.

A good way to relax and inspire is to browse through collections of wedding pictures on photo stocks.

Among millions of wedding photos at Pixabay, Getty Images, Depositphotos, and other repositories, you will definitely find ones that touch your heart and can be replicated at your photoshoot.

Trust your photographer

The person you’ve chosen is a professional, right? If so, it’s only reasonable to trust his experiences in the area.

For sure, there’s no need to abandon your ideas, but be kind enough to let your cameraman refine those.

Stick to his advice on the location, decoration, shooting time, poses, edits, and more little things as they are already proved by practice, not the theoretical material you’ve read.

Since practice makes perfect, not theory, you have no reason to mistrust your photographer.

Wrap up

Though creative pre-wedding photography ideas can eat a fair share of your budget, in an extremely competitive and even more versatile world of wedding photo shooting, there’s always room for maneuver.

You don’t necessarily have to hire a renowned photographer to get what you want: as long as you are ready to spend your time and efforts on preparations, you have all the chance to write and immortalize the story of two loving hearts in your unique manner.

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Is it Time to Go to Couples Counseling?

There are telltale signs that signal you and your partner could benefit from couples counseling.

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3 Ways to Stop Reliving the Past

If you're struggling to stop reliving the past because you know it's preventing the love and connection you want, here are 3 ways...

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The Little Things You Do

we asked our followers to share some of the “small words, small gestures, and small acts” their partners do for them. Our hearts were so warmed by the responses, we’d love to share some of them with you.

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Romantic Love Messages for Your Partner

When it comes to Relationships, Love and Romantic messages are inseparable. In other words, Romantic love messages are capable of making your Relationship wax stronger.

Crafting sweet I love you messages for expressing your love can be very difficult at times.

So to help you find the most romantic things to say during those difficult times, I offer you the following deep love messages that are capable of putting a smile on your partner’s face.

Here are the best love messages to send your loved ones to make them happy.

The romantic words of these love messages are good for your boyfriend, girlfriend, wife, husband, and even a friend. Make their day today by sending them these cute love messages.

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Romantic love messages for him

1. Each time I sleep, I dream about you. When I wake up, I think about you. You’re all that I have. I love you, darling.
2. Anytime I am holding a flower, the first person that comes into my mind is you. I love you, sweetheart.
3. Nothing ever gives me joy, like spending a night with you. You’re the Apple of my eyes.
4. Your presence in my life gives me the strength to conquer all my worries. I am nothing without you, honey.
5. Each time I wake up, I stare at my phone, expecting your call or texts. I really miss you, dear.
6. Distance does not mean anything to us. You know why? You’re always in my heart. I love you, darling.
7. You’re my strength, my protector, and my hero. You’re a man every woman would like to have by her side. I love you, honey.

Cute love messages for her

1. He that finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord. I have found a perfect gift from above, and that is you.
2. You’re such an amazing creature that everyone would love to be with. Thanks for being my partner.
3. Words cannot explain how I feel right now, but one thing I know is that you are so good to me.
4. Your love is as sweet as honey. You’re the sugar in my tea. I adore you, dear.
5. I can never stop loving you. Heaven and earth shall pass away, but my love for you shall not. I admire you so much, my love.
6. Out of the flowers in the garden (women), you are the most beautiful one. I love you, my Angle.
7. When I wake up, the first person I think about is you. You are so precious to me. I love you, dear.
8. Indeed you’re a paragon of beauty and an epitome of love. I cherish you, my love.
9. Romantic love messages aren’t enough for me to describe my love for you. I wish I could just appear where you are now and give you a kiss. I love you.

Sweet I love you messages

1. I have never regretted knowing you for a day. You have been my strength in the time of weakness. I love you, dear.
2. Life changes, but together, we can make it even in a tough time. You’re the love of my life.
3. You’re my soul mate, the bone of my bone, and the flesh of my flesh. I can never stop loving you.
4. My greatest achievement is having you in my life. You’re a paragon of beauty, and the only reason for me to say ‘thank you, Lord.’
5. You’re so precious to me. Words cannot describe my feelings for you. I am in love with you.
6. When the storms of life arose, you proved to me that you are always by my side. I appreciate your love for me.
7. Love is sweet. I have found one, and that is you. I love you more than any other thing.
8. You are my greatest adventure. In case you don’t know, I will continue loving you till death do us apart.
9. You’re the Apple of my eyes. Anyone who touches you offends me. I love you, sweetheart.
10. If I should be a king today, you will be my queen. My love for you is indescribable.
11. To find love is to find joy, peace, and happiness. All these now exist in my life ever since you became my partner. I cherish you, darling.

Love messages for friends

1. A friend in need is a friend indeed. You’re more than a friend to me, dear.
2. What can I give you to show appreciation for your loving-kindness upon my life. You’re my best friend.
3. Even if I forget every other person, I can never forget you. You’ve made life so easy for me. I love you, my friend.
4. You’re the only one who understands me. When others abandoned me, you stood by my side. You’re my best friend.
5. I love you. My prayer is that nothing on earth can ever be able to separate us. You are everything to me.
6. You are my best friend forever. You have always been a helping hand to me ever since we became friends. I love you, my dear friend.

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4 Ways to Stop Living With Regret

Legendary UCLA College Basketball Coach and student of life, John Wooden, once said, “Don’t let yesterday take up too much of today” which is perfect advice if you’re living with regret. Right off the top of my head, I can think of about a half-a-dozen …

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Dating after Divorce: Five Hacks for Success in Love

Dating after divorce is challenging—and it may seem next to impossible. You might be coming out of a long-term marriage, or a depleting relationship where you felt lonely, betrayed, wounded and sad.  You may be feeling like you are a “loser” when it comes to relationships. Or feeling like you are damaged, after suffering lots…

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Love in 90 Days - Dating Tips, Relationship Advice

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The Pursuer-Distancer Dynamic

While all couples need autonomy and closeness, many partners struggle with the pursuer-distancer dance and feel chronically dissatisfied with their degree of intimacy. When the pattern of pursuing and distancing becomes ingrained, the behavior of one partner provokes and maintains the behavior of the other.

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The Challenges of Domestic Violence: Relationships Fraught with Peril

If domestic violence raises its ugly head, can an intimate partnership be salvaged? Probably not, experts say.

Even more than infidelity, violence by one partner upon another, or violence by both is a deal-breaker as the basic trust and safety have been violated.

Violence undermines the very rationale for a close intimate partnership – to be loved, protected and cherished. Sadly, many couples think they can work through the issues that gave rise to violence; they rarely can.

Often, they stay together out of a misplaced sense of loyalty and love. Or because financial circumstances seem to demand they cohabit under one roof.

Once a violent incident occurs, more are likely to follow. It’s like an addiction; the problem only gets worse with time.

Read on to understand the multiple challenges of domestic violence. Several plausible solutions to domestic violence are also discussed here.

Myths about domestic violence

There are many misconceptions and outright myths about domestic violence. The most pervasive perhaps is that men are always the perpetrators, and women always the victims.

The notion seems to fit our neo-Victorian stereotypes about the two genders: men as aggressive, women as passive. But, these domestic violence facts are simply not true.

In fact, nearly 200 research studies conducted over several decades have consistently shown that men and women abuse each other in partnerships in roughly equal numbers.

How can that be?

Something deep within us rebels against the idea that women, who on average, are shorter and weigh less than men, could attack and successfully dominate a man.

Men are supposed to protect women from harm. A man striking a woman under any circumstances is thought to be an unforgivable act of cowardice.

For this reason, men seem to have trouble defending themselves from domestic violence. Women, by the same token, often claim that their own violence is purely defensive.

But studies, as far back as 1975, have shown otherwise. Women, it turns out, have the same dark and hidden impulses as men. 

The pressure cooker of their marriages, especially under conditions of financial stress, can lead them, like men, to strike out at their partner in frustration and anger.

Still, there are some documented differences in the typical forms of physical violence inflicted by the two genders.

For example, studies show that men more likely to use their fists or blunt instruments while women may use household items, including knives or even boiling water. In a number of highly-publicized incidents, women rammed their spouse’s cars with their own.

When abuse turns lethal, men are more likely to resort to firearms, women to poison, but even this traditional gender gap is narrowing, statistics show.

Emotional and psychological violence

In fact, physical violence is not the only problem. Psychological and emotional abuse can be just as devastating to intimate partnerships but, maybe these are far less visible.

While there is no agreed-upon definition of what constitutes such mental abuse, threats of physical violence, name-calling, constant yelling, bullying, financial manipulation, and chronic lying are all considered key elements.

Such abuse may be a precursor to physical violence but, not always. In fact, studies have shown that victims of emotional abuse may not even recognize it as abuse, even while developing symptoms of depression, anxiety, and trauma.

There is also a documented link between domestic violence and substance abuse, work absenteeism and in extreme cases, suicide.

Because there may be no obvious physical signs of emotional abuse, victims may simply minimize their influence. And if both spouses or partners engage in the same behavior, it may be dismissed as part of the “rough-and-tumble” of a complex but loving relationship.

As long as no children are present, openly combative spouses may feel they can wail on each other at will, “giving as good as they get,” with no concern for potential third party victims.

Are real solutions available?

What can be done? The challenges domestic violence survivors face are undoubtedly complex, but real solutions are possible.

Any couple experiencing relationship difficulties should consider counseling, of course, to achieve more effective communication before any pattern of overt or covert abuse develops.

However, because of patterns of denial, or simple lack of awareness, even recognizing and accepting patterns of abuse can be difficult.

Talking to one’s family or friends might seem wise, but many may be disbelieving, in fact, especially if they only know the perpetrator from his or her public persona.

There’s a simple rule: If someone you love tells you that he or she is being abused or fears being abused, you should listen. It’s not their imagination.

The same problem may be found with therapists and doctors. They may not feel qualified to address the issue, or consider it private, even when they might be suspicious and concerned.

Couples counseling, especially, can be a set-up for the perpetrator and domestic violence victim to cover up patterns of abuse.

Counselors in these settings need to exercise keen judgment in exploring patterns of unhealthy behavior that might constitute abuse. Handled poorly, the couple may never return to therapy.

Ultimately, the best source of information and guidance is likely to be an intimate partnership victim support specialist. There’s a national hotline to report incidents of domestic violence, 24-7.

Most states also fund a network of domestic violence traditionally known as “battered women” shelters, where abuse victims can seek temporary refuge. There is a growing awareness that these victims may well be men as well as women.

However, needed services to support male victims rarely in place; moreover, men, who are often reluctant to admit being victimized, especially by a woman, might not seek them out.

What friends should do

Those seeking to help fiends they suspect are abuse victims can do a lot of good.

Obvious signs of abuse include split lips and bruises and unexplained bone fractures. Behavioral cues include uncharacteristic meekness or evasiveness in discussing a spouse or partner

Experts say don’t be afraid to start a conversation with someone you think is being abused. Inquire from the standpoint of genuine concern for the person’s welfare.

Listen intently. Believe and validate the victim. Never judge him or her. Avoid blaming or criticizing the abuser. Keep the focus on the victim’s needs.

It is important for those planning to escape an abusive situation to have a formal “escape plan.” It should include a safe and confidential location, reliable transportation and sufficient resources for the victim to live on for an indefinite period of time.

Departure can be fraught with risk for the victim and for his or her supporters. In fact, those that flee are more at risk of being killed than those that stay, studies show.

Fear of extreme reprisals from an abusive partner is one of the many reasons that abuse victims choose to stay. Be brave, but take no unnecessary risks.

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Is there ever hope for a reunion?

This is a delicate topic fraught with peril. The willingness of some abuse victims to recommit to an abusive partner may reflect the same kind of denial that led them to suffer and tolerate the abuse in the first place.

Many say, once an abuser, always an abuser. Why go back?

Experts say it could depend on the actual circumstances and extent of the abuse, and the nature of the abuse.

Some abuse arises in the context of alcoholism or drug addiction and if the abuser gets clean and sober, there may be real behavior change that makes an eventual reunion possible.

In addition, abusers can undergo individual therapy, including anger management and deeper cognitive behavior therapy that may allow them to understand and shed their abusive nature and recommit to a loving partnership.

Successful examples of reunions do exist, especially where both parties were implicated in the abuse, and mutual forgiveness is required. One shouldn’t under-estimate the power of love and the capacity for the redemption of any human being.

But once severe abuse has occurred, there is no quick fix or pathway to healing. Some 10%-20% of abuse victims suffer lasting trauma that could make reunion under any circumstances unwise.

In the end, one may choose to re-engage one’s abuser with mutual acceptance but leave behind the dream of a lasting intimate partnership.

Cherish the good times. Declare “Never again.” And with heightened self-awareness and self-respect, find the new love you deserve.

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